How To Shower  

1LovelyBrunette 42F
313 posts
5/28/2006 8:48 pm

Last Read:
10/11/2006 7:22 pm

How To Shower

How To Shower Like a Woman:

Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.

Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

Look at your womanly physique in the mirror make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.

Get in the shower Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide oofah and pumice stone.

Wash your hair once with cucumber and
sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.

Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean. Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced.

Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.

Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.

Rinse conditioner off hair.

Shave armpits and legs.

Turn off shower. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex.

Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.

Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.

Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

How To Shower Like a Man:

Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.

Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the 'woo-hoo' sound.

Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your ass.

Get in the shower. Wash your face. Wash your armpits.

Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.

Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.

Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.

Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.

Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. Pee.

Rinse off and get out of shower. Partially dry off. Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole

Admire wiener size in mirror again.

Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.

Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the 'woo-hoo' sound again.

Throw wet towel on bed.

If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something so very wrong with you.

manextraordinare 42M

5/28/2006 9:50 pm

HA HA HA i don't get it...

so you can see my fascination with watching a woman shower. i mean if you had to watch one or the other based on that description who would you pick?

i don't have any mirrors in the house that are low enough to admire my wiener size. humm maybe that's what this place is missing or i could just find a girl with a 4 post victorian bed with a mirror above it...hint hint....

1LovelyBrunette replies on 5/29/2006 8:59 am:
well I guess thats one more thing to add to your list:

as far as the bed goes, still not built. I've seen gorgeous victorian iron beds on the web for about $5,000 bucks, can you believe it?! with no mirror, what a rip off!!

HornsNewsyBesot 52M

7/2/2006 1:02 pm

Glad I read this before showering today. Turning over a new leaf . . .will only admire wiener on the way out of the shower, lol.
Thanks for the laugh

1LovelyBrunette replies on 7/5/2006 8:27 pm:
LOL, thats funny. Yes, admire only once, its enough.

rm_VaTaz 45M
1 post
9/28/2006 8:46 pm

That was funny as hell ... maybe you oughta come join me in a shower for an all new experience. You won't be disappointed.

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