what turns me on  

your_gypsy 51F
128 posts
11/10/2005 8:29 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

what turns me on

recently i wrote about using this "sex site" for an avenue of entertainment and making friends. yayy AdultFriendFinder! and i mentioned the fact that i am not closed off to folks who write to me, even those who try to get me to notice them with a cock shot and a not-too-imaginative line. i want to write now about what breaks through all the mainstream introductory messages and turns me on.

truly, AdultFriendFinder has been kind to me over the years. when i lived in los angeles (until only recently) i met several men over the years through the site in succession who i dated and am still friends with. there are even a couple of others who i never met in person but who i have spoken with over the phone and messaged and still do, 2 years later. i have made friends with women and men and we have exchanged christmas gifts and cards and telephone calls and remember each others' birthdays... it is really nice.

i've never met anyone on any mainstream personals site who i bonded so much with as i have here.

anyway, what is a turn on to me is someone who reads my stuff, first of all. someone who genuinely wants to know *me* enough to ask me about my life, "oh i see you like to write. oh you're a mom? i'm a dad. you like to cook? i like to eat!" etc, etc.

talldarkavg1 called me in a dark hour a while back and let me know i was cherished. this guy is a couple of states away and there is little in it for him to flatter me, but of course that's not why he does it. he does it because it is in him and he must express it. many times i've come to his blog and exchanged private messages too and left feeling better about myself just from that exchange with him. he makes jokes about him being "average," but to me he's beautiful.

i know many women have received messages from guys in the military stationed in the middle east, but do the women realize that they are not only writing out of loneliness, but they can actually see clearly enough out of their own stressful situation to look at the women over here on the computer and give them the time of day? i appreciate that, myself! i just received a letter from a man who is coming home soon from iraq and he simply said that he had been reading my blogs and my profile and he just wanted to reach out. he knew there was little chance of meeting anytime soon, there being so many potential other men available, but he did it anyway because he wasn't really thinking of himself at the time. he displayed his ability to get out of his own self for a minute and reach out to a woman who is clearly going through a bit of a tuff time and appreciates the support.

another man (jim ) who i met here is someone who genuinely wants to help. i admit i am wary and i do have some dignity which i care not to lose so it is hard for me to accept gifts without being romantically involved or thinking that the other person wants or deserves something for his goodness to me, but this person broke through that somewhat. he showed me true compassion. he did me a great favor which i won't elaborate on here because it's just not necessary, but that's not to say it's any less appreciated. he is always checking on me and shows his concern for me. and that's another turn on but we are not involved as a couple. it's a great friendship, though.

one other man (cowboydid2 ) who just recently came into my world works at the renaissance faire and invited me and my son to go! again, his genuine interest was just wanting to give me some grace, some fun, happiness. and no, it's not the gifts or things someone can do for me that turn me on, but it is simply the act of looking beyond the obvious and thinking "how can i touch that person?" and conveying that...

like mtnravyn, who has been writing to me for a few months now, who always has some parable or story, something to relate to what i am talking about or going through, and just giving that selflessly. you ever had someone say to you "let me know how i can help?" well it's just nice to have someone see that you need a hand and just give it to you, no matter if all you have is a hug, a poem, an uplifting letter, a telephone call at just the right moment.

there is also another person who never writes publicly on my blog (firm ) but who i write back and forth with on an almost daily basis. he has the ability to stroke me and calm me without even using the telephone. i haven't even met him in person yet. he is a real refuge to me.

still others just are a turn-on by having something to say and speaking their minds and showing that they are feeling, soulful individuals themselves instead of just *anatomy.*

there are other people who have come and gone in my cyber life who turned me on, too, but those were just fleeters. people who are in and out so easily are nothing special to me anymore. so longevity does something for me, too.

lucky, choozmi, albertprince, voodooguru and others (please, please forgive my bad short term memory in names right now -- the important thing is i haven't forgotten the impact you've made with comments you've made or personal messages you've sent to me) -- all have touched me in some way that interestingly enough is far from the rumpled sheets of the bed. it is that other muscle that gets all the exercise around here that is best tickled and warmed.

it's my heart.

rm_talldarkavg1 105M
10172 posts
11/10/2005 8:52 am

[blog talldarkavg1]

Choozmi 50M

11/10/2005 11:30 am

I'm kinda speechless. Thanks.

rm_mtnravyn 60M
890 posts
11/10/2005 1:33 pm

The best teacher is the one who suggests rather than dogmatizes, and inspires his listener with the wish to teach himself. (Unknown source) You set the example and the mirror reflects. There is an old saying that a candle loses nothing by lighting another candle. TY

jim5131 55M
1296 posts
11/10/2005 7:49 pm

Mtnravyn said it pretty well...you gather all the friends and lost nothing in the sharing of that friendship, Gypsy.

You personality, heart and character alone does this for you. You can't help but attract good people. You have the intellegence to cast aside those that have thinly veiled intentions.

In time, you will trust again. Hold those friends closely....dignity has less to do with receiving gifts and more with accepting those that want you to do well. We are all here for a purpose..

Honor. The greatest gift you can give yourself.

dano6332 56M

11/10/2005 8:19 pm

Gypsy, You deserve the best and should settle for nothing but.

I agree with you TDA will be sorely missed

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