as we go thru this life, we are always searching for something, someplace or someone. i was searching for all three. the journey that i have embarked on is a long and hard one. one that i am sure i can and will endure. one that will teach me the joys and sorrows of learning. [SIZE 2]may 5, 2006[/SIZE] i am brave. i broke the cycle of abuse. the one my father tried to pass on to me that he got from his parents. i endured a life of pain and hatred and kept fighting back. i have also fought and won against numerous health issues over the years. and as i keep telling everyone that has ever worried about me...i will be okay...i always am. and i have not lied to them yet. i have the strength to go after what i want out of this life. to keep working at it until i have reached my goal. i am wonderful. i am compassionate. i am there for others when they need me. i will listen as you bare your most inner thoughts and feelings. i will cry tears of joy and sorrow with you. i will rejoice with each milestone you pass in finding your happiness. i will be there for you and never judge you no matter how horrible you might think things are. i will take a part of you and hold it in my heart and cherish my friendship with you. i am not beautiful...of course i will stick with that one. i am not athletic or petite...can't argue with that one at all. i am not young...can't argue that one either. but then what is young? is it just age or a frame of mind? i am older, average looking, a large woman...nuff said i am submissive...yes. i am loyal...that is one that will never change. so many here are looking for the quick mating, the ritual of sex. sex is not all there is. there is so much more. a lone seed from a not so beautiful flower drifts in the air and falls into a space that is surrounded by weeds. the sun and rain are not enough to help it grow. it is there in the middle of nowhere, with no one to admire its inner beauty. then one day a kind and loving One shows up and looks at the flower. He carefully digs far from the roots, removing all of the weeds, and puts it into a large pot for it to expand and grow. it slowly changes over time, becoming a beautiful flower admired by many. the flower brings the One great joy and happiness. He is proud he has found it and shows it to many. He is not ashamed that it is not a rose or perfect in all ways, but it is His and His alone. i am that flower. _newn \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~