Jokes  

1LovelyBrunette 42F
313 posts
7/10/2006 8:30 pm

Last Read:
7/22/2006 6:20 pm

Jokes


I've been up till really late the past 2 days reading blogs I havent read in a while and I swore to myself I'd be in bed tonight by 10:00 at the latest... well its past 11 now and I've been entertained reading blogs. I had a few things in the back of my mind I've been thinking about posting but I'll have to leave it for some other time. For tonight I'll leave you with some jokes, mainly for us women, to bask in our glory and celebrate the blessing mother nature has bestowed upon us of being the naturally born wise and prudent creatures we are. OK anyway, here ya go...

A cowboy walked into a drug store in Texas and asked to talk to a male pharmacist.

The woman he was talking to said that she was the only pharmacist and as she and her sister owned the store, there were no males employed there.

She then asked if she could help him.

The cowboy said that it was something that he would be much more comfortable discussing with a male pharmacist. The female pharmacist assured him that she was completely professional and whatever it was that he needed to discuss, he could be confident that she would treat him with the highest level of professionalism.

The cowboy then agreed and began by saying, "This is tough for me to discuss, but I have a permanent erection. It causes me a lot of problems and severe embarrassment, and I was wondering what you could give me for it."

The pharmacist said, "Just a minute, I'll talk to my sister."

When she returned, she said, "We discussed it at length and the absolute best we can do is as follows:

1/3 ownership in the store, a company pickup truck, and $3,000 a month living expenses."

Yee Haw, ride 'em cowboy


The Inheritance

When John found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died, he decided he needed a woman to enjoy it with.

So one evening he went to a singles bar where he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her natural beauty took his breath away.

"I may look like just an ordinary man," he said as he walked up to her, but, in just a week or two, my father will die, and I'll inherit 20 million dollars."

Impressed, the woman went home with him that evening and, three days later, she became his stepmother.


Sally was driving home from one of her business trips in Northern Arizona when she saw an elderly Navajo woman walking on the side of the road. As the trip was a long and quiet one, she stopped the car and asked the Navajo woman if she would like a ride. With a silent nod of thanks, the woman got into the car.

Resuming the journey, Sally tried in vain to make a bit of small talk with the Navajo woman. The old woman just sat silently, looking intently at everything she saw, studying every little detail, until she noticed a white bag on the seat next to Sally.

"What in bag?" asked the old woman.
Sally looked down at the white bag and said, "It's a box of chocolates. I got it for my husband."

The Navajo woman was silent for another moment or two. Then speaking with the quiet wisdom of an elder, she said:

"Good trade."


These were all given to me by a guy friend because he thought they were funny

docdirk 49M

7/10/2006 9:02 pm

I have to hurry, I promised myself that I would be asleep by 11:00 and ... oh shit!

Stepmother. That's silly.

Ah, Its you again, Your Angel Feathers and your Blood Stains...


1LovelyBrunette replies on 7/12/2006 6:41 pm:
i promised myself I'd be in bed by 10 today, oh shit, its 9:40 already, better go brush my teeth

Phuc_Buddy 47M

7/11/2006 10:48 am

LOL...great jokes Lovely. In bed by 10pm who the hell are you kidding. I'm glad I get home by then.


1LovelyBrunette replies on 7/12/2006 6:36 pm:
wooo, why so late? I dont envy you. Well, unfortunately, 10 is my ideal time to go to bed, but it hasnt happened in a long time I keep trying though. Today might just be the day!!! Im going to sleep after I finish respnding to the guests here.

rm_Robert82363 54M
1 post
7/12/2006 12:21 am

Great jokes anyone who can't laugh at themselves or thier gender is taking life too seriously.


1LovelyBrunette replies on 7/12/2006 6:37 pm:
You're very right!! and for that good comment I'll post another joke I was sent today...

rm_alotofPlzr4U 107M

7/14/2006 10:57 am

always fun when you have a joke blog going LB....

A guy walks INTO a psychiatrist's office covered only in Saran Wrap. He says to the doctor, "I've felt so weird lately, Doc, can you tell me what's wrong?"

The doctor replied, "Well, I can clearly see your nuts!"


rm_alotofPlzr4U 107M

7/14/2006 10:57 am

A man at a retirement home was walking around with his zipper down holding his penis.

A young nurse says "Why are you doing that?"

He replies, "It died today."

"Oh that's terrible!", the nurse replied

The next day the man has his penis hanging outside of his pants again.

The same nurse says, "I thought it died yesterday."

The man replies, "It did. Today is the viewing"


1LovelyBrunette replies on 7/15/2006 9:51 am:
LOL, this one's pretty funny. Thanks for sharing.

rm_alotofPlzr4U 107M

7/16/2006 5:55 am

Morning LB.....

One for you to start your day!

A couple were married and, following the wedding, the husband laid down some rules. "I'll be home when I want, if I want, and at what time I want," he insisted. "And, I don't expect any hassle from you. Also, I expect a decent meal to be on the table every evening, unless I tell you otherwise. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing, and card-playing with my buddies whenever I want. Those are my rules," he said. "Any comments?" His new bride replied, "No, that's fine with me. But, just understand that there'll be sex here at seven o'clock every night... whether you're here or not."


rm_alotofPlzr4U 107M

7/21/2006 6:28 am

Some Friday Humor????

A man enters a restaurant and while sitting at his table, notices a gorgeous woman sitting at another table, alone. He calls the waiter over and asks for the most expensive bottle of champagne to be sent over to her knowing that if she accepts it, she is his.

The waiter gets the bottle and quickly sends it over to the girl, saying this is from the gentleman. She looks at the champagne and decides to send a note to the man. The note read: "For me to accept this bottle, you need to have a Mercedes in your garage, $1 million in liquid assets, and 7 inches in your pants."

Well, the man, after reading this note, sends one of his own back to her and it read: "Just so you know -- I happen to have TWO Mercedes in my garage, I have well over $2 million in assets, but not even for YOU, would I cut off 2 inches! Send the bottle back."


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