EbonyHnk 38M
178 posts
6/1/2006 5:44 am

Last Read:
6/14/2006 10:45 pm

"Many people have gone further than they imagined they could because somebody else thought they could."

Dear Reader,

I am saddened by your pain, but know it will be better for you.

Dreams are just a reflection of our thought process. They are the “on-board movies” our mind play as it stores our memories from the previous and day and organize our coming day. You are right though that they are ruining your day when you wake. I can also relate since I suffered the same affliction.

I use to think dreams were predicting my future. I saw every vehicle accident that I ever had in a dream on the previous night. Problem was I also had other horrible dreams with other accidents that never came true. For something to be true it must be absolute. So I wondered if my dreams were actually setting me up for bad things to happen. That was a far greater predictor, since my life at the time was in shambles. So then I realized, I have to get in front of the dreams. Change my thoughts and the reflection would change. I will never forget that night…since it was the first night I laughed in my sleep. I awoke completely changed….as if I was born again.

So this dream is not telling you something you don’t already know….it is just reflecting the pain you are already feeling. Now I cannot tell you what you need in your life, but I can tell you who can provide those necessities‒YOU. You can only control your thoughts and thus, you are the only one who can control your life. The reason is because everyone of us has a unique combination of experiences that make us a different as snowflakes. And our physical world is only a result of our thought process….How can you have a good day, after waking up to such disappointment….I know exactly how it feels.

Now, in situations like this you need to take emergency corrective action. So put aside thoughts of a soul mate for right now, just know that you have one and will be with him shortly. Depression is a vicious cycle that needs to be broken, because it is based on momentum and will sometimes snowball into larger problems. However, the opposite is also true. Happiness will also snowball to bring you every dream you seek to fulfill.

So now take baby steps to turn it around. If you can spend some quiet time thinking about the “abundance” in your life. I know you are concentrating on what is missing, but this is the problem. You may struggle at first, but I am sure you have 2 reasons for joy‒your wonderful gift of life. Even if you have to be thankful for the air you breathing…it is focusing your thoughts on the positive things in your life. This may sound crazy, but it actually doing the opposite of what started your depression in the first place. Instead of thinking of loss…think of abundance. Try to do this as many times a day as possible at first, but at the very least, 3 times a day. When you wake, mid-day and before going to bed. Before going to bed, you may want to reflect on a written list that you can compile….you have to think of abundance before going to sleep to break that dream cycle. Now the list is yours and I know it may be hard at first, but it is crucial to turning it around. Every time, you feel frustrated and lonely‒stop yourself and correct the thought to a positive one. Just as you may discipline a child, you are disciplining your mind to think as it should. Remember you are in control.

You also need to reward yourself. Take time for yourself and do something that you need. Mothers especially, can often run around making everyone else happy and never take care of themselves. It is not selfish. It is actually a crucial part of your well-being….Plus the healthier and happier you are, the more good you can do for others. Now, not sure what your interests are or what your financial situation is, but this often can be done with little to no money at all. Loose yourself in a book. Build a craft or project. Write a story or poetry. Draw or Paint. Release that creative energy so it attracts more joy into your life. Also it gives you purpose and sense of accomplishment. It gets your mind off your problems and allows you to think of the joys of being alive.

You have to stay away from negative influences and replace them with positive ones. I would turn the TV off. Unfortunately, there are not many positive shows. Maybe watch a comedy or an educational program. Definitely not the news. Music is also another powerful tool. Is your music upbeat and positive or depressing? I actually had incredible results listening to classical music for a while. But the hardest is separating from negative people. You will have to decide who you still want in your life, but if they are family you may want to limit their access to you till you feel better and can better deal with their negativism. Listen to what the people around you are saying…Is it pulling you further down? Are they speaking of their own problems? Right now you have to correct your own momentum and need to take control of the situation. Once you are better, you can deal with influences such as this. But for now it better to distance yourself from them.

As you begin to feel better and more thankful, you can then go back and address the problems with your partner. I am not familiar with the circumstances of your relationship, but you mentioning that you were young when you met him I will guess you did not have many, if any, relationships before him. Often times what you are feeling right now only stems from fear. You are afraid of being lonely. Afraid of the change your life has brought you. Afraid of the unknown. You have to combat this fear with every ounce of energy you have….fear is a great survival instinct, but most often it is a dream killer. Life is meant to be lived. Not to sit in a cave sheltered from every pain. Think of the life your children may have if they never pushed themselves and never fallen down here and there. Imagine learning to ride a bike or walking without falling. That is how we learn. It is a crucial part of the process. You need to capture that same lust for learning and life that children often have. Don’t be afraid of getting hurt. Just as learning to ride a bicycle, the pain is worth the experience of being able to ride.

I will tell you that the only thing that creates a soul mate relationship is commitment. I shutter to think you can trust a man that has left you in this situation . You are better off without him and will have a better more deserving man shortly in the future….How do I know? Because you are trying to fix the problem…You found my blog while searching for answers. You are done with saying “woe is me.” You want to make this better. As long as you keep up your pursuit and most importantly‒believe you can find the answers, you are guaranteed to find them. But you must believe that they are within your grasp. There is no such thing as coincidences. What you are thinking will always manifest itself into your reality…Good or Bad.

You do however need to forgive this person for doing what he has to you. Anger and resentment only feeds a bad memory. Putting more energy towards these bad experience only perpetuate more of them and they are manifesting themselves in your dreams and life. That is often why we wind up finding themselves in the same relational problems over and over again. It is because we have not learned from the mistakes of the past. At the very least you cannot be resentful of a teacher. He may be your savior when he released you to find an incredible, fulfilling soul mate relationship. And I am sure you can also continue to love him because of the wonderful children he and you have created. That energy is also passed to your children. You do not want them to grow up resentful of their father, not matter what he has done to them. The problem will continue to haunt them if you do not effectively deal with this now. It will also be incredible lesson to them to be resilient and never give up on life, no matter what it may deal you.

I mentioned trust and love above but in a different context. Trust is something you can only give to someone that is special to you and has in turned given you their trust in return. Trust is earned. You can love everyone. Love life, love all it has to offer “good and bad.” You can love people that hurt you, and you must to release better things in your life. Every religion preaches forgiveness and love since it is part of the river of energy that we all flow in. Anger and resentment is only fighting the currents of that river. Flow with the current it you will be surprised how your “luck” changes. I would not be surprised if your soul mate will appear in your life with no effort on your part….and the timing will be precise. You will find him when you are “ready” to meet him. Now you must fix yourself since you may attract another broken heart. Don’t fear being alone. It is only temporary and you are never truly alone. You have people all around you that love you deeply and need you. Be strong for yourself and for them.

You are growing, and there is always pain involved with growing and learning. Watch your children and see how that it is just a part of the process. Smile and feel loved. Bask in what is only you and know that you cannot exist with out your complement. Rise above your problems and help the people around you. Be a beacon of light and set an example. As Nelson Mandela said once:

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God; your playing small doesn’t serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

Go out and be you. You are finally free to do so.

ArgosPlumyKooky 46F
3902 posts
6/1/2006 6:56 am

well said

EbonyHnk 38M

6/1/2006 8:19 am

Thanks - Welli figured, some of us need reality tenderly .. ( marshy murshy ) ! lol

moonfire2u 71F
2602 posts
6/10/2006 5:14 am

Wonderful post...

kind thoughts,

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