Friends with Benefits......... hmmmmmm Does it work? What are the rules?  

77_u_get_8_mor77 43M
13 posts
3/31/2006 7:40 pm

Last Read:
8/8/2007 11:35 pm

Friends with Benefits......... hmmmmmm Does it work? What are the rules?


I recently just ran into a confrontation with a women that I was friends with benefits with.

She wanted more, I couldn't give more, I wanted the friendship, but the physical enjoyment. I just couldn't put my emotion out at the time. I was blocked off and sealed tighter thena drum.So what choice do you have but to end it, it wouldn't be fair to either person if you didn't.

I am angry, upset, hurt, and it sucks to loose a friend. Sex and emotion got in the way of a good friendship, so how can you avoid this? Is there a way, that a man and women can just be friends having sex? What are the rules? Are there rules?

In my mind, I think that if you are sleeping with someone else on a regular basis, that it is common courtesy to inform them if you plan on sleeping with other people. Then allow them to make up there minds if they want to continue the sex, or to stop it. I mean lets do the math, Sally sleeps with Jim, Jim sleeps with Sarah, Sarah sleeps with the entire football team. This now means that Sally has slept with Jim, Sarah, and the entire football team, and didn't even know it. Make sense???? Doesn't it seem like logic to think that you should tell your friends with benefits the score??? Not that this girl did sleep around, it just kind of goes along with the topic. I just don't understand the rules of this topic.

PLUS! I feel like a schmuck, cause I can't take this any farther then what it is. As she says, she feels like a piece of meat, well I feel like I made her that piece of meat. That makes me feel like shit, the only thing that saves me, is that I told her from day one that I was not ready, and didn not want a relationship. Even with the disclaimer, let me tell you, you still feel like an ass!!!

Was it worth it.....????? Nope, I would take all the sex, back, all the kissing, and cuddling and all back just too be a freind again. Just to know that I didn't hurt this person, cause I do feel responsible. Its funny, but I was once told that Friends last forever, but lovers come and go. Well I have friends that I have had forever, but I have never had a lover stick around that long. Why didn't I think of this before????

Where do you go now? I am too nice of a guy to do one night stands and be an asshole to women. I just don't work that way anymore. I don't want a commitment, but I want to have fun with a female, I want honesty, respect, mutual understanding, with out all the bull shit and drama of a relationship. Perfection?? Maybe, is it out there?? I hope so! Can't we just ditch the titles, and live one day at a time, enjoy each other, not worry about what other people think, or all the other bull shit that clouds our minds. If we want to sleep with other people, lets talk about it and make a decision, if we wanna fuck others together, fine agian lets make a decisoion........ So can you have a relationship, with out the commitment, with out the title???? Just be freinds, respect each other, hang out..... its not just about sex. Its about connecting.

As you can tell my mind is gargled, I have a million questions and not one answer. I kinda feel like this BLOG is feminine in a way, turst me I am laughing at myself on the inside for writitng this. I just don't understand why everyone has to be in a hurry??? Who cares about money??? Is money more important then happiness? I mean what is wrong with metting a women that is happy working 60 hours a week and making 6 figures, them me working some shit job for $8 an hours. As long as the happiness is there, isn't that what is important????

Everyone seems to want a "title," a "status," for what???? What good does it do us? Is that what really makes you happy??? I am seeing this girl, and we have fun, and play, and whatever, but I am going to break it off, cause I don't have a title??? Give me a break!!!

Well that is my gargled babble for the day. I don't need milk! GOT ANSWERS???


veryhornylilbit 43M/44F

4/3/2006 10:20 am

77...Friends with benefits does work, but ...and heres the big key...all parties have to be honest from the get go. You say you were honest about what you were looking for but ask yourself was she?? And did you know in your heart of hearts that she wasn't being honest?? You are right this is a sex site, not a happily ever after site...but to assume that people don't come here looking for love in all the wrong places is just plain naive. People go to bars looking for love don't they..even though they know that most of the other people there are just looking for a good time. I've had friends with benefits many times in my life and I still see them now and again and even though we no longer have the benefits we are still great friends.


redhot4cock 58F

9/15/2006 11:07 pm

I've had a few friends w/bennies that are still friends without the bennies. This can work but as was said before...but all parties must be equally and painfully honest. The problem lies in the fact that we want to be attracted to our FB, we want to connect with our FB, but we don't want to become emotionally involved with our FB. This can be impossible for some women, (and some men) you must know who you are, what you really want and be willing to share what's going on inside of you at all times. I've heard of more women falling in love with their FB and then being hurt because their feelings weren't returned. It is a tightrope that must be crossed very carefully...but can be done successfully.

Redhot


rm_umok1976 41F
2 posts
7/19/2007 12:18 am

yes it works, honesty is key and u have to pick the right female, hahaha.


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