PEOPLE & THEIR DRINKS  

AlbertPrince 59M
4459 posts
1/20/2006 3:24 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

PEOPLE & THEIR DRINKS

A recent magazine survey, interviewed fifty bartenders and they were asked if they could identify a customer’s personality on what drinks they ordered?
Although interviewed separately, they concurred on almost all counts.

The results:

IF WOMEN DRINK ...

BEER
Personality: Casual, low maintenance; down to earth.
Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool.

COCKTAILS OR BLENDER DRINKS WITH UMBRELLA
Personality: Flaky, annoying, dizzy, and a pain in the ass.
Approach: Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabin boy.

MIXED DRINKS - NO UMBRELLAS E.G.; GIN AND TONIC / SCOTCH AND SODA
Personality: Mature, has picky taste; knows what she wants
Approach: If she wants you, she’ll send YOU a drink.

WATER
Personality: Pretentious and is looking for a serious relationship.
Approach: Don’t.

WINE - (BOTTLED, NOT 4 LITRE CASK)
Personality: Conservative and classy, sophisticated.
Approach: Try and weave Paris and clothing into the conversation.

BACARDI BREEZER, RED SQUARE, ARCHERS COOLER, SMIRNOFF ICE, MUDSHAKE ETC.
Personality: Easy; thinks she is trendy and sophisticated actually has no clue.
Approach: Make her feel smarter than she is... and you’re in.

CAPE VELVET
Personality: Annoying voice, bit of a tart.
Approach: Stand close and mention the alley next to the pub.

SHOTS AND SLAMMERS (TEQUILA, VODKA, AFTERSHOCK ETC.)
Personality: Hangs around with male work pals or looking to get drunk...and naked.
Approach: Easiest hit in the pub, Nothing to do but wait.......


IF MEN DRINK... (As always, very simple and clear cut.)

CIDER
He’s probably under-aged and wants to get laid.

CHEAP DOMESTIC BEER
He’s poor / student and wants to get laid.

CASTLE LAGER BEER
He likes good beer and wants to get laid.

IMPORTED BEER
He’s old; he likes good beer and wants to get laid.

GUINNESS
The man is a and will get laid one way or another.

WATER
He just threw up and is trying to wash the taste out of his mouth so that he can still get laid

WINE
He’s hoping that the wine thing will give him a sophisticated image and help him get laid.

VODKA OR BRANDY
Extremely horny hound, would shag a warm scarf. Desperate to get laid.

PORT
Thinks he’s sophisticated, secretly likes men and wants to get laid.

WHISKY
He doesn’t give two $hits about anything and will hit anyone who will get in his way of getting laid.

JACK DANIELS
Not as masculine as the whisky drinker, knows all about feminine activities (knitting, crochet etc.) to weasel himself into getting laid.

RUM OR TEQUILA
Likes fighting almost as much as getting laid.

BACARDI BREEZER, RED SQUARE, ARCHERS COOLER, SMIRNOFF ICE, ETC
He’s gay (blatantly) - don’t turn your back or pick up any dropped change.



Sister_Act_4_You 39F/39F

1/20/2006 3:54 am

Hmmm....from that list, I drink wine, water, and smirnoff ice...wtf does that say about me?


DTduzDallas 51F

1/20/2006 5:41 am

I'm a mixed drink (bourbon & coke) and wine kinda girl...


JJKittyKat 60F

1/20/2006 5:47 am

I do like "would shag a warm scarf" it really made me laugh ho hum back to work!!


AlbertPrince 59M

1/20/2006 7:31 am

louisa ~ i think it says you are pretentious and sophisticated, or at least you think you are and apparently i'm in!

dt ~ so you'll be sending me a drink?

JJ ~ well, you know how desperate i am!


EyeCandy33333 46F
761 posts
1/20/2006 7:59 am

Well I used to drink scotch and soda-only do wine now.


sexyeyes375 48F

1/20/2006 8:38 am

hmm.. mixed drinks (vodka) and shots girl.. this paints a lovely picture of me at the bar..


helga_hansen 50F
1987 posts
1/20/2006 10:39 am

So I'm pretentious, picky, mature, classy and sophisticated! Sounds like quite a woman, I'm sure you'd agree!

Hhhmmm... well, I'd buy you a brandy, but it would just be easier to give you a scarf. Tell me where you want me to send it!

Hx

Love, hugs and kisses from ♥♥HH♥♥


rm_corezon 54F
3376 posts
1/20/2006 10:55 am

In order of preference:

Margaritas
Merlot
Corona or any "ice" beer (avoid the hangover)

Never light

Wine coolers and Natural Lights are disgusting...

Why drink if you can't catch a buzz? lol


oldman1776 79M
3164 posts
1/20/2006 12:28 pm

I'm an old fart and I'll drink just about any thing to get laid.


mangomamiCT 43F

1/20/2006 8:03 pm

so true


toothysmile 51M
16517 posts
1/21/2006 2:09 am

You left out Cognac and the bubbly...
Also... single malt whiskey...

but thanks anyway... ...


AlbertPrince 59M

1/21/2006 10:09 am

eyecandy ~ ever been to paris?

sexyeyes ~ send me a drink, i'm waiting

HH ~ i'm more a vodka man, but send the scarf, it might come in handy

corezon ~ is that all in one night?

oldman ~ me too

mango ~ yep

toothy ~ you're welcome


EyeCandy33333 46F
761 posts
1/21/2006 11:51 am

Well I have been on a pool table...lol-but I wasn't doing beer at the time!


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