|Blogs > zanzibarus > Yesterday i lived for tomorrow|
It has been a frustrating last couple of days.
I have been working quite hard. I have been flirting with an Asian girl from work also. I don't know if its friendly or not. I'm not going to wager my job on finding out either. Its just that i have been so frustrated recently that i would do anything given half a chance.
A friend and i have been discussing bad sex and how frustrating it is. We both agree that bad sex is too common and too irritating. So how does one overcome this? I have had tried to have spectacular sex, but what happens when the other person just doesnt want to co-operate?
The drive home from work leaves a lot of time to think. I have been procrastinating on whether i should stay in this country for much longer. I havenever really felt home here, i find it disagreeable. You know when you just dont feel like you are at home. Its a beautiful country, but i just dont feel like i am home. Like i have been here on a 20 year holiday and have never felt quite right. I miss making music too much. I miss beingin a band and having the camraderie i used to have. Its funny how you move on from things, and in retrospect, you just wish you could go back because they were the happiest days of your life.
I am just so confused at the moment. Even with the tryst that i am currently having, i dont know if it will stay the way i want it or if she will want it to change into a relationship. Hopefully it doesnt, because the sex is great.
I just think i need a constant in my life. Something that doesnt change all the time.