Polyamory is sexual liberation  

yogagrrl 48
193 posts
7/16/2006 6:47 pm

Last Read:
8/1/2006 6:04 pm

Polyamory is sexual liberation

In polyamory, love is celebrated through varied relationship structures, diversity of its people, sexual orientation and avenues of expression. Polyamory (loving many) is a high art form and a profound spiritual path which encourages honesty, authentic relating, conscious connections, kind communication and unconditional love.

Relating polyamorously frees all of us, awakens the world and propels the planet towards peace.

DNA studies have revealed that humans are pair-bonded but not sexually monogamous. The monogamy myth has created incredible wounds on the human psyche which have harmed us far too long.

Polyamory is a viable option for conscious relating that eliminates lying and cheating. Cheating undermines loving relationships, widens the gender gap and propagates the war of the sexes.

As I've said in a past blog posting, keep the door open in your marriage or partnership. It will free you in many ways. Let your loved one explore... you'll be surprised how this will only generation love back to you.


evil_lolita 34F

7/16/2006 8:20 pm

The way I've always looked at it, being poly doesn't eliminate lying and cheating, nor is it a "better" or "truer" form of relating to people. It's simply another type of relationship dynamic - it works for some people, and doesn't for others.

How do you get an art form out of relationships, btw? I'm curious about that and thinking maybe I don't understand what you're saying

Come to the edge, he said. They said: We are afraid. Come to the edge, he said. They came. He pushed them and they flew.

Guillaume Apollinaire

Alberta Nightlife Under 40 - check it out!


wistfuljester 64M

7/16/2006 9:03 pm

"DNA studies have revealed that humans are pair-bonded but not sexually monogamous. The monogamy myth has created incredible wounds on the human psyche which have harmed us far too long."

May I ask for citations to the "DNA studies" to which you refer?


yogagrrl 48

7/17/2006 9:28 am

I don't expect anyone here on AdultFriendFinder to grasp the true essence of a ploy life style. The subject is so debatable that it would only cause much friction and anger - which I am feeling from both of you. My intention here is always to enlighten to make the world a better place through open communication, friendships and love.

So, rather then to get into a pissing match over the subject, education yourselves. There are several books on the topic. My favorite, " Polyamory - The new love or the " Ethical Slut".

Both good reads on the topic.

I belong to a progressive community in the bay area that supports this life style. I come from a different world then the two of you. I'm not saying my world or way is better, it's just different.

I also teach yoga and practice tantra which truly brings sex and love to a higher ground which is a art form.


wistfuljester 64M

7/18/2006 12:47 am

My post was not meant in anger. I simply asked for specific details about the "DNA studies" that support your rather broad assertion.

I am a curious person; if someone claims that something is a "scientific fact", I want to know where the scientific backing for such a claim comes from.


CongaFelixRubes 54M  
1223 posts
7/18/2006 9:15 am

I did read that humans are not monogamous by nature. I think people hope to fulfill all of their needs from one partner. Sometimes it is not possible.


yogagrrl 48

7/18/2006 2:30 pm

    Quoting CongaFelixRubes:
    I did read that humans are not monogamous by nature. I think people hope to fulfill all of their needs from one partner. Sometimes it is not possible.
Thank you for that... I felt that my post was not well received. It's a tricky subject.

Much love!


evil_lolita 34F

7/19/2006 5:17 pm

I come from a different world then the two of you.

Do you? Not so much. I live a poly lifestyle as well, quite happily, and have for the past 4 years. Assumptions are not nice.

Thanks for addressing my question that I asked in all honesty and curiosity in an effort to understand where you were coming from - oh, that's right. You didn't bother. Because I wouldn't understand.

Come to the edge, he said. They said: We are afraid. Come to the edge, he said. They came. He pushed them and they flew.

Guillaume Apollinaire

Alberta Nightlife Under 40 - check it out!


evil_lolita 34F

7/19/2006 5:28 pm

Plus - I wasn't angry with my first comment - I was offering my opinion, and asking you for clarification. Your comment, however, did manage to piss me off. If you don't want to answer questions or explain yourself when questioned, then don't post to a public forum.

Come to the edge, he said. They said: We are afraid. Come to the edge, he said. They came. He pushed them and they flew.

Guillaume Apollinaire

Alberta Nightlife Under 40 - check it out!


yogagrrl 48

7/19/2006 9:17 pm

Let me start over. First of all let me say that I write because it is therapeutic for me. I usually don't think anyone is paying attention. Obviously that is not the case this time. I apologize for not being more attentive to some well thought out comments and questions regarding my writing. I suppose I am guilty of what I bemoan. Namely, not being as direct and honest as I could be. Allow me to address the thoughtful commentary as I should have done to begin with.

1) How do you get an art form out of relationships, btw?

For me (and probably for you too) I view life itself as an artform. How we interact with other human beings is probably the highest art of all. We are all subject to emotion. Often we feel negative emotions for other people, such as when I "pissed you off". Of course we all know that emotions are just chemical reactions that occur in the brain. I try to remain cognizant of that fact and let them blow by, leaving me relatively undisturbed. I am human and do not always succeed. Usually negative emotions are the result of misunderstanding, which can in turn be traced to a communication failure. Sexual relations can be the most intense relations of all. So my comment was just a statement that we are all artists painting on the canvas of life. I only have one canvas and choose to paint pleasure.

2) May I ask for citations to the "DNA studies" to which you refer?

I do have some literature that I based my comments on. Notably, The Red Queen by Mat Ridley. And there are a number of other excellent books on the subject of Human Sexual evolution. I googled DNA and polyamory and got a slew of hits. Reviewing the date I should have said "Blood Tests" and Polyamory instead of "DNA" and Polyamory. The fact is that there is a plethora of DNA evidence supporting the existence (with varying degrees by specie) of E.P.C.'s (Extra Pair Copulations) within virtually every species studied. A notable exception is Homon Sapiens. This is due to the very sensitive subject matter. My reference to Blood Tests refers to a rather famous study done in the U.K. that I read about and was also referenced in an excellent documentary on Sex done by PBS. Below is a quote from David P. Barash of Trinity University from a report I came across on the Net.

Given how much we have been learning about extra-pair matings among animals, and considering the current availability of DNA testimony, it is remarkable how rarely genetic paternity tests have been run on human beings. On the other hand, considering the inflammatory potential of the results -- as well as, perhaps, a hesitancy to open such a Pandora's box -- Homo sapiens' reluctance to test for paternity may be sapient indeed. Even before DNA fingerprinting, blood-group studies in England found that the purported father of a child is the real father about 94 percent of the time; that means that in six out of every hundred cases, someone else is. In response to surveys, 25 to 50 percent of American men report having had at least one episode of extramarital sex. The numbers for women are perhaps a bit lower, but in the same ballpark.


FrankPicasso 52M

7/25/2006 5:36 am

Hi, yogagrrl. Perhaps polyamory is indeed one way to free yourself completely. Sounds as though it frees you from judgment. Congratulations to you for achieving this freedom. It may not be practicable for everyone, but it's important to realize that no one should judge anyone for any reason. A very thought provoking post.


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