Looking back at love - part 2  

46DorianGray2 35M
26 posts
6/29/2005 7:07 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Looking back at love - part 2

A few girlfriends later . . .

My first college girlfriend.

I'm skipping those that came in between (forgive the pun) because it just feels right to. After all, I wouldn't want to divulge too much of my love life.

But this one bears writing about.

She was a southern cutie with a big ole booty (on an atheltic frame, no less), eyes like fire, and a smile that would disarm a terrorist.

My god, she was beautiful.

And we just couldn't help but fall for each other. That's what makes this so painful.

There are times in life when love comes at us full charge and doesn't give us a choice. You either surrender or . . . surrender. This was one of those times.

And she was great. We were great.

there were times that I thought there was nothing she wouldn't do for me. And I for her.

Looking back . . . I say forget the doubt I expressed in my earlier post. This was love. It had to be.

but there was one thing about her that my young and (at the time) insecure male mind could not get around:

She hardly ever got wet. Actually "stayed" would be the more accurate word.

There were times I'd eat her out for half an hour (which I usually do for my GFs, I just like to) and she'd be soaking wet, but by the time I got to penetration, she'd be dry. I couldn't understand it. Neither could she (but assured me it had always been that way).

We still had great sex. used plenty of lube (which she was very knowledgable about). And things were fine for a few months.

But it fucked with me. I'd never had such a problem before. I took it personally. I thought it was because I really didn't do it for her (which was stupid, she initiaited sex as often, maybe more than, I did). It drove me crazy.

When I'm with a woman. My goal is not ejaculation.
I want to tantalize, arouse, and satisfy over and over again. I want to be the best she's ever had. The pleasure I derive from sex is in direct proportion to the pleasure that I give.

So it kinda put a whole jynx on the whole thing.

Eventually I (or my ego. I was 19, after all) couldn't handle it anymore. I couldn't stand the thought of not being able to get and keep her wet. Of not being able to turn her on as easily as I had all those before her.

I don't really remember how it ended. But I do remember that towards the end, it plagued me constantly. It drove me crazy. Crazy enough to end it.

I sometimes wonder what kind of person that made me.

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