|
|
Hallelujah !
A smile - is a sign of joy.
A hug - is a sign of love.
A laugh - is a sign of happiness.
And a friend like me??
Shit...that's just a sign of good taste, what ... | 7 |
42 |
27 |
0.82 |
1/29/2010 8:03 am |
|
|
The saga of life !
Life is not one thing after another. It's the same
damn thing over and over! ... | 10 |
90 |
46 |
0.00 |
10/11/2009 9:12 am |
|
|
Sex & Love !
Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it. ... | 16 |
89 |
51 |
0.00 |
10/11/2009 9:09 am |
|
|
Old is when........
'OLD' IS WHEN... You don't care where
your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go
along.... | 5 |
127 |
39 |
0.00 |
10/5/2009 7:09 pm |
|
|
The first date kiss !
If you kiss on the first date and it's not right,
then there will usually be no second date.
So ya better make it a good un ! ... | 11 |
92 |
41 |
0.00 |
10/5/2009 6:42 pm |
|
|
In three words !
In three words I can sum up everything I've learned
about life after we have crossed on over that is true...."It
goes on!" ... | 6 |
65 |
38 |
0.00 |
10/3/2009 4:48 pm |
|
|
Arkansas lottery !
Did you hear about the $3 million Arkansas State Lottery?
The winner gets $3.00 a year for a million years.... | 7 |
103 |
44 |
0.00 |
10/3/2009 3:40 pm |
|
|
Hatred !
Hatred is the coward's revenge for being intimidated.
... | 4 |
73 |
47 |
0.00 |
10/3/2009 3:37 pm |
|
|
In Alabama of course !
A 32 year old man from Alabama passed away and left his
entire estate to his beloved widow, but she can't touch
it till she's 14.... | 8 |
147 |
53 |
0.00 |
10/2/2009 4:43 pm |
|
|
The healing touch !
A Irishman in a wheelchair entered a restaurant one
afternoon and asked the waitress for a cup of coffee. The
man looked across the restaurant and asked, "Is that
Jesus sitting over there?" The ... | 14 |
186 |
71 |
0.00 |
10/2/2009 4:40 pm |
|
|
New law in Mississippi !
A new law was recently passed in Mississippi: When a couple gets divorced, they are STILL cousins.... | 4 |
83 |
39 |
0.00 |
10/2/2009 4:35 pm |
|
|
In Georgia !
A Georgia state trooper pulls over a pickup on I-75 and
says to the driver, "Got any I.D.?"
And the driver replies, "Bout wut?"... | 3 |
83 |
39 |
0.00 |
10/2/2009 4:32 pm |
|
|
Dating experience !
Dating experience can only be understood backwards,
but they must be lived forward. ... | 4 |
60 |
35 |
0.00 |
10/2/2009 4:27 pm |
|
|
Your kids !
Do not confine your children to all of your own learning
and experiences, for they were born in another time. ... | 8 |
60 |
42 |
0.00 |
10/2/2009 4:24 pm |
|
|
For some !
Love is not a problem to be solved, but a reality to be
experienced. ... | 9 |
79 |
41 |
0.00 |
10/2/2009 4:21 pm |
|
|
That flash !
One day your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure
its worth watching. ... | 4 |
48 |
33 |
0.00 |
10/2/2009 4:15 pm |
|
|
Happiness !
Happiness will never come to those who fail to appreciate
what they already have. ... | 12 |
81 |
44 |
0.00 |
10/2/2009 4:12 pm |
|
|
Learn !
Learn from yesterday's mistakes, live for today,
and hope for tomorrow. ... | 6 |
61 |
42 |
0.00 |
10/2/2009 4:10 pm |
|
|
Life !
And in the end, it's not the years in your life that
count. It's the life in your years. ... | 6 |
83 |
40 |
0.00 |
10/2/2009 4:05 pm |
|
|
Semper Fi !
U. S. Marines !
Providing enemies of America an opportunity to die for
their country since 1775.... | 10 |
71 |
43 |
0.00 |
10/1/2009 2:36 pm |
|
|
Married Alabama redneck !
How can you tell if a Alabama redneck is married? There's dried Redman tobacco juice on both sides of
his torn all to hell pickup truck.... | 3 |
92 |
34 |
0.00 |
10/1/2009 2:30 pm |
|
|
Beliefs about immortality !
If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is certain
dogs I have known will go to heaven, and very, very few people
I have known will. ... | 5 |
73 |
47 |
0.00 |
9/28/2009 7:09 am |
|
|
Old !
Old is when your sweetie says, "Let's go upstairs
and make love."
And you answer, "Pick one, I can't do both!"
... | 10 |
81 |
50 |
0.00 |
9/27/2009 1:40 pm |
|
|
Sigmund Freud said !
Dogs love their friends and bite their enemies, quite
unlike people, who are incapable of pure love and always
have to mix love and hate.... | 8 |
89 |
61 |
0.00 |
9/24/2009 9:30 am |
|
|
Blind man !
A blind man was walking down the street with his dog.
They stopped at the corner to wait for the passing traffic.
The dog, at this point, started pissing on the mans leg.
As the dog ... | 7 |
132 |
47 |
0.00 |
9/24/2009 9:26 am |
|
|
Dogs !
A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you, more than
he loves himself.... | 5 |
107 |
51 |
0.00 |
9/22/2009 4:48 pm |
|
|
The prophet Jefferson !
Thomas Jefferson in some cases could be called a prophet
from his many quotes.
He said, "When we get piled upon one another in large
cities, as in Europe, we shall become as corrupt as ... | 24 |
135 |
70 |
0.00 |
9/22/2009 4:46 pm |
|
|
$20.00
On their wedding night, the young bride approached
her new husband and asked for $20.00 for their first lovemaking
encounter. In his highly aroused state, her husband readily agreed.
This ... | 5 |
149 |
39 |
0.00 |
9/22/2009 4:42 pm |
|
|
Attitude !
Your attitude towards dating defines not only who you
are, but the quality of the date you are after, at least for
some. If not forget it. ... | 4 |
71 |
41 |
0.00 |
9/22/2009 4:35 pm |
|
|
Wise ones & fools !
Wise men/women talk because they have something to
say.
Fools do, because they have to say something, anything.
... | 5 |
73 |
50 |
0.00 |
9/20/2009 3:08 pm |
|
|
The only way !
Just stop all the sucking and fucking you're doing
with god knows who all is the safest way.
 ROFLMAO
But truthfully these days, both men and women, if you've
got any sense ... | 5 |
104 |
48 |
0.00 |
9/19/2009 2:56 pm |
|
|
Mental health !
I believe mental health just may be the most terrible
thing that can happen to people.
After seeing my mom pass away from Alzheimer's back
in 2001 it made me think a whole lot about ... | 15 |
77 |
131 |
0.00 |
9/19/2009 1:59 pm |
|
|
Relationships !
I truly believe that a real relationship of any kind
is a thing of the past for me.
But good luck to the rest of you at the same time.  ... | 19 |
101 |
51 |
0.72 |
9/19/2009 1:12 pm |
|
|
Non existent after 50 !
The dating scene for people over 50 is just nearly non
existent.
At least for me it is. ... | 23 |
75 |
32 |
1.36 |
9/19/2009 1:08 pm |
|
|
Too fucking old, too fucking lazy !
Just fuck a lot is all I know to do.
I'm too fucking old and way too fucking lazy to do all
that exercise shit.
ROFLMAO... | 6 |
42 |
13 |
2.47 |
9/19/2009 1:05 pm |
|
|
The Silent Fart !
An elderly couple was attending church services.
About halfway through, she leaned over and whispered to
her husband, 'I just let out a long silent fart. What
Do you think I should do?' ... | 5 |
94 |
26 |
2.06 |
9/19/2009 9:03 am |
|
|
Still in love ?
Wife: You always carry my photo in your briefcase to
the office. Why?
Husband: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible,
I look at your picture and the problem disappears. ... | 4 |
62 |
8 |
1.86 |
9/19/2009 9:00 am |
|
|
As always !
A wife asked her husband: 'What do you like most
in me my pretty face or my sexy body?'
He looked at her from head to toe and replied: 'I like
your sense of humor.' ... | 3 |
73 |
18 |
1.62 |
9/19/2009 8:57 am |
|
|
Expiration date !
Wife: Honey.....What are You Looking for?
Husband: Nothing.
Wife: Nothing...?? You've been reading our marriage
certificate for an hour??
Husband: I was just looking for ... | 8 |
53 |
21 |
0.28 |
9/19/2009 8:55 am |
|
|
Know & No !
Know guns, know peace, know safety.
No guns, no peace, no safety. ... | 5 |
40 |
16 |
1.66 |
9/19/2009 8:43 am |
|
|
Psychiatrist !
There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking
your face.... | 3 |
40 |
26 |
1.30 |
9/19/2009 8:39 am |
|
|
A dog's admiration !
Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive
evidence that you are wonderful.... | 5 |
59 |
18 |
0.12 |
9/17/2009 9:08 am |
|
|
Cowboy wit !
Cowboy walks into the bedroom carrying a sheep in his
arms and says, "Honey, this is the cow I make love to
when you have a headache."
The wife, lying in the bed reading a book, looks up ... | 3 |
100 |
20 |
3.38 |
9/17/2009 9:00 am |
|
|
Democracy !
Democracy will cease to exist when you take away from
those who are willing to work and give to those who will not.... | 4 |
40 |
24 |
0.40 |
9/17/2009 7:16 am |
|
|
Unh unh. !
A man and a woman were waiting in line at the hospital
donation center.
Man: "What are you doing here today?"
Woman: "Oh, I'm here to donate some blood. They're
going to give me ... | 5 |
117 |
23 |
2.54 |
9/16/2009 12:02 pm |
|
|
The tree of liberty !
The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time
with the blood of patriots and tyrants. ... | 3 |
32 |
12 |
2.62 |
9/16/2009 11:45 am |
|
|
1802
In 1802 Thomas Jefferson said, "I believe that
banking institutions are more dangerous to our liberties
than standing armies. If the American people ever allow
private banks to control the issue ... | 16 |
110 |
70 |
1.45 |
9/16/2009 11:39 am |
|
|
Dogs & Friends !
The reason a dog has so many friends, is that he wags his
tail, instead of his tongue.... | 4 |
54 |
23 |
0.00 |
9/16/2009 11:31 am |
|
|
Rights !
You only have the rights that you are willing to fight
for. ... | 7 |
70 |
41 |
0.00 |
9/16/2009 11:19 am |
|
|
My sex life !
My sex life isn't quite dead, but the buzzards are
circling and getting lower.
Then what?  ... | 15 |
140 |
56 |
0.00 |
9/4/2009 6:05 pm |
|
|
Marriage counseling‏ !
A husband and wife came for counseling after 20 years
of marriage. When asked what the problem was, the wife went
into a passionate, painful tirade listing every problem
they had ever had in the ... | 10 |
197 |
43 |
0.00 |
9/4/2009 5:38 pm |
|
|
Three American women in Mexico !
Three American women go down to Mexico one night to celebrate
college graduation, get drunk, and wake up in jail, only
to find that they are to be executed in the morning, though
none of them can ... | 4 |
111 |
31 |
0.00 |
9/4/2009 5:35 pm |
|
|
Liberty & Security !
Those who trade liberty for security, have neither.... | 3 |
55 |
32 |
0.00 |
9/4/2009 3:55 pm |
|
|
Oh yea !
Only a government that is afraid of its citizens, tries
to control them.... | 4 |
75 |
39 |
0.00 |
9/4/2009 3:53 pm |
|
|
Gun control !
Gun control is not about guns. It's about control.
What kind of gun or guns do you own? ... | 12 |
64 |
36 |
1.43 |
9/4/2009 3:48 pm |
|
|
House party !
You go to a house party.
Who are you hanging out with?
* You stick with your friends.
* Mingle of course!
* Leave because someone is there you don't like. ... | 9 |
59 |
26 |
1.30 |
9/4/2009 3:45 pm |
|
|
Robot bartender !
A man walked into a very high-tech bar. As he sat down
on a stool he noticed the bartender was a robot. The robot
clicked to attention and asked, "Sir, what will you
have?"
The man ... | 9 |
124 |
50 |
1.42 |
9/3/2009 3:25 pm |
|
|
Ya might be a redneck !
When you finally mow your yard, and find a god damn car
out there in it, ya might be a redneck. ... | 6 |
70 |
26 |
0.11 |
9/2/2009 5:25 pm |
|
|
Dead Duck Redux !
A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon.
As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope
and listened to the bird's chest.
After a moment or two, ... | 8 |
99 |
31 |
1.13 |
9/2/2009 4:53 pm |
|
|
The UPS guy !
Little Johnny attended a horse auction with his father.
He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running
his hands up and down the horse's legs and rump, and
chest.
After a few ... | 3 |
106 |
18 |
2.17 |
8/27/2009 7:36 am |
|
|
Here's one way !
Just tell whoever that your seeing someone and you don't
want to cheat on them. ... | 7 |
72 |
37 |
0.00 |
8/25/2009 5:15 pm |
|
|
Never !
Never go to bed angry. Stay up and plot your revenge.
... | 13 |
59 |
34 |
0.45 |
8/25/2009 5:10 pm |
|
|
When things ain't going good!
Here's a line to use to help things along when things
are going south; Why don't you slip into something
more comfortable, like a coma. ... | 16 |
61 |
39 |
2.02 |
8/25/2009 5:07 pm |
|
|
A possible line for you to use !
Wouldn't you just love to say this to someone on a first
date?
Wipe your mouth, there's a tiny bit of bullshit
around your lips. ... | 9 |
76 |
21 |
3.37 |
8/25/2009 5:00 pm |
|
|
Buy a dog !
If you want someone who will eat whatever you put in front
of him, and never say its not quite as good as his mothers
then buy a dog.
If you want someone always willing to go out, at any ... | 4 |
38 |
12 |
1.56 |
8/25/2009 4:04 pm |
|
|
Who's your daddy?
The following are all replies that Detroit women have
written on Child Support Agency Forms in the section for
listing 'Father's Details, ' or putting
it another way.... Who's your Daddy? These ... | 10 |
120 |
50 |
0.00 |
8/25/2009 3:53 pm |
|
|
Trip to Vegas !
George and Gertrude decided to celebrate their 50th
Wedding Anniversary with a trip to Las Vegas. When they
entered the hotel/casino and registered, a sweet young
woman dressed in a very short ... | 9 |
154 |
29 |
0.03 |
8/25/2009 3:09 pm |
|
|
Signs !
Farmer John lived on a quiet rural highway. But, as time went by, the traffic Slowly built up at an alarming
rate. The traffic was so heavy and so fast that his Chickens
were being run over at a ... | 5 |
94 |
17 |
2.70 |
8/25/2009 3:05 pm |
|
|
Traffic ticket !
An Officer stops a driver for running a red light. The guy is a real jerk and comes running back to the officer demanding to know why he is being
harassed by the Gestapo!
So the officer ... | 7 |
130 |
36 |
1.94 |
8/25/2009 2:59 pm |
|
|
Morals !
You are driving down the road in your car on a wild, stormy
night, when you pass by a bus stop and you see three people
waiting for the bus:
1. An old lady who looks as if she is about to ... | 7 |
53 |
21 |
1.64 |
8/25/2009 2:15 pm |
|
|
The best we can do !
A man walked into a drug store and asked to talk to a male
Pharmacist. The older woman he was talking to said that
she was the Pharmacist and as she and her also widowed sister
owned the store, ... | 23 |
179 |
99 |
1.62 |
8/20/2009 10:47 am |
|
|
A woman's secret !
A woman's secret of staying young is living honestly,
eating slowly and lying about her age. ... | 12 |
55 |
27 |
1.98 |
8/3/2009 7:33 pm |
|
|
Experiencing love !
Experiencing love is a wonderful thing to have had when
you've gotten older. It enables you to recognize another
mistake when you make it again. ... | 8 |
50 |
22 |
1.32 |
8/3/2009 7:28 pm |
|
|
Lost luggage !
I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage
area.
So I went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there
that my bags never showed up.
She smiled and told me not to ... | 7 |
107 |
35 |
0.16 |
8/3/2009 6:36 pm |
|
|
U. S. Divorce Agreement !
Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives,
socialists, Marxists, Obama Bot supporters, et al:
We have stuck together since the late 1950's, but the
whole of this latest ... | 22 |
197 |
128 |
0.29 |
8/3/2009 6:27 pm |
|
|
Confucius Says;
Confucius Says:
Man who run in front of car get tired. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who run behind car get exhausted. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man with one chopstick go hungry. ... | 12 |
90 |
45 |
0.00 |
8/3/2009 5:04 pm |
|
|
Destroying a mans confidence !
Four words words, nine letters, 1 question.
Guaranteed to destroy a mans confidence;
"Is it in yet?" ... | 21 |
109 |
54 |
1.27 |
8/3/2009 4:51 pm |
|
|
Confounded sex !
A man was in a terrible accident, and his 'manhood'
was mangled and torn from his body. His doctor assured him
that modern medicine could give him back his manhood, but that his insurance
wouldn't ... | 12 |
156 |
38 |
0.58 |
8/3/2009 4:43 pm |
|
|
He could fly too!
One night an 87 year old woman came home from Bingo to
find her 92 year old husband in bed with another woman.
She became violent and ended up pushing him off the balcony
of their 20th ... | 6 |
145 |
18 |
2.31 |
8/3/2009 4:35 pm |
|
|
General Patton !
In 1944 General Patton said to a reporter, "War
does not determine who is right, war determines who is left."
... | 3 |
48 |
23 |
1.73 |
8/3/2009 4:04 pm |
|
|
You may be the world !
To the world you may be one person. To one person, you
may be the world. ... | 10 |
46 |
19 |
3.12 |
8/3/2009 3:42 pm |
|
|
Public restroom !
Bob goes into the public restroom and sees this guy standing
next to the urinal. The guy has no arms. As Bob's standing
there, taking care of business, he wonders to himself how
the poor wretch is ... | 19 |
208 |
44 |
3.31 |
6/16/2009 9:27 am |
|
|
Super duper hot cunnilingus !
A man comes home late from work & sneaks into bed
and gives his wife super duper hot cunnilingus.
When he's done he goes into the bathroom & finds his wife in there. She tells him to be ... | 11 |
200 |
25 |
1.36 |
6/15/2009 9:06 pm |
|
|
It's a dem buzzards !
Back in 1973 two buzzards are eating a clown that fucked
up working at the Circus Circus Casino in Las Vegas in some
cash stealing scheme whose body had been dumped in the desert.
One ... | 5 |
113 |
21 |
1.02 |
6/13/2009 4:03 pm |
|
|
Mixed feelings !
When you see your mother in law backing off a 1000 foot
rocky cliff in your new car, now that's a mixed feeling.
... | 6 |
72 |
16 |
1.80 |
6/13/2009 8:37 am |
|
|
Fatal attraction !
Fatal attractions can come from just merely saying,
"No thanks!"
Have you ever known this to happen to anyone near to you?
... | 8 |
84 |
45 |
0.00 |
6/9/2009 6:06 pm |
|
|
Mixed feelings !
When you see your mother in law backing off a cliff in
your new car, now that's a mixed feeling. ... | 6 |
51 |
24 |
0.00 |
6/9/2009 12:44 pm |
|
|
Mom and kids arrive at the Army base !
After an overnight flight to meet her husband at his
latest military assignment, my mom wearily arrived at
the Army Base with 9 kids all under age 11.
Collecting the many suitcases, the ... | 5 |
150 |
19 |
3.26 |
6/9/2009 12:39 pm |
|
|
Some day !
Some day day you may ask me what is more important to me?
You or my life!
I will say my life, and you will walk out and leave me, not
even realizing that you are my life. ... | 16 |
70 |
23 |
2.31 |
6/9/2009 9:54 am |
|
|
Florida !
God's waiting room ! ... | 7 |
45 |
19 |
1.01 |
6/8/2009 8:34 pm |
|
|
Wrinkled !
Being wrinkled was not one of the things I wanted to be
when I got old. ... | 6 |
48 |
30 |
0.20 |
6/8/2009 8:20 pm |
|
|
The confessional !
A drunken woman staggers in to a Catholic church and wanders
over to the confessional box. She opens the door, sits down
and says nothing.
The bewildered old priest waits for a few minutes, ... | 4 |
169 |
22 |
1.93 |
6/8/2009 3:33 pm |
|
|
Men & housework !
A man is someone who, after taking the trash out, gives
the impression that he just cleaned the whole house up.
... | 10 |
65 |
43 |
0.21 |
6/7/2009 8:52 pm |
|
|
Rest easy !
BILL was dying. His wife sat at his bedside. He looked
up and said weakly: 'I have something I must confess.'
'There's no need to, 'his wife Hillary replied.
'No, ' BILL ... | 4 |
177 |
22 |
3.85 |
6/6/2009 1:41 pm |
|
|
Men & women !
Men are like a fine wine. Men all start out like grapes, and
it's a woman's job to stomp on them and stomp on
them in the dark until they mature into something they'd like to have
dinner ... | 4 |
51 |
25 |
0.26 |
6/5/2009 12:13 pm |
|
|
The Nun & the Outlaws MC Riders !
Three Outlaws MC Riders are sitting at a table in a greasy-spoon
when in walks a nun, takes a seat next to them and begins to
eat.
Astonished, one of the bikers says, "I went to my ... | 5 |
104 |
21 |
1.02 |
6/2/2009 4:14 pm |
|
|
What do you call him?
Question: What do you call an intelligent, good looking,
sensitive man?
Answer: A rumor!... | 15 |
64 |
29 |
0.63 |
6/2/2009 2:54 pm |
|
|
Stupid people !
God must love stupid people. He made so many when it came
to safe sex. ... | 5 |
68 |
33 |
0.00 |
6/2/2009 2:04 pm |
|
|
Trust & Suspicion !
Sometimes for some people it takes years to build up
trust in a relationship, and it only takes suspicion, not
proof, to destroy that trust. ... | 5 |
46 |
14 |
2.02 |
6/2/2009 2:01 pm |
|
|
Marital Bliss ! ?
While driving to his mothers house a husband and wife
got into it as usual because he was going to see his mom.
The husband told his wife, "BITCH! Don't say
a fucking word when we get ... | 4 |
158 |
23 |
0.00 |
6/2/2009 1:40 pm |
|
|
Our American Troops !
IF YOU DON'T STAND BEHIND OUR TROOPS, PLEASE FEEL FREE TO STAND IN FRONT OF THEM!... | 9 |
72 |
47 |
0.00 |
6/2/2009 1:09 pm |
|
|
Gals like that are hard to find !
Two men are drinking beer and fishing one day and almost
silently, so as not to scare the fish, one man says to the
other, "I think I'm going to divorce my wife.
She hasn't spoken to me in over ... | 8 |
95 |
25 |
2.69 |
6/2/2009 12:56 pm |
|
|
Health food's ass !
Forget them damn health foods. I need all the preservatives
I can get. I am 55 you know. Canned foods please!  ... | 4 |
36 |
11 |
0.18 |
6/2/2009 12:41 pm |
|
|
Divorce !
There are two sides to every divorce: Yours and Fuckhead's!
   ... | 3 |
49 |
13 |
1.80 |
6/2/2009 12:35 pm |
|
|
Use both hands boy !
A Tennessee state trooper pulls over a young man in a
pickup on a lonely state highway that is driving erratic.
The trooper had noticed that the man driving had a woman
passenger that was ... | 3 |
109 |
15 |
1.45 |
6/2/2009 11:50 am |
|
|
The beautifully colored dress !
The preacher told a little 9 year old girl before church
as she stood by her big titted beautiful blonde headed mom,
"Honey that's a beautifully colored dress you're
wearing this Sunday morning." ... | 3 |
107 |
17 |
1.29 |
6/1/2009 4:02 pm |
|
|
Birthday's & Anniversary's !
Most married men learn that the most effective way to
remember your wife's birthday or your anniversary
is to forget it one time.
Same thing with single guys or men that are shacked up ... | 8 |
88 |
42 |
0.93 |
6/1/2009 9:41 am |
|
|
A spank on the bottom !
An old country doctor went way out to the boondocks to
deliver a baby. It was so far out, there was no electricity.
When the doctor arrived, no one was home except for the laboring
mother and her ... | 5 |
124 |
28 |
2.21 |
5/30/2009 2:28 pm |
|
|
Senior Driving !
As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his
car phone rang.
Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning
him, 'Herman, I just heard on the news that there's
a fucking ... | 5 |
106 |
20 |
2.36 |
5/25/2009 5:08 pm |
|
|
Two elderly women !
Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades.
Over the years, they had shared all kinds of activities
and adventures.
Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a
few ... | 6 |
159 |
31 |
0.46 |
5/25/2009 5:01 pm |
|
|
A Woman's Rule of Thumb !
If it has tires or testicles, you're going to have trouble
with ... | 4 |
39 |
12 |
2.45 |
5/25/2009 4:50 pm |
|
|
Make love, not war !
Hell, do both, GET MARRIED!... | 18 |
133 |
57 |
1.84 |
5/25/2009 4:48 pm |
|
|
Kisses, Hugs & Smiles
"If a kiss were a raindrop, I'd send you showers.
If hugs were a second, I'd send you hours.
If smiles were water, I'd send you the sea. ... | 6 |
62 |
19 |
2.60 |
5/25/2009 3:37 pm |
|
|
The Sheriff hated my guts !
I was found hanged from a tree limb with barbed wire in
my small southern town. I had seven knives in my back and
my throat was cut from ear to ear. My wrist were cut also.
I had been shot by a ... | 6 |
123 |
23 |
1.96 |
5/19/2009 5:50 pm |
|
|
Rainey days and Mondays !
You can use your "own hometown" when referring
to this little question; What do you
call West, Tennessee after a two day rain?
Answer; Mon... | 4 |
45 |
18 |
2.31 |
5/11/2009 4:29 am |
|
|
The perfect man !
The perfect man is gentle. He is never cruel or mean.
He has a beautiful smile and keeps his face so clean.
The perfect man likes children and will raise them by your
side. He will be a ... | 10 |
81 |
25 |
3.13 |
4/24/2009 5:15 pm |
|
|
Her firm breasts !
A man comes home from work and finds his wife admiring
her breasts in the mirror.
He asks, “What are you doing?”
She replies, “I went to the doctor today, and he told me I
have ... | 17 |
171 |
44 |
3.38 |
4/24/2009 1:16 pm |
|
|
Not this time !
A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters but
always talked about having a son.
They decided to try one last time for the son they always
wanted. The wife got pregnant and ... | 6 |
484 |
54 |
0.08 |
4/24/2009 12:53 pm |
|
|
You're in the Army now !
Fifty-one years ago, Herman, Tennessee mountain man,
was drafted by the Army.
On his first day in basic training, the Army issued him a comb. That afternoon the Army barber sheared
off ... | 10 |
75 |
38 |
1.99 |
4/24/2009 12:44 pm |
|
|
Old realtives !
When I was younger I hated going to weddings. It seemed
that all of my aunts and the grandmotherly types used to
come up to me, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling
me, "You're next." ... | 11 |
185 |
57 |
0.58 |
4/24/2009 12:11 pm |
|
|
Sick call !
Kung Chow called his boss and said: "Hey, boss
I not come work today, I really sick. I got headache, stomach
ache, leg hurt, I not come work."
The boss says: "Kung Chow I really need you ... | 9 |
156 |
35 |
4.21 |
4/24/2009 11:56 am |
|
|
Paranoid !
By the time the soldier pulled into the little town,
every hotel room was taken. "You've got to have
a room somewhere, " he pleaded with a proprietor.
"Well, I do have a double room with ... | 9 |
153 |
35 |
3.85 |
4/23/2009 3:24 pm |
|
|
For you Libra gals !
Libras - has it been good for you?
Two LIBRAN Nuns are riding their bicycles down the back
streets of Rome .
One leans over to the other and says, "I've never
come this way ... | 5 |
96 |
40 |
0.00 |
4/22/2009 2:45 pm |
|
|
The thrill is gone !
The thrill is gone from my marriage", a man tells
his friend.
"Why not add some intrigue to your life and have an
affair?" the friend suggested.
"What if my wife finds out?' the ... | 12 |
199 |
47 |
1.68 |
4/22/2009 2:40 pm |
|
|
It's them Blondes !
A man approached a beautiful blonde at a bar.
"I'd like to call you, " he said. "What
is your phone number?"
"It's in the phone book, " she replied.
"But I don't know ... | 4 |
131 |
23 |
2.78 |
4/22/2009 2:06 pm |
|
|
For people that remember Bob hope !
May 29, 1903 - July 27, 2003
ON TURNING 70 "You still chase women, but only
downhill".
ON TURNING 80 "That's the time of your life even
when even your ... | 5 |
105 |
45 |
0.90 |
4/20/2009 1:21 pm |
|
|
Click to listen ! ?
Is it just me or is the "Click to listen' instead
of typing in the number to submit your response showing
up more these days?
Since I don't have any speakers hooked up anymore,
(tired of ... | 8 |
95 |
38 |
1.83 |
4/20/2009 11:23 am |
|
|
Lord have mercy !
How do you tell that you have a high sperm count?
Your girlfriend has to chew before she swallows.... | 7 |
80 |
60 |
0.00 |
4/16/2009 8:26 am |
|
|
The Exterminator !
The lovers passionately embraced on her bed, their
bodies fused together as they gyrated to their own tune.
The woman cocked her ear, "Quick, it's my husband coming through the front
door. Hide ... | 10 |
174 |
82 |
0.82 |
4/15/2009 10:58 am |
|
|
Sex quotes !
What do I know about sex? I'm a married man."
- Tom Clancy
"I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural,
wholesomethings that money can buy." - Steve Martin
"You ... | 4 |
150 |
62 |
0.00 |
4/15/2009 10:49 am |
|
|
Women's love lives !
Three women were talking about their love lives.
The first said, "My husband is like a Rolls-Royce;
smooth and sophisticated."
The second said, "Mine is like a porsche; fast and ... | 5 |
89 |
48 |
0.60 |
4/15/2009 10:34 am |
|
|
The Hurricane speaks !
What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?
Hold on to your nuts, this is going to be one hell of a blowjob!"... | 11 |
78 |
65 |
0.11 |
4/15/2009 10:30 am |
|
|
Soy beans & Vibrators !
What do soy beans and vibrators have in common?
They are both meat substitutes.... | 5 |
61 |
41 |
0.18 |
4/15/2009 10:28 am |
|
|
Mike Tyson's eyes !
How come Mike Tyson's eyes water during sex?
Mace ! ... | 7 |
82 |
64 |
0.00 |
4/15/2009 10:26 am |
|
|
True or not?
What do a pizza delivery guy and a gynecologist have
in common?
They can both smell it, but they can't eat it.... | 4 |
42 |
36 |
0.00 |
4/15/2009 10:24 am |
|
|
It's the truth !
Why are electric trains like women's breasts?
They were designed for kids, but the father usually winds
up playing with them.... | 13 |
124 |
188 |
0.00 |
4/15/2009 10:22 am |
|
|
Erotic sex & kinky sex ! ?
What is the difference between erotic sex and freaky
sex?
During erotic sex you use a feather, during freaky sex you
use the whole damn chicken.... | 11 |
198 |
124 |
0.00 |
4/15/2009 10:18 am |
|
|
Love?
One morning while making breakfast, a man walks up to
his wife and pinches her on her butt and says, "You
know if you firmed this up we could get rid of your girdle."
While this was on ... | 6 |
82 |
48 |
0.80 |
4/15/2009 10:13 am |
|
|
Two little pillows !
Here's to two little pillows
Trimmed in lace...
Two hot bellies
Laying face to face...
A mouth full of tittie
A belly full of rum...
A pussy ... | 6 |
66 |
41 |
0.18 |
4/15/2009 10:10 am |
|
|
The AFOSI man!
There was a young man in the Air Force who had become an
AFOSI agent that was so well- endowed that it was bothering
his knee. He decided that surgery was the only way to deal
with the problem. ... | 6 |
165 |
93 |
0.25 |
4/8/2009 8:12 am |
|
|
Orientation in heaven !
Three friends die in a car accident and they go to an orientation
in heaven.
They are all asked, "When you are in your casket and
friends and family are mourning you, what would you like ... | 10 |
168 |
115 |
1.60 |
4/8/2009 8:06 am |
|
|
A Perfectly Reasonable Explanation !
A woman is driving into a small town and slams on the brakes
as a coyote runs across the road in front of her.
Just as she regains her wits and gets ready to proceed, a
cowboy runs right ... | 7 |
191 |
79 |
1.05 |
4/7/2009 11:31 am |
|
|
For men only ! ! !
5 RULES FOR MEN TO FOLLOW TO A HAPPY LIFE
1. It's important to have a woman who helps at home,
who cooks from time to time, cleans up and has a job.
2. ... | 9 |
201 |
111 |
0.07 |
4/7/2009 10:25 am |
|
|
DON'T STEP ON THE DUCKS!
Three women die together in an accident and go to heaven.
When they get there, St. Peter says, "We only have
one rule here in heaven: don't step on the ducks!"
So they enter ... | 6 |
191 |
75 |
1.04 |
4/6/2009 9:57 am |
|
|
Serious Medical Condition!
Queen Elizabeth II was visiting one of New York's
finest hospitals and during her tour of the wards she passed
a room where one of the male patients was masturbating.
"Oh God, " said the ... | 7 |
160 |
77 |
1.73 |
4/6/2009 9:44 am |
|
|
A Very Busy Englishman!
A man goes to the doctor and says "Doc, you gotta
help me!" The doctor says "What's your
problem?"
The guy says "Every morning I wake up with my 'morning
flagpole' I give the missus a ... | 6 |
173 |
78 |
0.00 |
4/6/2009 9:36 am |
|
|
Gramps !
A woman is in a grocery store and happens upon a grandpa
and his poorly behaving 3 year-old grandson at every turn.
It's obvious Gramps has his hands full with the kid screaming for candy
in the ... | 12 |
204 |
167 |
1.53 |
4/3/2009 11:27 am |
|
|
A Doctor speaking in front of an audience !
The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have
killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is awful.
Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining.
Chinese food is loaded with ... | 11 |
174 |
152 |
0.81 |
4/3/2009 11:21 am |
|
|
Southern Airlines !
The huge Southern Airlines Jumbo jet is just coming
into the Nashville International Airport on its final approach. The pilot comes on over the
intercom. "This is Capt. Johnson, we're on our ... | 7 |
170 |
85 |
1.27 |
4/3/2009 9:36 am |
|
|
Are Us Men Really Like This?
If you Treat him nicely, he says you are in Love with him.
If you don't Treat him nicely, he says you are Proud.
If you Argue with him, he says you are Stubborn. If you Keep ... | 18 |
156 |
151 |
0.94 |
4/2/2009 12:21 pm |
|
|
Rules of Manhood !
1: Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.
2: It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances:
(a) when a heroic dog dies to save its master. (b) The ...
| 12 |
179 |
231 |
0.02 |
4/2/2009 12:17 pm |
|
|
Adam & Eve !
In the Garden of Eden, as everyone knows, Lives Adam
and Eve, without any clothes.
In this garden, were two little leaves, one covered Adam's,
one covered Eve's.
As the story ... | 8 |
113 |
109 |
0.00 |
4/2/2009 11:50 am |
|
|
The Last 11 Things Any Man Would Ever Say!
1. I think Barry Manilow is one cool motherfucker.
2. While I'm up, can I get you a beer?
3. I think hairy butts are really sexy.
4. Her tits are just too big.
... | 8 |
159 |
121 |
0.22 |
4/2/2009 11:00 am |
|
|
The Last 11 Things Any Woman Would Ever Say !
1. Could our relationship be more physical? I'm
tired of just being friends.
2. Go ahead and leave the seat up, it's easier for me
to douche that way.
3. I think hairy butts are ... | 11 |
170 |
172 |
0.07 |
4/2/2009 10:52 am |
|
|
After Sex Astrological Statements !
Aries: "Okay, let's do it again!"
Taurus: "I'm hungry pass the pizza."
Gemini: "Have you seen the remote?"
Cancer: "When are we getting married?"
Leo: "Wasn't I ... | 12 |
142 |
147 |
0.19 |
4/2/2009 10:43 am |
|
|
G-Man !
The most terrifying words in the English language are,
"I'm a Government agent and I'm here to help."... | 24 |
259 |
389 |
0.39 |
3/27/2009 11:33 am |
|
|
Looking when you've gotten older!
Have you ever been date hunting and be guilty of looking
at people your age or near your age and thinking, "SURELY
I CAN'T LOOK THAT OLD?... | 23 |
207 |
311 |
0.48 |
3/27/2009 11:30 am |
|
|
Computer Trouble !
I was having trouble with my computer. So, I called Richard,
the 11 year old next door whose bedroom looks like Mission
Control, and asked him to come over.
Richard clicked a couple of ... | 17 |
359 |
215 |
0.66 |
3/16/2009 11:51 am |
|
|
Get it?
Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were playing
golf one fine March day. One remarked to the other, 'Windy, isn't it?'
'No, ' the second man replied, 'it's
Thursday.'
And ... | 9 |
208 |
128 |
0.87 |
3/16/2009 11:46 am |
|
|
The Relationship !
Regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at
first, the passion fades, and there had better be a lot of
money to take it's place. ... | 14 |
169 |
158 |
0.00 |
3/16/2009 11:29 am |
|
|
Butterface!
Heard this on John-boy and Billy this morning on the
radio; I like everything about my girlfriend "but
her face." ... | 16 |
185 |
248 |
0.00 |
2/28/2009 9:49 am |
|
|
Homeland Security test !
A man seeking to join a border state's Homeland
Security is being interviewed.
The G-man doing the interview says: "Your qualifications
all look good, but there is an attitude suitability ... | 15 |
213 |
146 |
0.39 |
2/27/2009 10:24 am |
|
|
A MAN'S POEM !
I pray for a deaf-mute gymnast nymphomaniac with huge
boobs who owns a bar on a golf course, and loves to send me
fishing and drinking.
This doesn't rhyme and I don't give a shit.... | 10 |
127 |
174 |
0.00 |
2/27/2009 10:17 am |
|
|
A WOMAN'S POEM !
Before I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man, who's not a creep,
One who's handsome, smart and strong.
One who loves to listen long,
One who thinks before he ... | 13 |
133 |
183 |
0.76 |
2/27/2009 10:15 am |
|
|
The Wall !
A female CNN journalist heard about a very old Jewish
man who had been going to the Western Wall to pray, twice
a day, every day, for a long, long time.
So she went to check it out. She ... | 20 |
164 |
220 |
0.42 |
2/27/2009 10:10 am |
|
|
Tax deadline !
Your income taxes are normally due on April 15th unless
that date falls on a Saturday or Sunday in which case theyʼre
due Monday the 16th or 17th.
However, I have been told of a ... | 13 |
196 |
177 |
0.00 |
2/27/2009 10:08 am |
|
|
Little girl & the teacher !
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale
to swallow a human because even though it was a very large
mammal its throat was ... | 16 |
243 |
235 |
0.23 |
2/26/2009 10:29 am |
|
|
Sex secret no. 37
I haven't had any pussy or had my dick sucked in a
long time. (Thats by women only also.)
I guess the jig is now up or maybe over for good now for me.
And what about you? ... | 40 |
426 |
283 |
0.34 |
12/2/2008 9:30 am |
|
|
Dating quiz no. 113
What does it take for a man my age to get a date with a gal
anymore other than money?
In my 20's and 30's it was great.
In my 40's it was good
In my 50's a big 0-thats ... | 18 |
203 |
296 |
0.23 |
11/26/2008 9:00 am |
|
|
Stop dating !
Stop all that god damn sucking and fucking and then you'll
be safe.
You hear me!?
~ROFLMAO~ ... | 15 |
129 |
120 |
0.00 |
11/25/2008 12:29 pm |
|
|
Good enuf !
Hillbilly father talking to his newlywed son: How's
yer new bride boy?
Son: I had to kill her, Pa. She was a virgin.
Dad: Yew done tha right thang, son. If she weren't good
enuf ... | 12 |
188 |
92 |
1.06 |
11/25/2008 9:05 am |
|
|
As always ! ! !
A man took a trip out West after a harrowing divorce proceeding.
He stopped in a bar, and after a few drinks, stated to no one
in particular, "Lawyers are horses' asses."
One of ... | 7 |
150 |
70 |
1.20 |
11/25/2008 9:04 am |
|
|
The secretary !
A secretary comes in late for work for the third day in
a row, so her boss calls her into his office.
"Look, Sharon, " he says irritably. "I
know we had a wild fling for a while, but ... | 7 |
174 |
109 |
0.14 |
11/25/2008 9:00 am |
|
|
Thats right ! ROFL !
Two old people, a man and a woman, walk into a hospital.
The doctor says to the old man, "I'll need a urine
sample, a feces sample, and a blood sample."
The old man says, "What?" So the ... | 11 |
148 |
74 |
1.82 |
11/24/2008 9:44 am |
|
|
Buying the Thanksgiving turkey !
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the
Piggly Wiggly store but she couldn't find one big enough
for her family for Thanksgiving.
She asked a stock boy, "Do these ... | 7 |
135 |
58 |
1.33 |
11/24/2008 9:42 am |
|
|
Turkey poem !
When I was a young turkey, New to the coop, My big brother Tom Took me out on the stoop, Then he sat me down, And he spoke real slow, And he told me there was Something that I just had to know. .. ... | 11 |
123 |
98 |
0.86 |
11/24/2008 9:24 am |
|
|
Naturally ! ! !
The bank helped me get back on my feet. They reposed my
car. ... | 14 |
135 |
133 |
0.42 |
11/24/2008 9:20 am |
|
|
Hooters Airline !
It was mealtime during a flight on Hooters Airline.
A blonde busty flight attendant asked a male passenger,
"Would you like dinner?"
"What are my choices?" The passenger asked. ... | 7 |
172 |
56 |
0.97 |
11/21/2008 11:34 am |
|
|
Thanksgivings coming !
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the
Piggly Wiggly store but she couldn't find one big enough
for her family for Thanksgiving.
She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get ... | 12 |
119 |
101 |
1.51 |
11/21/2008 11:29 am |
|
|
Hospital donation center !
A man and a woman were waiting in line at the hospital
donation center.
Man: "What are you doing here today?"
Woman: "Oh, I'm here to donate some blood. They're
going to give me ... | 13 |
178 |
89 |
1.66 |
11/21/2008 10:40 am |
|
|
Ladies toilet !
A rather attractive woman goes up to the bar in a quiet
rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the barman who comes
over immediately.
When he arrives, she seductively signals that he ... | 15 |
141 |
124 |
1.02 |
11/21/2008 10:36 am |
|
|
Sign of the times !
You try to enter your password on the microwave.
You haven't played solitaire with a real deck of cards
in a year.
You have a list of fifteen phone numbers to reach your family ... | 16 |
146 |
125 |
0.00 |
11/21/2008 10:33 am |
|
|
Rednecks Lamenting !
Two Rednecks were sitting at the rural area bar, lamenting
their lack of a sex life.
One looks out the window, and across the road is a sheep stuck
half way through a fence, with its butt ... | 9 |
155 |
63 |
0.30 |
11/21/2008 10:30 am |
|
|
Naturally ! ! !
A gang of robbers broke into a lawyer's club by mistake.
The old legal lions gave them a fight for their life and their
money. The gang was very happy to escape.
"It ain't so bad, " one ... | 11 |
134 |
131 |
0.09 |
11/21/2008 10:27 am |
|
|
The hunting dog !
Chester and Earl are going hunting. Chester says to
Earl, "I'll send my dog out to see if there are
any ducks out in the pond. If there aren't any ducks
out there, I'm not going hunting." ...
| 8 |
154 |
52 |
1.73 |
11/21/2008 10:24 am |
|
|
Ethics for the patient !
1. Do not expect your doctor to share your discomfort.
Involvement with the patient's suffering might cause
him to lose valuable scientific objectivity.
2. Be cheerful at all times. Your ... | 12 |
148 |
127 |
0.00 |
11/21/2008 10:20 am |
|
|
Ole blue ! Of course !
A young farm lad from North Iowa goes off to college,
but about 1/3 of the way through the semester, he has foolishly
squandered away all of the money his parents gave him.
Then he gets ... | 11 |
129 |
76 |
1.80 |
11/21/2008 10:10 am |
|
|
The little helper !
Here's a truly heartwarming story about the bond
formed between a little 5-year-old girl and some construction
workers that makes you believe that we CAN make a difference
when we give a child the ... | 11 |
140 |
119 |
0.76 |
11/21/2008 10:04 am |
|
|
ROFLMAO !
Two old people, a man and a woman, walk into a hospital.
The doctor says to the old man, "I'll need a urine
sample, a feces sample, and a blood sample."
The old man says, "What?" So the ... | 9 |
192 |
131 |
0.46 |
11/21/2008 8:16 am |
|
|
ROFLMAO ! ! !
Two old people, a man and a woman, walk into a hospital.
The doctor says to the old man, "I'll need a urine
sample, a feces sample, and a blood sample."
The old man says, "What?" So the ... | 19 |
202 |
260 |
0.00 |
11/20/2008 11:59 am |
|
|
Signs you are drunk !
1. You lose arguments with inanimate objects.
2. You have to hold on to the lawn to keep from falling off
the earth.
3. Your job starts to interfere with your drinking.
... | 12 |
120 |
111 |
0.07 |
11/20/2008 11:57 am |
|
|
The dogs !
Two foreign immigrants have just arrived in the United
States by boat and one says to the other, "I hear that
the people of this country actually eat dogs." "Odd, "
her companion replies, "but if ... | 8 |
159 |
102 |
1.25 |
11/19/2008 8:39 am |
|
|
Neutered dog !
A woman had her dog neutered because she was told it would
curb the animal's aggression. But the next day it savaged
the postmana usual.
"I'm so sorry, " she said, rushing to the
man's ... | 8 |
151 |
101 |
1.06 |
11/19/2008 8:37 am |
|
|
Half sisters ! ?
A couple had been married for many years, and their son
was old enough to date. One day the boy brought a girl over
to dinner. The mother was thrilled with her son's choice
and couldn't wait for ... | 9 |
222 |
120 |
1.37 |
11/18/2008 9:48 am |
|
|
Don't listen to him !
A couple had been married for many years, and their son
was old enough to date. One day the boy brought a girl over
to dinner. The mother was thrilled with her son's choice
and couldn't wait for ... | 7 |
205 |
123 |
0.07 |
11/18/2008 9:46 am |
|
|
Thanksgiving !
May your stuffing be tasty
May your turkey plump,
May your potatoes and gravy
Have never a lump.
May your yams be delicious
And your pies take the ... | 11 |
118 |
131 |
1.50 |
11/17/2008 9:38 am |
|
|
Happy Thanksgiving!
A game warden was driving down the road when he came upon
a young boy carrying a wild turkey under his arm.?
He stopped and asked the boy, 'Where did you get that
turkey?'?
The ... | 14 |
229 |
240 |
0.49 |
11/17/2008 9:36 am |
|
|
Hags !
The Doctor informed his patient that he had a nasty caseof
Hags.
"What the hell is Hags?" asked the patient.
"It's a combination of herpes, AIDS, gonorrhea
and syphilis, " ... | 8 |
159 |
91 |
1.15 |
11/14/2008 10:04 am |
|
|
Marriage from hell ! ! !
A few minutes before the church services started, the
townspeople were sitting in their pews and talking.
Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the church.
Everyone started ... | 8 |
191 |
94 |
1.73 |
11/13/2008 10:17 am |
|
|
Bank Policy ! ? Good One !
A crusty old man walks into a bank and says to the teller
at the window, "I want to open a god damn fucking checking
account."
The astonished woman replies, "I beg your pardon,
sir. I ... | 12 |
194 |
115 |
1.84 |
11/12/2008 8:38 am |
|
|
Smoking & Joking !
My dicks on hard and my balls are smoking.
I want some and I ain't joking.
... | 20 |
120 |
157 |
0.61 |
11/12/2008 8:00 am |
|
|
An old saying !
You know the old saying;
The best way to get over someone is to get under someone.... | 22 |
118 |
181 |
1.20 |
11/12/2008 7:50 am |
|
|
We learn the hard way !
Most men learn that the most effective way to remember
your wife's birthday is to forget it one time. ... | 22 |
115 |
169 |
1.28 |
11/11/2008 1:39 pm |
|
|
Wife wanted ! ?
A man took out a classified ad saying "Wife wanted".
The next day he received a thousand responses saying "You
can have mine." ... | 15 |
114 |
146 |
0.55 |
11/11/2008 1:26 pm |
|
|
LICKED CLEAN AS PROMISED !!!!!
One day this old man was driving for hours through the
country side and had to shit urgently. He sees an old store
off the side of the road, proceeds to the washroom and barely
gets his pants down ... | 9 |
167 |
104 |
1.49 |
11/11/2008 1:19 pm |
|
|
Old man health tip ! ?
Don't pick fights with old men. If they think they're
're too old to fight, they'll just kill you.
... | 21 |
113 |
168 |
1.81 |
11/11/2008 1:13 pm |
|
|
Eating healthy ! ?
Forget the health food.
I need to eat all the canned foods I can to get all the preservatives
I can get.
I am 54 you know. ... | 18 |
120 |
156 |
1.16 |
11/11/2008 1:07 pm |
|
|
Getting old !
Getting old is mandatory; growing up is optional.... | 17 |
112 |
144 |
0.57 |
11/11/2008 12:51 pm |
|
|
Sex & money !
Sex is one of the most beautiful, natural and wholesome things that money can buy. ... | 13 |
149 |
223 |
0.08 |
11/11/2008 9:15 am |
|
|
Divorce ! ! !
The word "divorce, " from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals up through
his ass, through his Levi's and plumb through his wallet
and on to freedom. ... | 16 |
167 |
179 |
0.77 |
11/11/2008 9:10 am |
|
|
Mental health !
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.... | 20 |
106 |
128 |
1.11 |
11/11/2008 9:04 am |
|
|
The little boy and girl !
A little boy and a little girl were playing. The little
boy exposes himself, and pointing says, "My daddy
says I have one of these and you don't!"
The little girl very upset by this runs ... | 14 |
577 |
131 |
1.10 |
11/11/2008 8:52 am |
|
|
The pilot !
A plane was taking off from Kennedy Airport. After it
reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain
made an announcement over the intercom, "Ladies and gentlemen, this is
your captain ... | 8 |
160 |
79 |
2.38 |
11/11/2008 8:48 am |
|
|
Women's four favorite animals !
What are a woman's four favorite animals?
A mink in the closet, a Jaguar in the garage, a tiger in the
bedroom, and an ass to pay for it all. ... | 19 |
106 |
136 |
0.68 |
11/11/2008 8:41 am |
|
|
Love ! ?
Man says to God: "God, why did you make woman so
beautiful?"
God says: "So you would love her."
"But God, " the man says, "Why did you
make her so dumb?"
God says: "So ... | 17 |
113 |
115 |
1.69 |
11/11/2008 8:39 am |
|
|
A man's company !
When does a woman care for a man's company?
When he owns it. ... | 16 |
121 |
133 |
1.08 |
11/11/2008 8:34 am |
|
|
Obama is looking for a change !
One day in the future, Barack Obama has a heart-attack
and dies. He immediately goes to hell, where the devil is
waiting for him.
"I don't know what to do here, " says the
devil. "You are ... | 10 |
203 |
153 |
1.31 |
11/10/2008 11:34 am |
|
|
Poupon !
As ham sandwiches go, it was perfection: a thick slab
of ham on a fresh bun with crisp lettuce and plenty of expensive,
light brown, Gourmet Mustard.
The corners of my jaw aching in ... | 8 |
112 |
91 |
0.42 |
11/10/2008 8:24 am |
|
|
Getting even !
One December day we found an old straggly cat at our door.
She was a sorry sight. Starving, dirty, smelled terrible,
skinny, and hair all matted down. We felt sorry for her so
we put her in a ... | 8 |
135 |
119 |
0.85 |
11/10/2008 8:21 am |
|
|
Ski trip !
Jack decided to go skiing with his buddy, Bob. So they
loaded up Jack's minivan and headed north. After driving
for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard.
So they pulled into a ... | 8 |
143 |
76 |
1.76 |
11/8/2008 9:34 am |
|
|
Change we can believe in for sure !
One day in the future, Barack Obama has a heart-attack
and dies. He immediately goes to hell, where the devil is
waiting for him.
"I don't know what to do here, " says the
devil. "You are ... | 18 |
290 |
546 |
0.00 |
11/8/2008 8:20 am |
|
|
In the future !
One day in the future, Barack Obama has a heart-attack
and dies. He immediately goes to hell, where the devil is
waiting for him.
"I don't know what to do here, " says the
devil. "You are ... | 10 |
140 |
166 |
0.00 |
11/8/2008 8:17 am |
|
|
Bull grapevine!
Three bulls heard via the grapevine that the rancher
was going to bring yet another bull onto the ranch, and the
prospect raised a discussion among them.
First Bull: Boys, we all know ... | 9 |
139 |
89 |
1.35 |
11/7/2008 12:27 pm |
|
|
I wrote the son of a bitch !
The owner of a world-class hotel is in desperate need
of a pianist for the grand piano in the lobby.
He sees hundreds of applicants, but none are qualified.
Finally, a bum ... | 10 |
180 |
118 |
0.69 |
11/6/2008 11:28 am |
|
|
He writes the songs.....
The owner of a world-class hotel is in desperate need
of a pianist for the grand piano in the lobby.
He sees hundreds of applicants, but none are qualified.
Finally, a bum ... | 14 |
127 |
129 |
0.00 |
11/5/2008 10:54 am |
|
|
Him & Her ?
John met Sharon in a nightclub. They enjoyed each other's
company very much & at the end of the evening Sharon
invited John to her place, where they quickly got involved
in a very passionate & ... | 12 |
201 |
167 |
0.42 |
11/4/2008 12:23 pm |
|
|
Retired, with a job!
I've often been asked, 'What do you old folks
do now that you're retired?'
Well, I'm fortunate to have a few friends who have chemical
engineering backgrounds, and one of the things we ... | 11 |
203 |
175 |
0.26 |
11/3/2008 9:16 am |
|
|
The Nun and the Priest !
A nun and a priest are riding a camel through the desert.
After a few days the camel falls over dead. After looking
over the situation the priest figures neither one of them
will survive the rest ... | 12 |
215 |
192 |
0.70 |
10/31/2008 10:49 am |
|
|
That's right !
A little boy and a little girl were playing. The little
boy exposes himself, and pointing says, "My daddy
says I have one of these and you don't!"
The little girl very upset by ... | 7 |
175 |
122 |
0.88 |
10/30/2008 11:41 am |
|
|
Casey Jones ! ! !
Casey Jones was a son of a bitch
He ran his engine in a helluva ditch
He climbed out the window with his dick in his hand
And said, "Excuse me ladies, I'm a railroad ... | 18 |
116 |
127 |
1.10 |
10/30/2008 9:57 am |
|
|
The CHANGE ! ! !
I believe I want to try and keep my freedom, my sanity,
my guns and my money.
Some of you can keep "THE CHANGE." ... | 40 |
557 |
1275 |
0.06 |
10/30/2008 9:53 am |
|
|
'Twas the night before election!
'Twas the night before elections And all through
the town, Tempers were flaring emotions up and down! I,
in my bathrobe with a dog in my lap, I cut off the TV tired of
political crap. When all of ... | 43 |
572 |
1588 |
0.00 |
10/29/2008 7:36 am |
|
|
The Southern big bellied sheriff !
A black man was found hanged from a tree limb with barbed
wire in a small southern town. He had seven knives in his
back and his throat was cut from ear to ear. His wrist were
cut also. He had ... | 13 |
248 |
170 |
0.00 |
10/28/2008 10:13 am |
|
|
Stay of Execution !
An attorney arrived home late, after a very tough day
trying to get a stay of execution. His last minute plea for
clemency to the governor had failed and he was feeling worn
out and depressed. ... | 7 |
160 |
111 |
1.01 |
10/27/2008 8:18 am |
|
|
The old man!
An older man approached an attractive younger woman
at a shopping mall. 'Excuse me; I can't seem to
find my wife. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?'
The woman, feeling a bit of ... | 8 |
203 |
109 |
0.24 |
10/24/2008 10:12 am |
|
|
It's that fucking Bubba again!
Bubba walked into a doctor's office and the receptionist
asked him what he had. Bubba said: "Shingles."
So she wrote down his name, address, medical insurance
number and told him to have a seat. ... | 7 |
163 |
118 |
0.57 |
10/23/2008 10:14 am |
|
|
Senior church moment!
A Preacher was explaining that he must move on to a larger
congregation that will pay him more. There is a hush within
the congregation, No one wanted him to leave.
Joe, who owns several ... | 7 |
145 |
89 |
0.01 |
10/23/2008 10:12 am |
|
|
Another riddle for the day!
Arnold Schwarzenagger has a big one. Michael Fox has
a small one. Madonna doesn't have one. The Pope has
one but doesn't use it. Clinton uses his all the time.
Bush is one. Mickey Mouse has an ... | 17 |
222 |
284 |
0.00 |
10/23/2008 10:05 am |
|
|
For better or for worse!
A huge man married a petite and innocent girl who was
a virgin.
He was sexually experienced and suggested having sex "doggie
style" on their wedding night. She didn't know
what he was ... | 7 |
211 |
84 |
0.00 |
10/22/2008 9:27 am |
|
|
Looking for the perfect wife!
There was a man who wanted a pure wife. So he started to
attend church to find a woman. He met a gal who seemed nice
so he took her home. When they got there, he whips out his manhood and
asks ... | 9 |
181 |
103 |
1.84 |
10/21/2008 11:08 am |
|
|
The hitter!
Jack and his friends were playing golf one Saturday.
As they are getting ready to tee off, a guy walks up and asks
if he can join them.
The friends look at each other, look at ... | 10 |
178 |
169 |
0.04 |
10/21/2008 10:54 am |
|
|
Quote for the day!
'Whatever you give a woman, she's going to
multiply.
If you give her sperm, she’ll give you a baby.
If you give her a house, she'll give you a home.
If you give her ... | 17 |
228 |
384 |
0.18 |
10/21/2008 9:24 am |
|
|
Friends vs Southern Friends!
FRIENDS: Never ask for food.
SOUTHERN FRIENDS: Always bring the food.
FRIENDS: Will say 'hello'.
SOUTHERN FRIENDS: Will give you a big hug and a kiss.
FRIENDS: ... | 9 |
134 |
172 |
1.29 |
10/20/2008 8:08 am |
|
|
Riddle of the day!
Hillary, Biden and Obama were on a donkey, in a boat,
going down the river. The river rapids were extremely rough.
The boat capsized.
Who was saved?
... | 7 |
158 |
139 |
1.26 |
10/20/2008 8:06 am |
|
|
The dead Camel
A nun and a priest are riding a camel through the desert.
After a few days the camel falls over dead. After looking
over the situation the priest figures neither one of them
will survive the rest ... | 8 |
130 |
78 |
1.92 |
10/17/2008 1:14 pm |
|
|
Premature ejaculation!!!
A man was having problems with premature ejaculation,
so he decided to go to the doctor.
He asked the doctor what he could do to cure his problem.
In response, the doctor said, "When you ... | 11 |
166 |
63 |
1.62 |
10/16/2008 1:34 pm |
|
|
Little boy & girl !
A little boy and a little girl were playing. The little
boy exposes himself, and pointing says" my daddy
says I have one of these and you don't!".
The little girl very upset by this runs ... | 7 |
149 |
69 |
0.68 |
10/16/2008 1:27 pm |
|
|
FIX THIS SITE! - I know 100% a troll that blocks responders!
Yea ole E-Pole troll boy boy blocked me for saying, "Again?
Aw geez!
He sure knows how to fix that function don't he?
Adult FriendFinder... | 28 |
406 |
869 |
0.00 |
10/15/2008 8:30 am |
|
|
Life and times!
Before you say an unkind word - Think of someone who can't
Speak.
Before You complain about the taste of your food - Think
of someone Who has nothing to eat.
Before You complain ... | 14 |
157 |
256 |
0.28 |
10/14/2008 9:28 am |
|
|
The 10 commandments!
The real reason that we can't have the 10 Commandments
posted in a courthouse is this: You cannot post 'Thou Shalt Not Steal, ' 'Thou
Shalt Not Commit Adultery, ' and 'Thou Shall
Not Lie' in a ... | 10 |
112 |
126 |
1.28 |
10/14/2008 9:24 am |
|
|
The Constitution!
They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for
Iraq. Why don't we just give them ours? It was written by a lot of really smart
guys, it has worked for over 200 years, and we're not
using it ... | 11 |
119 |
124 |
0.91 |
10/14/2008 9:21 am |
|
|
The Marine White House guard!
Last Tuesday, as President Bush got off the Helicopter
in front of the White House, he was carrying a baby piglet
under each arm.
The squared away Marine guard snaps to attention, ...
| 9 |
126 |
75 |
2.07 |
10/14/2008 9:17 am |
|
|
haha
pussy lol lol ... | 18 |
187 |
300 |
0.57 |
10/9/2008 10:54 am |
|
|
The boss!
A secretary comes in late for work for the third day in
a row, so her boss calls her into his office.
"Look, Sharon, " he says irritably. "I
know we had a wild fling for a while, but ... | 9 |
296 |
176 |
1.35 |
10/9/2008 10:50 am |
|
|
Seeing the future?
I believe that banking institutions are more dangerous
to our liberties than standing armies. If the American
people ever allow private banks to control the issue of
their currency, first by ... | 24 |
272 |
595 |
0.26 |
10/8/2008 7:45 am |
|
|
Planning for the future!
How does a man show that he is planning for the future?
He buys two cases of beer. ... | 11 |
117 |
188 |
0.47 |
10/7/2008 9:56 am |
|
|
Lifeline?
I was depressed last night so I called Lifeline.
Got a call center in Pakistan naturally.
I told them I was suicidal.
They got all excited and asked if I could drive a ... | 10 |
155 |
159 |
1.06 |
10/3/2008 8:41 am |
|
|
Be the man of your house?
The husband had just finished reading a new book entitled,
'BE THE MAN OF YOUR HOUSE'.
He stormed into the kitchen and announced to his wife, From
now on, you need to know that I am the ... | 9 |
146 |
146 |
0.72 |
10/2/2008 9:25 am |
|
|
Politics!
A little boy goes to his dad and asks, 'What is Politics?'
Dad says, 'Well son, let me try to explain it this way:
I am the head of the family, so call me The President. Your
mother is ... | 27 |
286 |
721 |
0.34 |
10/2/2008 8:23 am |
|
|
The greatest weight loss plan in the world !
Here it is;
Keep your god damn fucking mouth shut !
... | 45 |
627 |
1224 |
0.00 |
9/26/2008 1:43 pm |
|
|
Wabbits !
A precious little girl walks into a pet shop and asks,
in the sweetest little lisp, between two missing teeth,
"Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep widdle wabbits?"
As the shopkeeper's heart ... | 22 |
277 |
339 |
0.77 |
9/26/2008 12:57 pm |
|
|
Little girl on an airplane !
Barack Obama was seated next to a little girl on an airplane.
He turned to her and said, 'Let's talk. I've
heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation
with your fellow passenger. ... | 9 |
200 |
147 |
0.98 |
9/26/2008 10:54 am |
|
|
Palin !
Before you dismiss the fact that Sarah Palin is Commander
of the Alaska National Guard consider this.
Alaska is the first line of defense in our missile interceptor
defense system. The ... | 11 |
133 |
135 |
0.00 |
9/26/2008 10:50 am |
|
|
Phobias!
Thanks to you, I no longer open a public bathroom door
without using a paper towel.
I now bring plastic cups to all hotels so I don't have
to drink from the glass ones that are wiped with ... | 15 |
281 |
259 |
0.20 |
9/26/2008 10:48 am |
|
|
Crocodiles!
The smaller crocodile turned to the bigger one &
said, 'I can't understand how you can be so much
bigger than me. We're the same age; we were the same
size as kids. I just don't get it.' ... | 12 |
180 |
174 |
1.07 |
9/26/2008 10:44 am |
|
|
Tomato Garden !
An old Italian man lived alone in New Jersey . He wanted
to plant his annual tomato garden, but it was very difficult
work, as the ground was hard. His only son, Vincent, who
used to help him, ... | 13 |
185 |
160 |
1.16 |
9/26/2008 10:43 am |
|
|
Best Irish Toast!
John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, 'Here's
to spending the rest of me life, between the legs of me wife!'
That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of
the night! ... | 8 |
132 |
100 |
0.48 |
9/26/2008 10:41 am |
|
|
My Dog Is Brilliant!
Four men were bragging about how smart their dogs were.
One man was an engineer, the second man was an accountant,
the third man was a chemist, and the fourth was a government
worker. ... | 8 |
148 |
78 |
1.12 |
9/26/2008 10:39 am |
|
|
Signs!
Below are true descriptions of zodiac
signs. This is the real deal, try ignoring or changing it,
and the first thing you ' ll notice is having a horrible
day starting tomorrow morning ... | 17 |
158 |
242 |
0.19 |
9/26/2008 10:38 am |
|
|
Never Argue with a Woman!
One morning the husband returns after several hours
of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar
with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short ... | 11 |
189 |
152 |
1.00 |
9/26/2008 10:30 am |
|
|
Martinis In The Pulpit!
The young priest was so afraid at his first mass that
he could hardly speak. Before his second week in the pulpit,
he asked the monsignor, "How can I relax?"
The monsignor, a veteran of ... | 8 |
107 |
81 |
0.02 |
9/26/2008 10:26 am |
|
|
What a disgrace !
Here ARE STRONG, POWERFUL AND COURAGEOUS
WORDS COMING FROM A RETIRED COLONEL. AND READ WHAT LINCOLN HAD TO SAY AT THE END. WOW!
33 Senators Voted Against ... | 18 |
298 |
395 |
0.50 |
9/20/2008 8:03 am |
|
|
Friends & Pals
Good friends and pals are like stars.........You don't
always see them, but you know they are always there'.
... | 34 |
328 |
615 |
0.00 |
9/19/2008 2:11 pm |
|
|
Lawyer joke, well kinda!
The United Way realized that it had never received a
donation from the city's most successful lawyer.
So a United Way volunteer paid the lawyer a visit in his lavish
office.
The volunteer ... | 8 |
118 |
115 |
0.41 |
9/19/2008 2:06 pm |
|
|
Not meant to be funny! Spamming of the jokes!
This is for folks like me who like to read the jokes.
Just had to say this from what I've been seeing. No I'm
not wanting to be the moderator or the sheriff of the jokes
section but this ... | 20 |
162 |
215 |
0.00 |
9/17/2008 9:53 am |
|
|
Ya might live innTennessee!
If someone in a Lowe's store offers you assistance
and they don't work there, you may live in Tennessee
.
If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you
may live in Tennessee ... | 13 |
134 |
131 |
0.00 |
9/16/2008 10:36 am |
|
|
Ya think?
If you finally decide to mow your shitty gaabie overgrown
yard and find a god damn fucking car out there in it, ya might
be a redneck.
~ROFLMAO~ ... | 18 |
122 |
120 |
1.45 |
9/11/2008 9:55 am |
|
|
Bliss!
The husband had just finished reading a new book entitled,
'YOU CAN BE THE MAN OF YOUR HOUSE AND HAVE BLISS.'
He stormed into the kitchen and announced to his wife, "From
now on, you need ... | 21 |
186 |
235 |
0.97 |
9/10/2008 8:58 am |
|
|
Sometimes!
Sometimes when I'm so lonely
When it makes me cry
No one sees my tears
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
. ... | 9 |
116 |
117 |
0.73 |
9/9/2008 11:00 am |
|
|
R.I.P.
Three weeks ago my doctor said to me, “I’m sorry Kurt,
you only have about half a year to live.”
“Doctor, if I am only going to live just six months, what
can I do for myself in the mean ... | 9 |
122 |
97 |
0.00 |
9/9/2008 10:56 am |
|
|
Focus!
Twin sisters in St.Luke's Nursing Home were turning
one hundred years old. The editor of the local newspaper
told a photographer to get over there and take pictures
of the two 100 year old twins. ... | 13 |
137 |
162 |
0.97 |
9/8/2008 12:21 pm |
|
|
Pastor Fuzz!
The Reverend John Fuzz was a pastor of a small congregation
in a little Pennsylvania town. One day he was walking down
Main Street and he happened to notice a female member of
his congregation ... | 9 |
111 |
106 |
0.16 |
9/8/2008 8:16 am |
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|
Bob's birthday!
Bob works hard at the office but spends two nights each
week bowling, and plays golf every Saturday.
His wife thinks he's pushing himself too hard, so for
his birthday she takes him to a ... | 11 |
139 |
104 |
0.44 |
9/6/2008 10:03 am |
|
|
Getting a bomb dropped on ya ! ?
Ok, no more arguing from me, ok?
I thought I would ask this here for a little
insight because I'm sure this truthful story wouldn't
go over too well in the ... | 43 |
356 |
529 |
0.61 |
9/2/2008 1:03 pm |
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|
The Census taker!
A 'Census Taker' in a rural area went up to a
farmhouse and knocked. When a woman came to the door, he
asked her how many children she had and their ages.
She said, "Well, Les' See now, ... | 9 |
166 |
110 |
0.00 |
8/28/2008 8:48 am |
|
|
Smiling faces, sometimes!
ala, Temptations;
 "Smiling faces sometimes pretend to
be your friend. Smiling faces show no traces of the evil
that lurks within.
Smiling faces, smiling faces ... | 46 |
393 |
739 |
0.00 |
8/26/2008 1:40 pm |
|
|
Wal*Mart interview!
The manager at Wal-Mart had the task of hiring someone
to fill a job opening. After sorting through a stack of resumes
he found four people who were equally qualified. He decided
to call the four ... | 10 |
181 |
119 |
1.71 |
8/26/2008 8:59 am |
|
|
Pals !
Pals...
Pals among Women: A woman didn't come home one night. The next morning
she told her husband that she had slept over at a friend's
house. The man called his wife's 10 best friends. ... | 27 |
238 |
404 |
0.89 |
8/21/2008 8:29 am |
|
|
Redneck love poem!
SUSIE LEE DONE FELL IN LOVE,
SHE PLANNED TO MARRY JOE.
SHE WAS SO HAPPY 'BOUT IT ALL,
SHE TOLD HER PAPPY SO.
PAPPY TOLD HER, SUSIE GAL,
YOU'LL HAVE TO ... | 13 |
116 |
152 |
0.84 |
8/20/2008 7:04 am |
|
|
Psychics!
Why do psychics have to ask you your name if they know
everything?
Do you use psychics or do they use you? ... | 23 |
244 |
313 |
0.89 |
8/18/2008 12:44 pm |
|
|
Retired Preacher
A preacher retired and moved to the country to enjoy
life and practice his hobby of yard work. Needing a lawn
mower, he headed into town to buy one. On the way he saw a sign
advertising a lawn ... | 8 |
142 |
117 |
0.76 |
8/18/2008 12:41 pm |
|
|
School answering machine!
No wonder some people were offended!
This is the message that the Pacific Palisades High School
California staff voted unanimously to record on their
schooltelephone answering machine. ... | 16 |
258 |
320 |
0.41 |
8/15/2008 12:51 pm |
|
|
Younger & older!
Inside every older person is a younger person wondering,
'What the fuck happened?... | 24 |
222 |
370 |
0.43 |
8/15/2008 12:41 pm |
|
|
Government man of course!
State Government Employee sits in his office and out
of boredom, decides to see what's in his old filing
cabinet. He pokes through the contents and comes across
an old brass lamp.
"This ... | 7 |
116 |
82 |
0.53 |
8/15/2008 12:35 pm |
|
|
Dating gals of all ages!
What is the difference between girls/women aged: 8,
18, 28, 38, 48, 58. 68, and 78?
At 8 -- You take her to bed and tell her a story.
At 18 -- You tell her a story and take her ... | 11 |
118 |
97 |
1.12 |
8/15/2008 12:33 pm |
|
|
Donkeys and Government men!
Young Chuck moved to Texas and bought a Donkey from a
farmer for $100.00. The farmer agreed to deliver the Donkey
the next day. The next day he drove up and said, 'Sorry
son, but I have some bad ... | 6 |
120 |
81 |
1.23 |
8/15/2008 12:28 pm |
|
|
Urine test !
I have to pass a urine test for my job... and I agree with
this, 100%!
Like a lot of folks in this state, I have a Job. I work, they
pay me. I pay my taxes and the Government distributes ... | 25 |
307 |
517 |
0.08 |
8/12/2008 2:04 pm |
|
|
The welfare office Shank Redemption!
A guy walked into the local welfare office to pick up
his check.
He marched straight up to the counter and said, 'Hi.
You know, I just HATE drawing welfare. I'd really rather
have a ... | 7 |
168 |
109 |
0.75 |
8/12/2008 1:56 pm |
|
|
The pick up line!
Having already downed a few power drinks, she turned
around, faced him, looked him straight in the eye and said,
'Listen here, Good Looking, I screw anybody, anytime,
anywhere, your place, my ... | 6 |
151 |
82 |
1.72 |
8/12/2008 1:47 pm |
|
|
The little girls pretty church dress!
The preacher told a little 9 year old girl before church
as she stood by her big titted beautiful blonde headed mom,
"Honey thats a beautifully colored dress you're
wearing this morning." ...
| 13 |
225 |
163 |
1.45 |
7/25/2008 2:16 pm |
