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mornin' sexxx 06-09-2019
the wife was standing in the kitchen, preparing our usual
soft-boiled egg and toast breakfast; wearing nothing
but the t-shirt she normally sleeps in. me, not being nearly
awake gave a bit of side eye when I walked in. she turned to
me and softly said, “you’ve got to get your dick out,
fuck me right now." it sounded so sexy when she said
it, that my eyes woke like it xmas morning. i ...
0 Reacties, 51 Bezichtigingen,
9 Stemmen
,3.85 Score
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Orgasms and sneezing 06-09-2019
I’ve heard the louder someone sneezes the louder they
orgasm- think about it
0 Reacties, 7 Bezichtigingen,
5 Stemmen
,0.21 Score
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More Humour 06-09-2019
A fledgling journalist has been sent out to an interview
an elderly lady for the local rag, she has just turned 104
and still lives at home. The journo scribbles down the old
lady's life story in shorthand; schooldays, war ,
loves, marriage, widowhood. Then he arrived at the crucial
question. Journo: "Well then Edna, the $64, 000 dollar question!
All our readers will want to know the ...
1 Reacties, 31 Bezichtigingen,
2 Stemmen
,5.20 Score
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Threesome 05-09-2019
Having just passed my 50th birthday, I met an older woman
in a bar the other night. She was in her late 60s, but in very
good shape for her age. We got talking and flirting and she
asked if I'd like to go back to hers for a "sportsman's
double". "What's that ?" I said.
"It's a mother and threesome".
Imagining a gorgeous lady about my age, I ...
2 Reacties, 36 Bezichtigingen,
7 Stemmen
,2.02 Score
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More Humour 05-09-2019
I was sat in a bar with my wife last night. She looked at me and said, "Why are you staring at that
blonde woman with the big tits sitting over there?"
"You're crazy! !I didn't even notice her
big tits." I replied. "So why are you still staring at her??" "She's got no panties on."...
0 Reacties, 16 Bezichtigingen,
5 Stemmen
,2.49 Score
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Short Joke 04-09-2019
What did one condom say to the other condom as they walked
past a gay bar? <br><br>
<br><br>
Wanna get shit faced? 🤣🤣🤣
0 Reacties, 3 Bezichtigingen,
2 Stemmen
,3.81 Score
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More Humour 04-09-2019
Last night my wife wore a police uniform in bed and said,
"you've been arrested for being good in bed!"
<br><br>
90 seconds later the charges were dropped due to lack of
evidence...
1 Reacties, 7 Bezichtigingen,
4 Stemmen
,4.02 Score
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Panda 04-09-2019
A panda walks into a bar. He asks the bartender how he can
get a little action for the night. The bartender motions
to a young woman. She talks to the panda, and they go back
to her place. After having sex, the panda abruptly leaves.
The next night, the woman goes to the panda's house.
"You owe me money, " she says. "For what?"
The woman rolls her eyes and explains, ...
0 Reacties, 38 Bezichtigingen,
4 Stemmen
,2.08 Score
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A boy 04-09-2019
A little boy and his friends are being called bastards and
bitches by bullies at school. The boy goes home and asks,
"Dad, what are bastards and bitches?" And his
dad replies, "Bitches are ladies and bastards are
gentlemen." Then the boy goes upstairs to see his
mom. As he enters the room, he accidentally drops a perfume
bottle, and his mom says, "Shit!" "Mom, ...
1 Reacties, 34 Bezichtigingen,
5 Stemmen
,3.80 Score
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Jokes 03-09-2019
What are your favorite dirty jokes
0 Reacties, 3 Bezichtigingen,
2 Stemmen
,1.04 Score
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More Humour 02-09-2019
Dave woke up after the annual office Christmas party with
a pounding headache, cotton-mouthed and utterly unable
to recall the events of the preceding evening. After a trip to the bathroom, he made his way downstairs,
where his old lady put some coffee in front of him. “Louise, ” he moaned, “tell me what happened last
night. Was it as bad as I think?” “Even worse, ” she said, her ...
3 Reacties, 53 Bezichtigingen,
10 Stemmen
,4.98 Score
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What in the difference- 02-09-2019
Between a lollipop and a sucker?
2 Reacties, 23 Bezichtigingen,
3 Stemmen
,0.49 Score
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Does size really matter 02-09-2019
Wonder if women really r into size or it just dont matter.
Help me with this one plz
0 Reacties, 5 Bezichtigingen,
3 Stemmen
,1.47 Score
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To The Point 01-09-2019
A woman whose was hospitalised in a US tornado
told ITV News "God would make her better."
Presumably, 's a different God from the one
almost killed her with a tornado....
0 Reacties, 13 Bezichtigingen,
6 Stemmen
,3.08 Score
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Even More Humour 01-09-2019
There was a local family whose was frankly very
overweight and unattractive. I remember one day her mom came into school and spoke during
assembly explaining she could no longer stand the bullying and had hanged herself the night before.
<br><br>
The whole school was in shocked silence, then one lad shouted
out, " hell, it must have been a strong rope."
0 Reacties, 17 Bezichtigingen,
4 Stemmen
,3.25 Score
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Why 31-08-2019
Why did the chicken cross the road because the pervert could
not get his knob of it .... what cum first the chicken
or the pervert ??
0 Reacties, 9 Bezichtigingen,
7 Stemmen
,1.00 Score
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Why 31-08-2019
Why did the chicken cross the road because the pervert could
not get his knob of it .... what cum first the chicken
or the pervert ??
0 Reacties, 6 Bezichtigingen,
5 Stemmen
,0.86 Score
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Pharmacist joke 31-08-2019
"Being a pharmacist is great because you're
kind of a doctor, but also a cashier." -Dave Attell
1 Reacties, 8 Bezichtigingen,
7 Stemmen
,2.53 Score
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More Humour 31-08-2019
There was a knock on the door and on answering it discovered
a Policeman holding a photo of my wife . He asked "Is this your wife sir"? to which I replied
yes . He said "It looks like shes been in an accident"
And I replied "I know but shes got a lovely personality
"
0 Reacties, 13 Bezichtigingen,
4 Stemmen
,2.47 Score
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More Humour 31-08-2019
Fuck I remember the days when I was a you could go into
a shop with £1 and come out with 2 tins of coke, a wham bar,
a bag of crisps and 2 magnums.... Now , Fuckin CCTV everywhere.
0 Reacties, 10 Bezichtigingen,
4 Stemmen
,1.69 Score
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funny guy 30-08-2019
I have been writing volumes of jokes my entire life, now
at the age of 61 I've been sifting through my writings,
im a funny guy.
2 Reacties, 19 Bezichtigingen,
6 Stemmen
,1.37 Score
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points 28-08-2019
points points points points points points points
1 Reacties, 8 Bezichtigingen,
4 Stemmen
,2.86 Score
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Wanna hear a joke. 27-08-2019
My sad sad need for points
1 Reacties, 8 Bezichtigingen,
4 Stemmen
,2.47 Score
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More Humour 27-08-2019
A is in the kitchen making dinner for her family
when her walks in. “, where do babies
come from?” The thinks for a few seconds and says,
“Well dear, Mommy and Daddy fall in love and get married.
One night they go into their bedroom, they kiss and hug,
and have sex.” The looks puzzled so the
continues, “ means the daddy puts his penis in the
mommy’s vagina. ’s how you get a ...
1 Reacties, 23 Bezichtigingen,
4 Stemmen
,2.86 Score
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more humour 26-08-2019
I was setting a voice recognition password for my new phone
and a nearby barked and ran away. Now I'm looking for to unlock my phone....
0 Reacties, 9 Bezichtigingen,
5 Stemmen
,1.84 Score
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More Humour 26-08-2019
One the first teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs to her . She came to the part of the story where the first was trying to accumulate the building materials for his home. She read, "...and
so the went up to the man with the wheel barrow full of straw and said, "Pardon sir, but may I have some of straw to build my house?" The teacher paused
then asked the ...
3 Reacties, 52 Bezichtigingen,
11 Stemmen
,3.73 Score
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Jokes 25-08-2019
There has to be some joking involved
0 Reacties, 4 Bezichtigingen,
1 Stemmen
,1.10 Score
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How do you—- 24-08-2019
make a snowman the beach?
0 Reacties, 11 Bezichtigingen,
5 Stemmen
,1.19 Score
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How do you—- 24-08-2019
Get an elf of a tree?
0 Reacties, 7 Bezichtigingen,
3 Stemmen
,1.47 Score
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What- 24-08-2019
What is the difference between cats and kittens?
0 Reacties, 19 Bezichtigingen,
7 Stemmen
,0.49 Score
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