The 'E' Words...  

49AK 56M
1074 posts
3/9/2006 7:18 pm

Last Read:
3/19/2006 10:05 am

The 'E' Words...

I love that new friendship feeling... exciting, energetic, erotic... all those 'E' words.

Another one of those 'E' words -- Expectation -- comes along with all of that. What is your expectation when you meet someone new for the first time? When you meet someone on here, from AdultFriendFinder, there is this certain underlying understanding about why you're here in the first place, and it is almost impossible to erase that part of expectation from your mind. Lets face it, you want to get laid, and even if you keep your expectations low, you can't keep it so low that you won't be just a little disappointed if you don't get it.

The thing that gets me about MY expectation is the possibility of telegraphing that expectation to the other person. The last thing I want someone to think is that I am a horndog just looking to get some. In fact, I am totally not about that at all. However, I often worry about the other person confusing my desire for a single-mindedness about sex.

The other side of expectation is setting a standard that the other person can't meet. I probably read a half dozen blogs today from people who either had high expectations of the people the were to meet (Why aren't there any good looking, thin gals on here?) or were lamenting that other people's expectations were too high (Why is it that so many people expect Barbie on here?). The problem with that is that it effectively creates a filter that prevents you from even meeting or spending time with people that you perceive to be outside your interest zone.

I have an old friend that is about my age, and he was a virgin into his 40's, in a large part because he set a standard for women that was so high that nobody could possibly meet it. On one hand, that seems to be rather noble, if you're actually looking for someone that is good enough for you (by your standards). However, often your expectations and standards are so high or unrealistic that they only serve to make you unhappy. I even think that the possibility exists that one could even not really understand what your standards are, and you end up just rejecting everyone in the name of finding the perfect person.

Expectations are important to me because I might be meeting someone that I started chatting with a while back, and we drifted apart for a while, but we've recently started chatting again. I'm hoping to see her soon, and I find myself examining my expectations, and trying to interpret hers. I want to keep mine low and realistic, so as not to end up disappointed. At the same time, I think about her expectations, and the chances that I'll meet hers...

I guess we'll see.

angelofmercy5 60F
17881 posts
3/9/2006 8:14 pm

I guess it is pretty stressful thinking about living up to someone else's expectations...and vice versa. I hope your meeting goes great!

mangomamiCT 43F

3/10/2006 10:27 pm

Hi my name is AK and I DO NOT want to have sex with you yet , but check back in little while . lol

good luck

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