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My Magazine > Editors Archive > Swingers > Princess Polly's Sex Tips for Swingers
Princess Polly's Sex Tips for Swingers   by Princess Polly

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Hellooooooooo Swingers!

Allow me to introduce myself: I am Princess Polly, purveyor of playful, provocative, pervy parties! I've been in this business for over 10 years, hence my expertise in these matters, and I currently throw three fabulous swinger parties in San Francisco: Delicious (www.thedeliciousparty.com), Club Kiss (www.clubkiss.us) and Pink (www.pinkplayparty.com).



Photo by Dazza.


My new column is geared towards all kinds of swingers - whether you're a newbie or an old hand - and will be chock-full of useful information, insightful tips and amusing anecdotes designed to help you navigate your way through the excitement and the potential pitfalls of sexually explorative, open relationships.

I believe that openness is the key to longevity in relationships, and I can't imagine limiting myself to just one sexual partner! From my experience, there are as many different kinds of open relationships as there are people. Unlike standard marriages, we get to make it up as we go along. We can explore what feels right with our partner, and develop a relationship that works for us, rather than adhering to rules spelled out society.

Some people just want to flirt with other couples, but stick with their partner when it comes to sex. Others have multiple, completely separate, loving sexual relationships. Then there's everything in between! As long as you make agreements that both you and your partner(s) feel comfortable with, then you can open up a whole new world of sexual exploration. And, you'll completely eliminate the concept of "cheating," and the ridiculous notion of having to break up with someone you love just because you’re attracted to someone else.

Dorothy Parker, the famously caustic columnist and poet, was way ahead of her time when she made this astute observation back in 1937:

"By the time you swear you're his,
Shivering and sighing,
And he vows his passion is
Infinite, undying -
Lady, make a note of this:
One of you is lying."


The truth of the matter is that more and more couples are realizing that the myth of monogamy is flailing - as the growing number of Adult FriendFinder members attests - and modern couples all over the world are seeking more creative options. However, the "infinite, undying" romance Dorothy Parker talks about is actually more attainable in the swingers lifestyle than it has ever been before, because phone sex with strangers, photo swapping and even weekend flings are encouraged by spouses, rather than viewed as material for your divorce lawyer.

Let's be completely honest here: there are a bunch of hotties out there, wandering the streets of this modern world, who look pretty damn tasty! You might meet someone out at a party or in a bar who wants to flirt, giving you that "come on" look and brushing their hand against your thigh. Maybe they want to go further, and invite you back to their place (or even into the bathroom stall at a club!) However much you love your partner, if they’re asking you to not look, not touch, not talk to, not even think about those soft, pretty, handsome people out of fear of destroying your relationship forever...well, that's just a recipe for disaster.

Now, let’s accept that the chances of you only being attracted to one person for the rest of your life is pretty slim. So why spend the rest of your days in a repressed, tense, uptight purgatory, when there are so many more options available to the discerning modern couple?

Speaking of options: check out the profiles on Adult FriendFinder! It's mind-boggling how many different ways there are to play! There's soft swap, hard swap, group sex, voyeurism, threesomes, foursomes, BDSM, phone sex, and cybersex. In the past, you were either straight or gay; these days you can be bi-sexual, bi-curious, bi-comfortable, pansexual, omnisexual or even metamorphosexual. Let's hear it for diversity!

With all these options available to us, who in their right mind would limit themselves to boring old vanilla sex with one partner? The sexual revolution that started over 40 years ago is finally reaching the masses, and people are demanding more satisfying, exciting, fulfilling sex lives. To some people this all sounds too good to be true. Can it be possible that you can have your proverbial cake and eat it? Well, yes, it is, and the formula is simple: communicate, be real with each other, and make choices from love, not from fear.

Keep checking back over the months to come as I lead you tip toeing through the tulips of temptation and titillation, covering a whole range of topics from introducing a new partner to the scene to writing your own swinger profile and explaining all the confusing terminology. I will also be answering questions, so if you have a burning issue that you need some advice about, then shoot me an email, I’d love to hear from you! My Adult FriendFinder profile is POLLYTHEPRINCESS.

Ta ta for now!

The Princess