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1074 posts
2/22/2006 11:23 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm


In my professional and academic careers, the concept of gender and power has come up a number of times. To distill it down to a massive over-simplification (WARNING! What follows is just ONE way to look at it, not THE way to look at it, and as I said, it is an over-simplification), a female view of power might be that in American society, men have money, power and influence that women do not have, and a male view of power might be that women hold most of the sexual cards -- It is mostly the men who are pursuing, and the women who are deciding who they do and do not sleep with.

If we adopt this male view as the perspective from which I proceed, I am a bit annoyed with a certain phenomenon. Imagine being in a situation where a woman flirts, leads you on, etc. in order to achieve some goal; perhaps it is a drink at a bar, perhaps it is to get you to take her to her favorite concert, perhaps to have you lift something heavy. It seems to me that if (as a man) you're aware of this, then maybe you should immediately be suspicious.

That's not to say that when you find a nice gal, you shouldn't offer to move those ten bags of mulch to her back yard, or take her nice places -- You absolutely should, and you probably want to, too! That also isn't to say that the more shallow of us wouldn't be aware of it, and trade sex for chores, or whatever; I am not so naive as to think that doesn't happen all the time.

It has happened to me a number of times in the recent past, and I have found myself a bit angry about it. There is certainly something basic and animal about sex, but I want the negotiation to be a bit higher up Maslow's hierarchy than the bottom step or two.

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