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BTW, Kudos to the Writing Ideas writers. I gleaned this masterpiece from their informative writing prompts.
I joke around and just write off the wall, so don't judge my sense of humor too harshly, because I won't be able to prop those grades up with high marks from any of the other senses.
I'm perfectly capable of wasting all of my free time without any help. I've been doing it for years. What I need is someone TO DO so I have LESS free time! Hey lady, can you spare me some time? I'm that guy. You know. You've bumped into me. We've chatted, but we haven't met yet. You still wonder about me, and I run across your profile, and I wonder about you too. I'm truly very much a single guy. To be honest with you, I'm getting, well, either bored or impatient with all of this. Honestly, I want to meet you. Double You Tea EFF, Are we all gonna sit around and write on little devices to each other and have our desires satiated? Coining a new phrase:::: APPSTINANCE: safe sex through texting.
My Ideal Person 1. I'm (straight/bi-curious/gay). I'm (not interested/interested) in exploring sex with another (man/woman) ANSWER: TRUE
2. I'm looking for someone who can be discreet because... Audiences should be by invitation only.
3. I don't consider myself kinky, but.... I did once paint a blowup doll green to pretend she was an alien. It saved a lot on the awkward conversation!
4. The only taboo I have in the bedroom is.... Illegal in 42 States and shunned by most modern religions.
5. As far as I'm concerned, the best place to have sex is..... Somewhere that it's safe to use a pressure washer afterwards.
6. Extramarital affairs (add excitement to a relationship/do not interest me). ONCE AGAIN, THE ANSWER IS TRUE
7. One sexual fantasy I've always had is.... Now banned everywhere.
8. My feelings on one-night stands are..... Not coming out.
9. Sensuality- like touching and candles and massage.... Should only take place if you have plenty of burn cream on hand.
10. Foreplay is (overrated/underrated). I like (lots of foreplay before/going straight to) penetration. THIS ONE IS TRICKY, BUT I HAVE TO SAY FALSE, UNLESS THERE ARE AN ODD NUMBER OF NAKED BODIES EXCEEDING 7 AND THE EXTRA IS FEMALE, THEN, OF COURSE, IT IS DEFINITELY TRUE.
Tell one of your favorite sexual fantasies. Don't hold back!:
To find that special woman that has a sexual appetite that
matches mine and go through life having fun with her.
What types of sexual activities turn you on?:
Giving Oral Sex, Receiving Oral Sex, Toys (Vibrators/Dildos/etc.), Light Bondage, Threesomes, Slave/Master, Mutual Masturbation, Food Play, Making Home "Movies", Participating in Erotic Photography, Voyeurism, Handcuffs/Shackles, Blindfolds
What factors are most important to you when looking for a sexual partner?:
A little of each
Ever fantasized about having sex with a celebrity? Who? What turns you on about them?:
Much more interested in making the woman I'm with FEEL
like a celebrity than fantasizing about being with someone
I'll likely never meet.
Have you ever had cybersex?:
Unsure/Prefer not to say
View more of FLATGLASS2B3D4U's responses
|Looking For: Women, Couples (man/woman), Groups or Couples (2 women)|