Top Tips for Motorists  

AlbertPrince 59M
4459 posts
2/2/2006 2:29 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Top Tips for Motorists

Pressing your 'fog lights' switch a second time after the fog has cleared will actually turn your fog lights off.

Drivers. Pressing the headlight switch for a second time dips the buggers.

HGV drivers. When climbing a long hill at 20 mph, the lane to drive in is the LEFT fucking one.

Fool other drivers into thinking you have an expensive car phone by holding an old TV or video remote control up to your ear and occasionally swerving across the road and mounting the kerb.

Avoid parking tickets by leaving your windscreen wipers turned to 'fast wipe' whenever you leave your car parked illegally.

A teaspoon placed in a glass on the back seat of your car makes a handy audible gauge for road bump severity.

Save petrol by pushing your car to your destination. Invariably passers-by will think you've broken down and help.

Avoid being wheel-clamped by jacking your car up, removing the wheels and locking them safely in the boot until you return.

Taxi drivers. Why not pop into the garage and ask them to fix your indicators lights for you so that other motorists know where the fuck you're going.

Pensioners. Try sitting on a pile of encyclopedias next time you go for a drive in your car. That way you will be able to see out of the front window.

Make people think you have an expensive car phone by calling them, asking them to repeat everything they say and then hanging up half way through their reply.

helga_hansen 50F
1987 posts
2/3/2006 12:02 am

Lol.. did we have a bad car day, by any chance?


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