So, What You're Really Saying Is...  

49AK 56M
1074 posts
4/7/2006 12:53 am

Last Read:
12/26/2008 4:06 pm

So, What You're Really Saying Is...

I don't do this very often. I was browsing my recent matching profiles, and came across a woman that seemed interesting. Unlike a lot of women, there was actually a lot of text in her profile, and I read the whole thing. I liked it enough to write a moderately substantial email to her. I also attached a photo and a copy of my profile.

When I got home and logged in, I had a reply from her. It was a quick reply, basically saying that she wasn't interested. The thing that gets me about it was not that she wasn't interested, but rather that she couldn't be bothered to actually type the sentence that she sent me as a quick reply. I took the time to write something. Admittedly it probably took me five minutes, but it was sincere, and I actually put some thought into it.

The message I get when I get one of these quick replies is, "You are wasting my time, and my time is more valuable than yours." Perhaps that should be on the quick reply list; it might be a bit more honest.

I don't think anyone is served by those quick replies. I know that I would feel better about it with having the exact same words typed out by hand than chosen out of a pull-down menu. I think I would even feel better getting nothing at all. At least then you can imagine that AdultFriendFinder lost it, or something.

pragmaticCTcpl 62M/51F

4/7/2006 9:21 am

I always type a response. I have never used the quick response option. I think I would only use those If I had thousands of emails a respond to. Sorry... about your experience.

49AK replies on 4/7/2006 9:49 am:
I am very pragmatic about the whole thing... it isn't that she's not interested -- I don't take that kind of rejection personally, especially since I am sure she gets a fair amount of mail. But how many keystrokes does it take to type "Thanks, but I am not interested?" (The answer is 32)

Its like getting flipped off in traffic, or having someone cut in front of you at the grocery store.

rm_PurryKitty2 49M/51F
9753 posts
4/7/2006 9:31 am

You know sweetie, I haven't used the quick replies, but thought about it and am glad that I just read this so I can understand how someone would feel receiving one. I certainly won't use them now, but I do have to tell you that it is hard to know what to say to someone when you are not interested because I worry about hurting their feelings or coming off like I am snotty or something. For the most part, if I am not interested, I dont reply. If someone compliments me, I do try to say thank you. However, there are a lot of aggressive people out there and I dont want my reply to make them think I am playing hard to get, ya know? Also, emails are so hard to interpret because you can't hear the voice reflection.

Honestly, I would take this and move on and don't be offended.

Who loves ya baby? You know I do

Purry {=}


49AK replies on 4/7/2006 9:51 am:
I know you do, sweetie... thanks for the support!

see ya!

aascrompn 43M
6444 posts
4/7/2006 10:13 am

I actually got my first one of those just last week! LOL

EroticaXTC 51F

4/7/2006 4:57 pm

I emailed some of my friends on here...and got the autoreply, LOL!!!!!
Don't take it too personally, some people get loads of email....
and me...well I'm not here to match up, so I turned my profile off...
so no one wastes their time and hope on me...

rm_smosmof2 68M
3240 posts
4/8/2006 1:10 pm

Under most circumstances, I'd agree with you, though I think I prefer a quick response to nothing. I did use a quick response the first week I was here when I got pitched at by a gay guy. I sent back the "I'm only interested in women." reply.

seemed reasonable to me at the time. Still does. I'd expect about the same if I pitched at a woman who's only looking for other women. But I have to admit, some of those women are real babes, and I'd like to at least pay them a compliment. Oh well, what's one more when you look like that to begin with.

49AK replies on 4/8/2006 4:34 pm:
well, my point is this:

What is the practical difference to the sender in the amount of time that it takes to type:

"I'm only interested in women"
compared to pulling it off a menu?

The difference in the perception of the recipient is huge... At least for me. One is being courteous and the other is being lazy.

saddletrampsk 55F

4/10/2006 10:58 pm

I have used the quick reply..guilty guilty..but after your post I won't..I guess I didnt realize it could cause some hurt feelings..and I am not about that..sorry she hurt you sweety..

bipolybabe 56F

4/12/2006 2:17 pm

I've used quick reply because I get emails from guys in Spain, Hell-A, Timbuktu, who knows. My answer is "I prefer local relationships." I actually do want to fuck, but I like to know a bit about the person before I spread my legs. There's too much pressure if he's traveling just to meet me. I hate pressure when it comes to sex, except that perfect pressure against my G-spot...

Oops, forgot where I was. Yes, I hate pressure. I don't want to meet guys from out of town and do a one-nighter. That's all there is to it.


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