Who is in control  

Angel_ii 55F
1226 posts
6/27/2006 6:28 pm

Last Read:
7/3/2006 6:40 am

Who is in control

How come it is so hard to give up the last little bit of control, to actually let myself go and completely give control to the other person. Sure I have been tied up, said you are in control, but yet, when it comes down to it, I just can not let it all go.

Does it come from my past? (Good chance) Does it come because I have a dominant side? There is only one person I actually feel completely at ease enough to say, you have completely control, and he knows who he is. He knows the reasons why.

Someone would like to control me, and I just can’t let that happen. I would like to, but I just do not have enough trust yet, may never.

On another subject why can’t I just let things go, let stuff run off my back like water off a ducks back. Some thing just put a knot in my stomach, make me sick. Usually it is something I can not do a thing about.

I hate jealousy, it is a useless emotion, and all it does is cause angry hurt and pain. I don’t like causing that type of pain, and I don’t like receiving those kinds of emotions. I don’t have time for those emotions; I have way too many things going on in my life to deal with that.

I hate living in the small town, no one to do, unless you want the whole town to know.

Oh well the joys of pain meds and muscle relaxors. Another blog entry of just stupid shit, kind of like drinking and email they don’t mix .


rm_plghair2 53M

7/3/2006 1:05 am

if you cant change it that vary second they dont worrie about

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