OK..this is long but funny! Sorry if you're not a reader! Thanks for taking a moment to view our profile. We're drama free, have no jealousy, and have enough experience to know how to have fun! And most importantly, we've been in love for 16 years and counting! As you may have seen from the pics, she is a sexy at 5'6", natural 34 D's, long legs, a great smile, and alluring green eyes. What you can't tell from the pics is that she has one of the most amazing dispositions, is extremely sensual, and LOVES women who LOVE women! Now, you may have noticed my pics are scarce. It's not that I am a hideous troll...it's just that some people just are not photogenic. Even when you can manage to get me to pose for a photo, my eyes close, a spasm crosses over my face, or evil chickens drop from the sky to peck at me! Of the few photos that actually survive, I usually weed out 9,999 out of 10,000. So please be happy with the one or two usually posted! However, I am a 5'9" green eyed Italian, with dark brown hair, broad shoulders, and mostly a muscular build (just don't look for the six pack abs yet...I'm working my way back from 12 pack abs!). So...now we get to the perality section of the profile! #1. We're Yankees, so yes we can be smartasses. (Note: Smartasses, not arrogant or stuck up!) We're usually straight forward and to the point - you will always know where you stand with us!! #2. We love the South...the weather's great! #3. Um...did we say we're smartasses? If you can't take a joke, we may not be great friends. If you're not certain if a comment was a joke...it was. You'll know when we're not ding (see item #1). #4. We don't have to sleep with you to get together and have fun. We value friendships above all else. #5. We (especially him) come from punk rock roots: he played in punk and alternative bands (drummer), lived life with a mohawk before MTV made it cool, slept wherever he could use his combat boots for pillows.....This is important to understanding us...for all we have accomplished, it has ALWAYS been on our own terms and due to our own efforts! #6. She's an artist-of-all-trades...graphic design is the paycheck, but she's been successful as a muralist, faux painter, photographer, illustrator, etc.....You know what they say about those artist chicks! #7. We honor our commitments. We expect the same courtesy from others. However, we may be late! But if you get to know us, you'll know we have a lot on our collective plates that demand much of our time. So...if we make plans, we try to be 100% certain we can be there. Please don't distract us from other things if you're going to get cold feet, etc at the last minute! #8. We're car people...especially fast cars. We especially love our Corvettes! On the side we build hotrods, customs, and perform restorations...we do it all from the frame and suspension to the final custom paint. He especially loves to paint flames. One day this will be all we do hopefully. Until then, the corporate gigs continue. #9. We're not know it alls...we've just done alot of different things. We love to take on new challenges and master them. We're very "type A" when it comes to doing something new...we have to be the best (within rea-we know when good enough is enough, particularly with tasks that we don't like!) #10. We're not arrogant..we're confident. #11. We have no drama...if you do, you'd better be great in bed! #12. If you're interested, let us know...go ahead, send a Wink. We're busy, so unlike some, we understand if you don't want to send an introductory dissertation! IF we don't reply, try again (although, you probably need to get the hint after the 5th or 6th email to which we don't reply!). If you do send a Wink please add us to your network pics if you have them....how can we be expected to decide if we want to do unmentionable things with you if we don't even know what you look like? #13. Finally....We don't take ourselves too seriously. We just like to have fun! Hopefully, we can continue to make great connections with great people and continue to have many more good times!! Looking forward to hearing from you, Twofor!

My Ideal Person We ARE looking for Ken and Barbie....unfortunately, they seem to be one step ahead of us at all times!

So...we'll settle for some sexy fun couples (and/or single Females...yes, we said FEMALES)!! Single guys....sorry, but as we've told some of you that are our friends in person...YOU JUST DON'T BRING ENOUGH TO THE TABLE!

In the great scheme of incredibly-sexy-our-jaws-are-dropping-to-the-floor rating system, we're probably going to be a 7 (and that's because of her...and we've been drinking so we're beer-goggled about ourselves)! We are working on our selves and our self images...we might reach a low 8, but our self esteem will put us at 10's. LMAO

Now, if you are 10's don't think that you can't contact us and maybe hook up! Remember, if we strain our way to an 8, and you're a 10...that averages out to 9, and that's pretty damn good! Swinger Math!

As we said above...we LOVE WOMEN WHO LOVE WOMEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is not a prerequisite, but does gain points in our rating system. More Swinger Math: She's a 7, He's a 6. Now normally this would be 13. However, if she loves women...her score immediately jumps to 14. So now, she's a 14 and he's a 6. However...the average is 10! See how this works! Swinger Math in use!

Next on the list is the ASIAN PERSUASION! She has always fantasized about a gorgeous Asian girl. Will you be that first Asian?

You say, "Wait, I'm not Asain!!" No Problem, not with Swinger Math. Are you a hot Latina? Say an 8? Well, we really like Latina women too...so give yourself an extra 2 points...ta daaa...you're a 10! You say, "But I'm a white girl with blond hair!" Again, no problem with swinger math! See, Mr. Twofor likes blondes...(not that Mrs. Twofor dislikes blondes)...so he will give an extra 2 points...Suddenly you're Pamela Anderson with Swinger Math!

So...not certain how Swinger Math can affect your life? If you average at least a 6 or above in the typical rating system, not overweight, and like to have fun, email Twofor3some with special abilities, attributes, and fantasies....We'll apply Swinger Math and see if it leads to a hook up!!

Mrs. Twofor's extra comments here:
We both shave, so unless it's a tiny landing strip, you must be shaved.
If you are out of shape more than we are, we will not be interested. ...and we know we are not perfect, we're working on it...
We're really busy and can't always go out. If we talk to you at all then it's nothing personal, we just have a lot to do on the weekends. We want to retire early... If we do go out it's usually late on Fri. or Sat.
I would much rather get to know people at parties first. So if you want to meet us, go to a party. We might be there.
Once you meet us you will find that we are not pushy at all, and if you don't show us interest, we will not show any back. We're fine just being friends. We can be social with people that we are not trying to sleep with. We already have a few friends with benefits, not that we don't need more.
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We are disease free and always use condoms, we expect the same from you. This is also why we are so picky, we may like you but not who you play with. (like it or not) Play Safe.

What types of sexual activities turn you on?:
Giving Oral Sex, Receiving Oral Sex, Anal Sex, Toys (Vibrators/Dildos/etc.), Light Bondage, Threesomes, Participating in Erotic Photography, Blindfolds, Massage

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