Signals )))))  

74ShovelHD 54M
48 posts
6/14/2005 9:02 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Signals )))))

In this wonderful blogging world of honesty...I am curious to know what everyone thinks about the signals we send out...based on some experiencese I had earlier tonight.

When does being friendly cross over with coming on to someone??? When does a friendly gesture become a sexual gesture??? Do we flirt for fun or are we purposely trying to seduce each other?

And finally, when we are attracted to someone, can we consiously control the signals we send out?

wyvernrose 39F  
3962 posts
6/14/2005 9:35 pm

hmmmmmm a difficult question...when there is a wink and a nod included lol hmmmmm no idea im not a touchy person so....for me the distiction is definately there...bit of both...hmmmmmm that's the tough one we can try but rarely successfully


rm_bella_ 48F
4030 posts
6/14/2005 9:47 pm

I think it is different for everyone..its all interpretation rather than a black and white answer.

rm_txrose4uNTX 58F
3289 posts
6/14/2005 10:11 pm

A lot of the online blogging is done in good fun and jest; if something more intimate is considered, then one takes it "off line" (meaning IM or AFFmail that someone to see if there is additional interest.

I had one guy interested in me online through the blogging...we took it offline and dated for a little more than a month. He took offense to what another of my blogfans had said to him... so he stopped blogging and or commenting on my site any more. Truly, I don't think that the other blogfan truly meant what he said in the context that the guy I ended up dating for a bit took it. Oh, well.

We are all friends first on the blogsite.... some of the AFFbloggers have probably been intimate with one another before blogging through the AFFblogsite because the AFFblogsite didn't exist until February of this year.....

I am not sure what the other AFFmembers who are blogging will suggest to you, but (speaking from my own experience) take the romance off line for the most part. Too many emotions flare up unnecessarily unless they are extremely mature about it.

Sometimes the bantering with someone can be just as stimulating as if you were having sex with them at times. If you are sincerely interested in someone that you have been bantering with and feel that connection, it is easier to take it offline to discuss whether or not there is anything more to it and set the signals straight.

Enjoy and have fun with the blogging... It can be quite interesting, stimulating for the mind and soul, and -- who knows, you might find the interaction with that special someone a great possibility for a worthwhile connection for now or in the future....

Good luck....


007sexy40plus 52F  
7603 posts
6/14/2005 11:16 pm

Being here in this forum, we are automatically inclined to believe that things here will be sexual in nature. So I don't think that the friendliness will cross over, I think the ideas are already present, but is kept under control until they are made obvious.

Friendly gestures becomes sexual when you wink, add to hotlist, and give sexual compliments(i,e. damn baby you are fine) things such as that indicates there is not just friendly things going on, there is sexual tension being handed over.

I think we flirt because we know that we have that something which will attract the opposite sex. flirting in itself is fun, and there are times when we purposely try to seduce someone, usually its because we know we can.

And lastly, I answer that question with yes, we can control those signals. Some of us have a built in mechanism that SPEAKS to us and say "ok I am moving to fast," "slow down and go with the flow." If there is a strong attraction to an individual, we sometimes want to just jump right in and claim them but consciously we have to say, "it's not time".

As bella says its all interpretation. Some of us see things the way we want to see them. From day one we are taught that "opposites attract" It is how we are trained to live from birth.

I hope that made sense.

I am the real deal! "Come Get Me!!!"

74ShovelHD 54M

6/15/2005 7:45 am

Thanks for all the replies...

I guess I was thinking more in the "real world" vs. here on AdultFriendFinder (although, that's another one to think about). When you see someone at a party, function or even work, whether it's a smile, a touch, or just playful flirting, everyone interprets things differently.

I was hoping to flush out where the line is, but I think, as some of you have stated, there is no line, it's all gray, unless you go with the black and white approach mentioned by Licklover.

rm_txrose4uNTX 58F
3289 posts
6/15/2005 8:17 am

Guess my head was swarming with the AFFblogs!!! I have done the same thing for fun as licklover has done. It is interesting the responses... even a simple, "Well, Hello!" can get some varied responses. I am a friendly person and don't hesitate to say "Hi!", but some are truly offended if you do. I want to go to them and say, "Loosen up, will ya! Life's certainly much too short!!"....

The best way to "flush out" where the line is.... is to continue the conversation. If you are lucky and the conversation continues, you know that you haven't crossed their limitations (just yet anyways)......If you are not so lucky, well you can either push the conversation at a differing angle or move on!!

Communication is the key and foundation to discoveries. Enjoy the discovery process!!

purejoy4fem 47F/45F
682 posts
6/15/2005 12:33 pm

In blogland, everyone flirts with everyone else, to get to where the rubber meets the road, send an e-mail.

Barbiebunny69 44F

6/22/2005 12:09 am

yup purejoys got it..make the move

pussnboots694 74M/79F

6/28/2005 6:57 pm

We all flirt it is human nature..
Only you can know how far is to far
What is right or wrong for you in that exact moment
What limitations or rules you have set for yourself..
In my experiences most people do not let go... they flirt but are unable to give themselves completely, possibly for fear of crossing the line? I guess that would depend on each individual and there situation.

Life is to be experienced..if you stop looking at the other sex, and did not flirt, you are robbing yourself of one of life's greatest pleasure, that are free in life, we are born to love....

How far is to far??
I live on the edge.....

1586 posts
7/7/2005 4:08 pm

I guess you can say that I "target flirt" as opposed to being a general one.

If I feel really comfortable with someone (online or otherwise), then I feel safe about doing it.

I don't do it with anyone that I don't really know for fear that I'll send out the wrong message.

There have been instances where people thought I was flirting with them when I was just being nice, so as LickLover says, it's pretty much in the eye of the receiver.

rm_lucytart 51F
590 posts
7/28/2005 12:07 pm

>>when we are attracted to someone, can we consiously control the signals we send out?

Apparently, I give the wrong kind of signals. Always have. When I was a newly minted adult, I had the misadventure of having a co-worker hit on me. I was also newly married, and had NO intention of giving signals to him. Most of the folks I worked with were men, he was just one of them. I was just normally friendly. Or so I thought.

One of those co-workers said often, "I'm married, not dead!" He's right. There's nothing wrong with looking. That isn't infidelity.

OK, enough random thoughts for today. I need to shower and get something done.

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