your_gypsy 51F
128 posts
10/14/2005 7:29 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm


he came early, a month before he was due. born with a dangerously high billirubin level, he had to stay in the NICU for a week before I could take him home. my mom was still alive then, in the delivery room with us. i pushed for 2 hours straight, then when he was placed on my chest, we made eye contact for the first time, him with only his left eye open, peering through it at me directly like he was looking into my soul...

i came back to the hospital every day for that week and stayed all day long. i was so intent on nursing him, giving him a good start in life with the best nutrition one can have. he was too sleepy and too little, and lost a little weight.

a week later when we brought him home, it was glorious. i joined gymboree with him to make friends and learn some techniques. during that time i was still learning to breastfeed. that doesn't come naturally to all women, i discovered. i remember having a bottle of expressed breastmilk hanging around my neck with tiny tubes from the bottle taped to my nipples; the objective was to get him to suck at the nipple and get some extra milk ... that was exhausting but funny, too. eventually he became a champ at that. and it was wonderful and rewarding. he became a fat little cherub, off to a running start in life, for a full year.

my mom passed when he was 9 months and things began to get difficult. my husband was using drugs then and i began working again, at home. trials and tribulations abounded but my little guy was healthy and i had plenty to be thankful for. discipline was challenging because i was raised with an overly heavy hand on the part of both my mother and my father, not a great example for me as a new parent myself, and i was determined to do better by my own. i immersed myself in learning different methods and even self-discipline in that regard. the result is a fairly compliant child with a spirit that soars, someone who's not afraid to question things in life, who takes reasonable risks but knows responsibility well, too.

i don't shelter him too much. i think the only real thing i've tried to keep him from was media that would appear on the television, and covering his eyes, or telling him to look away if it was too scary. i was always there, am always there, to answer his questions. i see in his teachers sometimes things they do to discourage the children they have in their charge, but that is misguided and old fashioned. perhaps they need a refresher course. perhaps they need to be reminded -- it is encouraging what we need to do for these kids, not discouraging.

he's getting so big... we were sitting on the couch together watching tv yesterday. i don't like watching his japanese cartoons but will tolerate them sometimes just to spend some time together, and at 12, he still likes to cuddle and be affectionate with his mom. i put my head on his shoulder and he felt very comfortable like that. it was so warm and wonderful.

today as i watched him walk off to the schoolbus stop one block over, i thought back to that left eye peering at me on the day he was born, and how i thought to myself, here's the creature who lived and grew inside me for almost a year before i could see him, who stuck his foot under my right breast and made it impossible for me to sit up sometimes, who finally burst forth into this life because he couldn't wait to start living with me, who has come into my life and gave me true purpose and real LOVE.

what a gift!

(Juan S)
2642 posts
10/14/2005 10:44 am

It is these types of thought of unconditional love that make it all worthwhile...

rm_TwiztedCharm 56M
456 posts
10/14/2005 12:24 pm

Our children are the only real assets we have and leave this world. I was there when both of mine were born and was the first to hold them so yes I know the bond. Raise them well and nurture them with lots of love, you never know they may have to raise you someday. LIKE MINE

madkitten 53F
291 posts
10/14/2005 1:19 pm

Yes they are a gift each and everyone of them.

jim5131 55M
1296 posts
10/17/2005 1:51 pm

Hey Gypsy...the bond between a single Mom and her only son are the strongest of any relationships. He has the inherent drive to protect you and be the man of the house, the respect for you from watching you respond to your trials, and his love to never lose you. You have been blessed more than you know..and though it might get lost in the details of the day-to-day work, soon (if not already) you'll look back and see that the BigPicture was exactly the way you wanted it to turn out. You have this opportunity to create a great guy from this infant that once struggled for life. And look at him now.

He's a great little guy. Soon to be good young man. Take care of each other.

Snap_99 30M

10/28/2005 7:33 pm

Wow, I actually dropped two tears reading that.

I think you're a great mother gypsy; congratulations.

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