"Fifty bucks, grandpa. Seventy-five and the wife can watch!"

Firstly, Adult FriendFinder's ridiculous excuse for an instant messenger app no longer works on my PC, so don't get all pissy with me if I don't respond to your IMs.

Secondly, if I happen to click on your webcam, don't assume that I have the volume up on my speakers (or on your webcam window) and am intently listening to your big head speak (we are all there watching you, after all, to see the little head spew).

Oh, and if you are on your webcam and have your mic on with some badass, head-bangin' music blaring in the background while at the same time trying to hold a conversation with your minions, might I help you to understand, oh brilliant one, that most everyone turned the volume off on your cam window the minute it loaded.

If I'm watchin' a webcam, usually at the same time, I'm listening to my own music and reading. Looking up at hot guys parading their masculinity in front of their webcams is a fun distraction.

And if you're all uptight about WHO watches you on your webcam, might I also remind you that you CHOSE to broadcast yourself in all of your glory on a PUBLIC network. If you're intent on privacy. I'm just sayin'... This is your brain, and this is your brain on testosterone.

My Ideal Person: über hot and has a huge cock!

Also, LOVE to hook up with two open-minded / curious / bi guys and the three of us go at. I've got a big, black strap-on for those special occasions.

Also, I call BULLSHIT on this notion that every pubescent to adult female is curious / bi, but men are not! Uh...huh... Not what I'm reading in email from a large number of "straight" men on this site who email me to say that they're curious and want me to pound them with my big, black, rubber cock (especially the ones who have in big, capital letters all over their respective profile just how 100% straight they are -- riiiiiiaaaaaaaaaaght -- me thinks ye doth protest too much)!

Oh,and if you want me to lick snatch, you're going to pony up & suck some cock! Turn-about is, after all, fair play...

Finally, DO NOT send me email offering fifty bucks for sex! Your email will be deleted and you will be blocked! Catch a clue that it's a line from a movie, fuckwits!