younfunlover 40 / M
"Trying new things and having fun within the boundaries of not needlessly harming others"
San Diego (Bonita), California, United States
 
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Last Visit: More than 3 months
Member Since: August 2, 2012

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Status
younfunlover 40/M
San Diego (Bonita), California
Life is better when one is more concerned about loving others than impressing them... (me)
Introduction
Come check out my blog! I would love any input about it…

…..I have been a member of AdultFriendFinder for about 10 years now. I have only had two handles during that time. My original screen name was YOUNGFUNLOVER, but I was unable to use that handle when I moved and lost access to the email wo which it was tied. During these ten years I have been a member, my participation has been tenuous at best, but I am now making an effort to be a continuously active participant, versus a passive participant or an active observer, in hopes of discovering exactly what the potential rewards are. I know what they were when I first joined; I was invited to a few parties that were very exciting for myself as an individual who then had a very vanilla (if any flavor at all) sex life. It seems now, in the San Diego area at least, that there are fewer activities for the less established members, and few opportunities are allotted for even established members to venture out into new territories, i.e. become involved with new people and groups.

…..Most of my "friends" do not understand me. I do not fit the mold they perceived for me when we became friends (most of them I have known since elementary school) nor do I fit into what they currently perceive as viable roles for modern day society. I don't like to choose sides; doing so creates a greater possibility of their being a loser which is required for there to be a winner. This approach has not provided the results that are comfortable and acceptable for me. The entire practice of giving things labels bothers me as most seem to conclude upon an acceptable label simply to terminate any exploration or investigation based upon the assumption that the assigned label applies in all important and/or relative aspects. Some perceive me as shy because I am an introvert (observer) in many situations and environments. They are beyond shocked to see me transform into an extreme extrovert in other surroundings. Every situation and environment is different. I always assess things before acting… not to say that my assessments are accurate or appropriate, but that is just what I have discovered prevents fewer surprises and unforeseen negative consequences.. for ME. I was an appeaser in the past, often coming to the rescue of others, but tray its about me. I can't even do a descent job of saving others or keeping them away form harm if I do not take care of myself first. I found out that hard way that if I don't take an active role in my own well being, nobody will. When I have put a great deal of energy into another who is not investing any of their energies into either of us, we have both suffered.

…..I have an unconventional opinion about relationships: their natural life is about one to two decades. The person who played an important role can still be a part of my life, but if I force them to remain in the same role instead of letting them change to another, the relationship with them will have a very uncomfortable and ugly death. The end result begin that I do net get to be a part of the lives of many wonderful people I have met in my journeys. As some background, I dated my high school sweetheart's best friend for ten years beginning the summer after my freshman year in college. We were comfortable with each other and did not help each other push our limits in any facet of lie. We got married at a beautiful location in Coronado (San Diego, CA) after which we moved in together for the first time in our relationship. Needless to say, our marriage did not even last as long as our engagement. Today I think she still hates me, but I have no ill will towards her and hope that she finds true happiness in this life.

…..Since that relationship I have had a few serious "girlfriends" but they all seem to want me to be exclusive and dependable while they use me as a foundation to branch out in many ways they would not when they were "single." I now am of the viewpoint that I cannot be in any relationship where I am expected to live up to standards that are not shared by those with the expectations. At the same time, I have finally accepted that it is not fair for myself or anyone with me if I don't allow, or expect, them to live up to the standards by which I live, or secretly want to live. This is still an area of exploration for me, so I will likely have additions and amendments to this topic as I get more involved in my own life and experiences.

….I am all about making everyone feel great and remain comfortable at the same time. I am not about having people around that are a buzz kill, those days are over.

…..Today, 1/8/14, is the first time that I have taken some real time and effort to write something in the "Tell Others About Yourself" section of my profile. (this is evidenced by the paragraph just before this one, which was my entire description of me, though it does still hold true) This has taken more time and energy (actually thinking and looking deep into myself) than I had expected. I will add more (or make changes) later and hopefully be able to tell the world what my ideal person is once I figure out who I am.


My Ideal Person Someone who wants me and does not need me. Someone who goes about their day doing what they desire without fear of hurting me or me finding out. Someone who, when all is said and done, thinks about me at the end of the day/month/year with a desire that we share our failures and successes with one another.

What are your favorite musicians or bands?:
Claude Debussy

What types of sexual activities turn you on?:
Giving Oral Sex, Receiving Oral Sex, Anal Sex, Toys (Vibrators/Dildos/etc.), Fetishes, Light Bondage, Candle Wax, Spanking, Role Playing, Threesomes, Mutual Masturbation, Making Home "Movies", Participating in Erotic Photography, Voyeurism, Blindfolds, Leather, Latex, Massage

What factors are most important to you when looking for a sexual partner?:
Sexual experience, Ability to be discreet, Sexual appetite, Willingness to freely discuss and try anything, Agreeable to a commitment free sexual relationship, Creativity/Kinkiness level

Ever fantasized about having sex with a celebrity? Who? What turns you on about them?:
Who hash't?

Have you ever had cybersex?:
I've tried it, but it's just not the same.

View more of younfunlover's responses

Information
  • 40 / male
  • San Diego (Bonita), California, United States
Sexual Orientation:
Straight
Looking For:  Women, Couples (man/woman), Groups or Couples (2 women)
Birthdate: September 2, 1976
Travels to: San Diego, Ile de France, France
Hometown: San Diego, California, United States
Relocate?: Maybe/Yes
Marital Status: Divorced
Height: 5 ft 10 in / 177-180 cm
Body Type: Average
Smoking: I'm a non-smoker
Drinking: I don't drink at all
Drugs: I use some recreational drugs
Education: JD
Occupation: Music Teacher
Race: Caucasian
Religion: Spiritual
Have Children: No
Want Children: Maybe
Male Endowment: Average/Average
Circumcised: Yes
Speaks: English, Spanish, N/A
Hair Color: Brown
Hair Length: Short
Eye Color: Blue
Glasses or Contacts: Either
My Trophy Case: