Knowing  

your_sx_toy 50F
14 posts
3/14/2005 12:54 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Knowing


I have found many people try to give others hints about themselves, like a friend who has an online journal and gives it to her boyfriend.

She is disappointed if he does not avail himself of this inner knowledge..or at least pretend interest.

She hopes that he will use this inner information to surprise her with something she wants, handle a situation in a certain way, or just so that she knows he knows her thoughts and she can feel more comfortable in giving him control.

His lack of interest in her journal does not bother her as much as it should do...because while it is not always someone's cup of tea to know their partner...if your in a relationship and you have that chance to see what they are thinking without restriction or restraint...without having to work to actually get the information as I see some guys having too...then it would suggest a lack of interest or concern.

It is kewl to think someone knows you well enough to be allowed to role play or have control over a situatioin..to gain that position you need to first be interested in the person your with...cause if there is no interest then...there is lack of caring and one of the cornerstones of trust lies there broken.

rm_Almondnut 42F
115 posts
3/14/2005 8:47 pm

my partner refuses to look at my blog. He says that I need a place where I can vent that he cannot see, so that I'll feel free to get issues and feelings off my chest. I really like that about him although sometimes I wish he would read it -but that is jsut the part of me that is narcissistic


your_sx_toy 50F
3 posts
3/21/2005 6:59 am

I think it depends upon the reason that you are setting up the blog. It sounds like your partner is respecting your privacy and allowing you a healthier route to express yourself freely without repercussions.

My friend on the other hand, is setting up a blog in order to share things that she can not seem to express directly in person. As many times as I have suggested she can not force his interaction (reading of her blog) she maintains that, this should be her way of giving him hints to her behaviors and inner thoughts.

He goes along with it but does not actually do it...making both of them expend alot of energy towards something that is really rather redundant.

If this is something she actually needs (as opposed to a want) in a relationship, then she is either with the wrong person and needs to realize it...she needs to explain to him that this is a "essential need" and hope he will go with it and do it...she could take the fantastic step of actually speaking TO HIM (no I never suggested that...ever...not even 1,000 times)...or they stop the arguing, accept each other as is and work out a whole new route to happiness and expression within the relationship.

Personally, sharing with your partner needs to be done in a mutually agreeable fashion...it's no fun to be forced into something your really not in sync with. Find a comfortable way for both.


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