Looking Right Through  

zanzibarus 38M
419 posts
11/19/2005 6:26 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Looking Right Through

This evening i had practice yet again for a gig next week. We haven't had a gig in a while, mainly because i have felt burnt out with work etc. So we have been itching to do something, anything, so it will just be something very small, a more intimate acoustic set. I'm happy with that, large crowds don't interest me that much because i cant really see the faces of the patrons and to be honest i don't have that much energy for a loud physical set. New material, its all good. I'm happy.

I was having a conversation with a friend of mine last night along the same lines as my last post. She said the girl was clearly insane, which confirmed my suspicions. Then she asked what do i do, i described, things got awkward, we joked and left it at that. I'm happy with that, cause i don't want anything sexual with her. There's always been the attraction, but we are too close to risk ruining things with a mercy fuck. The topics come up and has been quashed unanimously.

The thing i wonder is, when does a friend with benefits become a friend. I don't consider sleeping with the female friends i have, because i just don't think of them that way and never have. I have had acquaintances who i have slept with, but i wouldn't call them friends. If i was to sleep with them and we became good friends later on, would i sleep with them again? i don't think i would want to. Even though it has been done in the past, i don't know, i don't know if i could do it. I give all to my friends. They know my secrets and i trust them with my life, i cant consider fucking them. I don't know. Maybe I'm just a mess. I know some other guys who have female friends who would screw them in a heartbeat. I just couldn't do it.

Also, i find it extremely bizarre, but i have no male friends apart from my band mates. Most of the friends that i have had throughout my life have been female. I have broken up with women because i have female friends and they don't want me to see them. I don't know. It's all very topsy turvy.

I love women, as cliched as that sounds on this. I literally do. There are things that i see in them that i don't see in men. Compassion, elegance, grace, beauty, emotion, tenderness, strength, passion... the list goes on. I think the problem with men, particularly younger men, have no concept of this. It bugs me, because i am all for chivalry. Open the door, pull out her seat, fill her glass, make sure she gets home safe, pay for dinner, walk on the side of the footpath nearer to the street etc. Be charming for gods sake. It aggravates me i suppose.

Another obsession, i have many, before i kiss, i love running my fingers from the top of the jawline near the ear down. Its such an elegant part of a woman, and the kisses, oh the kisses! You can always judge your lover by the way they kiss! Its the first rule. If they don't know how to kiss, how do they know how to do anything else!


Am i a tease?

Music: Tim Buckley - Devil Eyes

frangipanigal 44F
10406 posts
11/19/2005 7:42 pm

If what you are saying is true, you are a tease!! Where are the men like you in the world!

I am as independent as the next woman but love chivalry (although I do always offer to pay for half at dinner...)

You could not be more right about the first kiss though. For me the first kiss is make or break time!! Without the passion of that kiss, there is hardly going to be anything passionate about anything else that may occur.

Hey, weren't you meant to be out scoring free drinks last night???

Frangi xx

rm_saintlianna 45F
15466 posts
11/19/2005 7:56 pm

I think you are incredibly sweet and you are just a little bundle of emotions. I think you need someone to love that loves you back just as much.

zanzibarus 38M

11/20/2005 3:57 am

frangi - was supposed to go for free drinks, ut the practice came up and i was a lot more keen to do that than getting plastered with some friends. I can do that next week though. Its like an open ended ticket heh. The men like me, heh, i dunno where they hang out, i have no male friends haha.

saint - me. sweet? awww. im gonna blush

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