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1. To all the gents out there...thanks for all the attention and compliments, but unfortunately I’m 100% straight, so please don’t bother messaging me about how much you love my cock. I will not reply.
2. The last time I updated my profile was: Jan 27, 201y
3. The last time I was tested for STIs and given a clean bill of health: October 30, 2015
My name is Mike, and I’ve been involved in the adult lifestyle almost 6 years now. I’ve had some great sex-periences and made a handful of really good friends. It’s been a journey of discovery for me, coming to terms with the fact that I am a sexual person, a pervert, a sex-fiend, call me what you will, but I’ve learned this: there’s nothing wrong with being a perverted sex-fiend! I’ve realized that is the lifestyle for me, and I want to live it 24/7. I’m a lifestyler!
I’ve also discovered that I’m one o’ them kinky fuckers, he he. I’m curious about a whole mess of fetish play that I’ll eventually try out.
In it for the Long Haul
Now that I’m stepping into the lifestyle full tilt, my ultimate goal is to find someone who would like to live this lifestyle with me. So, ideally, I’m looking to find a swinger to date. I’m looking for someone as horny and perverted as me, who wants to swing, and fuck and suck and watch porn and make porn and help me design a playroom...more on that later...and who wants to maybe do those other things, too, like watch movies, and hang out with my friends and go camping, and travel, etc. I’m looking for the best of both worlds. Dating recently in the vanilla world has only led to awkwardness and, inevitably, pretty lousy and disappointing sex. So, the new mission: find a pervert first, then hope she turns out to be a great person, instead of trying it the other way around.
I’m still interested in meeting other people, other groups, other couples, for good sexy fun as well. I never want to stop doing that. So, ladies, please keep reading and see if maybe I’m the kinda fella that you might like to go for a drink with, and maybe more … Couples, please also keep reading cause I may be a good third-wheel or stunt-cock for your fantasies, too.
So here’s the plan: I’m going to do something kinda different, and actually use my profile to give you information about me. I know, crazy, right! I get that this is a sex site, and maybe people are trying to be discreet, or they’re embarrassed, or whatever, but 95% of the profiles I read say fuck all. And I’m the kind of person who actually READS profiles. How do I know if I want to sleep with you if all you have on your profile is: “We’re sexy people so if we both like stuff, let’s fuck!”? I’m interested in meeting real people and getting to know them, preferably well. Yes, I like to fuck too, and sometimes that means only playing with people once, but I still want to get to know them and what they’re about before I decide to stick my dick in them. So, assuming other people also want to know about who they’re considering jumping into bed with, I’m going to put my best foot forward and communicate what I want and why I’m here. Hopefully that will help people in deciding whether or not they want to meet me, and save everyone a heap of time and headache. Here are my cards, on the table.
I’ve split my profile into sections. In the first section I’ll talk about the sex stuff! What I have to offer, what kinds of activities I enjoy, and I’ll describe the kind of people I want play with, whether that’s couples or singles or groups. The next section I’ll call my Dating Profile; I’ll talk about what I’m looking for in a long term partner. The last section I’ll use to talk about myself, so you can get more of a sense of who I am and if I’m a good match for you.
And a quick note about cock vs face pics...yes, I lead my profile with a picture of my penis. I, like many on this site, have a job and family and friends and need to keep the things I get up to in my bedroom separate from those “regular” or “vanilla” people and aspects of my life. I have face pics in a private folder that I am happy to share upon request, all ya gots to do is ask.
Go-go Gadget Sex-Drive!
So, about that penis in my profile pic...I got pretty lucky; I have a large cock. I’m 8-½” long, and very thick, almost 7” in diameter at the base. So, I’m big. The next thing: I have stamina. A LOT of stamina. Too much, sometimes...that’s what happens when you jerk off twice a day, every day, since the time you were 4 years old! lol Seriously, though, I typically last a long time. A lot of couples look for guys who can cum multiple times, and get hard again quickly...well, that’s not me. But that’s because I can just keep going. I’m also a big cummer...when I do finally shoot, I shoot a LOT of cum. And I have a decent amount of energy, so I can last, but I can also keep-on-fuckin’! Lastly, I’ve had a vasectomy, so I’m v-safe.
I’m an ideal candidate for ladies who like to fuck continuously for a long time, or who like really getting rammed hard. That doesn’t mean I can’t take it slow...I luvs me some really slow, intense fucking... but if you’re looking for a long-lasting “battering ram” (and I’ve met more than a few who are!), I’m your guy!
Some sexy things I like: Boobs. Doggy-style. Boobs. Eating pussy. Boobs. Talking dirty. Boobs. Being in a room with 2 or more other naked people. Boobs. Lingerie and sexy costumes. Boobs. Looking at the woman I’m pleasuring and hearing how much she’s enjoying it, then looking up to see how much her hubby is enjoying her getting off...so hot!
I’m also a kinkster. Being somewhat new to the world of kink, I’ve been playing and experimenting, and I’ve read enough to begin to identify as a sensualist top. I’m becoming more experienced with my Dom side, and the more I play with taking control, the more I like it. But ultimately, I’m more interested in the sensations and pleasure of my partner, and seeing what new heights of pleasure I can bring a submissive to. Sometimes that’s through pain, or sensation deprivation, or degradation and dominance, or just plain ol’ fucking. I’m open to discussing any kind of fetish play, and there are more than a few kinky things yet on my bucket list I haven’t tried, so please, if you’re kinky and you know it, clap your hands. Then send me a message and let’s talk.
As you may have already noticed, I have a large breast fetish (pun fully intended). So, if you busty ladies enjoy having your girls worshipped, or teased, or tied-up, or dressed up in fancy bras, or even punished a little when they’ve been bad...look no further!
A few other kinky things I enjoy: spanking a nice, plump, juicy bottom until it’s the perfect shade of red. Tying your wrists above your head so I can run ice cubes over your nipples and get them all sensitive before I give them a good smack with a crop, or my hand. Dressing you up in slutty and unusual outfits, and taking pictures of you. Cuffing your wrists to your ankles and dripping hot wax on your bum and down your legs. Looking at you with that look in my eye that says, “I’m going to make you cum harder and more often than you’ve ever cum before. And I may even do it without touching you…”
Who I'm looking for
Couples - two plus one equals fun!:
I’ve made a lot of great couple friends since joining, and I look forward to making more. I really enjoy the dynamic of group sex. The kind of couples I enjoy playing with are the same kind of people I like having a drink with, or playing a board game with. Just normal, decent, respectful, nice people that just happen to enjoy clothes-optional get togethers.
Let me tell you about some of the couples experiences I’ve had. I’m very adept at respecting boundaries, and have played with a number of couples as their first “third,” and have no problem stopping or slowing down if everyone isn’t feeling the vibe. I’ve been the mystery cock for a blind-folded wife, and I’ve helped a number of couples fulfil their DP fantasies. I also love making the snuff films, so if you’re a couple looking for either an actor or a director or a cameraman, I love to do all those things. I’ve done a bit of light cuckolding, mostly playing with the lady one-on-one and sending the hubby pics or messages. I have done a bit of fucking the wife in front of the hubby while the wife berates him, and that’s been fun, but I haven’t done a lot of the berating part myself. But, I’m open to try, if that’s what you’re looking for.
As far as gangbangs go, I’ve done more than a few...but they’re not my favourite. If there’s only one woman, anything more than that five guys in the room isn’t really my thing. I like to focus all my energies on my partners continually, and that’s hard to do with an 8:1 ratio. Still, if you’re having a hard time finding reliable guys, send me a message and we’ll talk.
Here’s the one favour I ask from couples...I know that we single gents are a dime a dozen, and I’ve certainly been contacted by couples who feel they just need a fuck stick. But if you have a fantasy that you want to enact, or you’re just looking for an ongoing threesome fuck buddy, please involve me in the planning stage. Communicate to me what you want to do, and what you want to achieve. If you don’t tell me what you want, I can’t help you do it. I guarantee that if you make me a full part of your activities, even if you do only want a fuck stick, we’ll all have a really great time, I promise!
While I am open to a FWB situation, ultimately I’m looking for a sexy little kink-monster to call my own. So, I’m treating this section as more of a typical dating profile. These are the qualities a person must have before I would consider entering into a relationship with them:
* Intelligent - I’ve tried being with dumb, hot girls before, and I just cannot do it. If you can’t use a semicolon correctly, or think politics is boring or useless, or all you want to do is have a good time...we are likely not a good fit.
* Educated - so you have intelligence, but can you use it? Resourcefulness, and knowing things...super sexy! You don’t have to have a Master’s degree...but it sure wouldn’t hurt your chances…
* Adaptable - as McCarthy said, “The plan is nothing, but planning is everything.” I’m looking for someone able to evaluate and accept change.
* Empathetic - I was at the movie theatre once when some woman’s cell phone rang out loud, and she then proceeded to pick up the call and loudly berate the caller thusly: “Why are you calling me here--I’m at the movies!” Needless to say, I did not try and date her.
* Fun/Funny - I want someone who loves to laugh, because I love to laugh. I’m a smart-ass and a joker, so I need someone who wants to roll with that. And someone who gets it all, from Blackadder to Louis CK.
And I have a physical type. I likes what I likes, and physical attraction is important. This are the kind of women I’m attracted to:
* Curvy - I’ve already mentioned my boob fetish, but the fact is I am also all about that bass! Hourglass shaped ladies and BBWs apply within!
* Eyes and Smile - I get super turned on when I can look into someone’s eyes and see that they’ve got a lot going on upstairs. You can “see” their brain working, thinking about naughty things...and then that little smile forms on the side of her mouth, and then put a fork in me--I’m done!
* Pin-up style - if you’ve got that 50’s kinda swagger going on, call me. Call me now!
* Fashionable - personally, I couldn’t care less if someone wears makeup. But being clean, put together, trendy, aware of their hygiene...not just preferences. Requirements.
Sexually, I’m hoping to find most, if not all, of this list:
* Kinky, with submissive tendencies (read: rope bunny) - but perhaps not too submissive; I really enjoy playing with brats! They’re challenging and fun!
* Non-smokers - sorry, my allergies cannot handle cigarettes
* Bush - I like bush! There, I said it. I’ve got no problem with smooth, but bush is fun!
* Swinger - I want someone I can swing with!
Now, I feel it’s only fair to list a few things that someone should know if they’re considering me for a relationship. I just want to be upfront with this stuff, be transparent and honest, and not waste anyone’s time:
* I don’t have any kids, and I can’t have any. I’ve had a vasectomy, so that’s that. Now, please don’t misunderstand: I have no problem dating women with children. At all. Just because I don’t want kids of my own doesn't mean I’m not open to considering being a parent down the road. Perhaps I’m putting the cart before the horse here, but still, I think it’s worth mentioning.
* I have stupid allergies! So I’m more open to pet play than I am to playing with people with pets.
* And no smokers, unfortunately. My allergies can’t handle it.
* I’m not a big drug user at all, so I’m not really looking for one. And I don’t like to play while I’m high. 420’s cool, doing something a little harder every now and again is fine, but anything beyond that is not for me.
* My mother is crazy. But she’s old, so, maybe not a dealbreaker? You’ve been warned.
And now, a little about lil’ ol’ moi:
I’m a 39 year old Albertan who lived for a short time in Saskatchewan, but has now settled here in Calgary. Physically, I’m caucasian, 6 feet tall, about 170lbs, and lean but with a slight tummy (damn you, genetics!). I have brown hair, blue eyes, and a goatee.
Recreationally, I enjoy games of all kinds: board games, video games, card games, drinking games...I also enjoy fishing and camping in the summer. I cycle, but I’m more of a commuter cyclist, not a pleasure or off-road rider. I’m not much of a sports guy, except I’ve begun to enjoy watching and playing soccer over the last number of years. And by play, I mean very recreationally, super beer-league stuff. And speaking of the suds-y goodness, I highly enjoy tasting new and exciting craft beers, and am likely going to start home-brewing in the next year or so.
I’m well educated. I hold a Bachelor’s Degree from the U of A and recently graduated from SAIT with an IT certificate with honours. I’m the kind of guy who likes to think...probably too much, sometimes, but I’m the kind of guy who loves puzzles, love to ponder over things, and find better ways to do stuff with the power of my brain.
Personality-wise, I’m very social, I get along well with almost everyone. I like conversing and am very comfortable in social gatherings. I’m definitely a cup-half-full kind of guy, and I grin too much, and like to smile at, well, usually everything. I have a pretty kickass sense of humour, to be frank...which can get a little dark at times, but I can find the humour in almost everything. Sarcasm is really my first language, which sometimes lands me in trouble, and other times lands me in, well...usually more trouble.
Some of my favourite funny things: the television shows, Arrested Development and Archer; the time I sewed a mop to a baby onesie for my sister-in-laws’ baby shower for my first nephew, and told her, “The kid’s going to be crawling around the floor anyway, might as well be cleaning it at the same time. Baby-mop!”; the Muppets (then and now), comics written by Garth Ennis, anything, and of course, farts.
I’m also something of a huge nerd. But I don’t smell bad, or neglect sunlight, so I’m not one of those nerds. I’m one of the rare social nerds, like Wil Wheaton, or Weird Al, or Conan. I like science-fiction, fantasy, gaming, and pretty much everything in that wheelhouse. Except for Game of Thrones...which everybody else is sooooo infatuated with, and I don’t think it’s that great, especially in this post-Battlestar Galactica era that we live in...anyway, that’s a discussion for another day. So: nerd, but not one of the hive mind.
Regarding most things in life, I’m a quality over quantity guy. I enjoy great food, great wine, great company, and great culture and art. I have an arts background, so I consider myself relatively well cultured. But I was also weaned on Pilsner and Mac and Cheese, so please don’t think I’m a total snob. Just snobby enough. So, when I watch a movie, I watch a movie...no talking! And I’m polite, and try to ask about things before assuming. And to be clear, I will judge you if you use poor grammar. Harshly.
Hopefully that’s enough to give you a bit of a sense of who I am. So if you see something that’s piqued your interest, or you want to ask me about, please message me. Otherwise, all the best of luck with your own sexual adventuring!
What location do you fantasize about for a sexual encounter?:
A remote wilderness spot, My desk at work, A swimming pool or hot tub, A store dressing room
What types of sexual activities turn you on?:
Giving Oral Sex, Receiving Oral Sex, Anal Sex, Toys (Vibrators/Dildos/etc.), Rimming, Spanking, Threesomes, Mutual Masturbation, Making Home "Movies", Participating in Erotic Photography, Voyeurism
What factors are most important to you when looking for a sexual partner?:
Same/similar fetishes, Ability to be discreet, Willingness to freely discuss and try anything, Creativity/Kinkiness level, Respect; intelligence
Have you ever had cybersex?:
I've tried it, but it's just not the same.
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