Not knowing  

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1074 posts
1/2/2006 4:54 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Not knowing

There are a lot of flavors of not knowing.

When you're expecting a phone call from a loved-one, and it doesn't come... Are they OK?? Are they busy?? Your mind races between wanting to shake them and say, "Do you know how worried I was about you?" and totally letting go, and knowing completely that they are OK and everything is OK. Or not knowing if she's mad at you, or if she wants you to invite her to dinner.

There's the not knowing that you do to other people. The nice gift you've gotten for her. The surprise party you're planning. That nagging problem that you take care of, rather than sharing it with your partner. That telemarketer that you hang up on while she's in the bathroom. Its not that I advocate secrets, especially dark ones, but we all have some flavors of them, too.

There's the not knowing you'll never know... like what would have happened if I had done this differently? What would it be like to go to dinner with that person? What is it like to be President of the United States?

I wonder how we actually function with all the things we don't know...

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