Retro-fit penis.  

634694u 47M
257 posts
11/23/2005 5:57 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Retro-fit penis.

In the never ending cycle of boy meets girl, wouldn't it be cool if a woman, once she chose a man to exchange naked pleasantries with, could actually choose his dick? An "after-market upgrade" we'll call it. As always in my questionnaires, there is a catch! You can only choose from the below listed specimens, and no, you may not use it on yourself if you are in a state of hating every man on earth right now.

1) Three feet long, 1/4" diameter. I like this idea! A woman could bend or fold it into any length or thickness she craved. Duct tape included with this model. -manufacturer not responsible for damage or mental anguish of any kind once installed.

2) Seven inches long, three inch thick, velvet smooth specimen of true manhood attached to asteroid-like testicles.

3) Twelve inches long, two and a half inches thick and tied into a knot-this item not measured in linear inches.

4) Three inches long, 1/2" thick and tattooed like a twenty dollar bill so that you can brag to your friends that you enjoy blowing all of his money.

5) A pussy for those ladies that prefer lesbian activity but have heavy furniture and shit to move around.

6) One inch long, four inches thick. The "puck"
as it's known here at Dick's boner boutique.

7) Six inches thick, two and a half inch diameter perfect penis equipped with two small arms,hands and nimble fingers for those times when a little reach-around is desired without hurting your man's lower back. Manufacturer not responsible for pulled pubic hair or damage behind, around or on purchaser's ears, fingers in asses or any other awkward or damaging activity that human hands can commit to.

The three headed snake. Size and shape may vary based on sales area. Manufacturer not responsible for shit on this one!

9) The bronco! No specifications required.

10) The masturbater-this unit will satisfy your man while you are out finding another playmate.

Well folks, that's all we have in the showroom until Christmas so, did you find one you like?

see ya.

LustGoddess2469 51F  
2453 posts
11/23/2005 6:32 pm

I'll take a Number 2, please.


634694u 47M

11/23/2005 6:47 pm

Good to hear from you Lusty. I'd gift wrap it but the nuts tend to tear the paper!

LustGoddess2469 51F  
2453 posts
11/23/2005 7:04 pm

What? No bubble wrap? lol


frbnkslady 49F
6183 posts
11/23/2005 7:06 pm

LOL.. the bronco please.. Cowboy up.. T


Synn74 43F
1206 posts
11/23/2005 9:09 pm

ummmm one #9 that's wrapped in tight ass jeans I'll pay extra

I welcome you to the House of Syn...

PrincessKarma 44F
6188 posts
11/23/2005 9:16 pm

I want some of whatever you're smoking....

The Big Bang was the mother of all orgasms.PrincessKarma

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