View Erotic Photos Hide Erotic Photos
To view all of
Sign up now!
I am looking for an attractive female who will at first give me obsessive love, praise and devotion but whose paranoia, self-loathing and fear of rejection and abandonment will eventually lead her to alternately push me away and pull me closer in a love/hate cycle that will lead to infidelity and the eventual emotional breakdown of one or other party - or if we’re lucky - both!
Please have a history of short, intense, drama-driven relationships, have undergone negative psychiatric evaluations in the past, and be willing to threaten self-harm and/or annihilation as a weapon to control your partner and make them stay with you and care for you.
I am a pretty average guy...just looking to enjoy all that life has to offer. I can be shy at first, but usually warm up to others quite quickly. Once warmed up, chances are pretty good that I will have you laughing in no time. Do you ever read these profiles and think...hmm..he could be fun? If you make it through this one and feel this way please let me know.
WARNING: Any institutions using this site or any of its associated sites for studies or projects - You do NOT have my permission to use any of my profile or pictures in any form or forum both current and future. If you have or do, it will be considered a serious violation of my privacy and will be subject to legal ramifications. It is recommended that other members post a similar notice to this.
My Ideal Person A deaf, mute, nympho-maniac, supermodel?? Does she exist?
My Ideal Person: Although not completely necessary, I would prefer women with nice smiles that have larger than average breasts, married or already in unstable relationships, drink to forget, have a previously established diagnosis of Borderline or Dependent Personality Disorder, Bi-Polar Affective Disorder, and are currently taking Lithium Carbonate, SSRIs, or Tri-cyclic antidepressants.
If you think you meet these requirements (and wow, I’m getting excited just writing them!), please don’t hesitate to get back to me as soon as possible and let's get the drama started...in the meantime, thank you for reading my profile, and do take care.
P.S. If you have actually gotten this far and are nodding your head up and down in agreement please click to the next profile immediately because you scare the SHIT out of me...but, if you really enjoy a sense of humor and have ever laughed until you peed your pants I would love to get to know you.
Whether you are looking for MFM, group, or some just good old one-on-one, or just an interesting intellectual person for some stimulating conversation, I may be the one! Sometimes the stimulating conversation leads to much more interesting things behind closed doors!
All joking aside, I am attracted to confident, intelligent people that know what they want and are not afraid to ask for it. I don't judge people based on age, size, race, looks, etc. There is something unique and special about everyone, and I enjoy the search to meet new friends.
One sexual fantasy I've always had is being surprised with a threesome. You know, having it not planned, and when things get started the "3rd" suddenly jumps in!
**** The New Part of my Profile - guaranteed to make you laugh!!**** I need to add to this - such as seeing the pictures with a time stamp of circa 1980 on them and wondering how they were digitized to be loaded on here - or better yet why anyone would care what you looked like 30 years ago.
After spending way too much time on here reading through profiles, I decided to post my "advice" for women when filling out their profile. Hope you enjoy!
OK ladies, time for a reality check. Here are some ideas for your profiles that might help you get the responses you want, instead of all the creeps on here.
1) Tell us a little about yourself. If you don't want to show a face pic (I do understand the need for discretion and safety) take a full body shot and blur the face.
2) Accurately describe your body type. 'A few extra pounds' is not 70.
3) Don't give a laundry list of what you want. It just makes you look needy. Tell us what general properties you like (love goatees! Be over 6 ft since I'm 5'8, etc) but don't go overboard. You'll be lucky if half of your respondents read your profile anyway. Especially if you're reasonably attractive.
4) Tell us about something you'd like to do, or share, with someone in a relationship. This shows us that you have goals, expectations, etc.
5) If you do post pics of you with someone else, TELL US WHICH ONE YOU ARE. (I'm the old fat one on the right, not my cute 20-something niece on the left.)
6) Post a picture that you took RECENTLY. I met one woman and when she walked up my immediate reaction was that I was being busted by her MOTHER for something. The 20 yrs, 70 lbs and totally gray hair were all things I wasn't supposed to notice? WTF?
7) Let your personality come through in your profile. If you don't HAVE a personality, delete your profile and try again once you've developed one.
8. If you do meet, don't spend half the evening bleating about how bad your last relationship was, or how your husband cheated on you. If you have kids in prison, or on America's Most Wanted List you might want to wait for date 2 to dump that info on them.
9) Learn to listen. Yes, we all like to hear ourselves talk. But so does your DATE. Let them get a word in edgewise. Respond with questions about what they just said. It is called the art of conversation, and if you've never studied it, there are wonderful books on the subject.
10) Don't be a stalkerazzi if things don't work out. Chemistry is not exact. Sometime he's just not into you. Don't take it personally.
11) Have realistic expectations about when you're going to sleep with him. It might be 2 dates, or it might be 5. But if you can't see yourself sleeping with him in 4 dates you might want to keep looking or create a profile on a different website.
12) Learn how to kiss. Try it with your girlfriend. Post the video on U-Tube. Trust me on this one.
13) Learn more about a man's body. There are great books on the subject, or ask a gay friend if you don't want to discuss this stuff with the guys in the office.
14) (Maybe this should be 13) Learn more about your own body. Learn how to teach someone else what you like and don't like. We're all different so we won't always know what works.
15) Get in shape. Dating is work. There are walks, hiking, boating, beaches, etc. And ladies, good sex is STRENUOUS. Start now on getting back in shape. You'll feel better about yourself, and your confidence will increase dramatically. And confidence is very sexy.
16) Conversely, be happy in your own skin. I'm not 25 anymore, and don't expect you to be magazine material. Nothing puts a damper on the evening more than a woman who won't get naked with the lights on. We are very visual creatures. This is important to us!
17) ALWAYS meet us in a public place. ALWAYS tell a friend that you're going out, with whom, and where. Have my phone number and give it to your friend 'just in case'.
18. Stop playing high school games. Say what you mean. Mean what you say. Well most of the time. Even when they ask a question point blank, sometimes men aren't prepared for a direct answer. Let me give you an example: At some point, your new man might ask "So when WAS the last time you had sex?" BE CAREFUL! Men don't REALLY want to know if you've had sex recently. If you reply "What Time is it now?" They'll freak because they KNOW they are going to be compared to your 3:15er. We want you to say it has been a LONG time. As in 'Too long to really remember what good sex was like' so that if I really SUCK in bed you might not be able to remember clearly and thus judge my 2.4 minutes of wheezing thrusts. Same thing with being asked 'How many people have you slept with?' If you reply 'Today?' it brings up negative connotations so be careful!
19) Be prepared in case you have chemistry. Do you have an overnight bag in your car? Contact case at least? Hey, these things DO happen!
20) Consider shaving more than your legs. Do you want some serious 'face time' from your man? Don't make him wade through a jungle to get there! If you're really adventurous, make it part of foreplay some evening. You trim and shave him and vice-versa. A landing strip is fine, or just trim it short. But nothing will put the soft in willie quicker than some nasty old bush that is ready for corn rows.
21) Bring your favorite condoms. And toys. Trust me, you'll be glad you did!
I hope you have enjoyed - many of these are based on actual experiences. I have had several emails informing me that this applies to men just as much as it does women and I couldn't agree more - maybe someone can help me write a "Profile Advice for Men" list sometime?
What location do you fantasize about for a sexual encounter?:
A store dressing room
What types of sexual activities turn you on?:
Giving Oral Sex, Receiving Oral Sex, Spanking, Threesomes, Mutual Masturbation, Making Home "Movies", Participating in Erotic Photography
Have you ever had cybersex?:
I've tried it, but it's just not the same.
View more of akaholmes2's responses
|Looking For: Women, Couples (man/woman), Groups or Couples (2 women)|