Mountain What??? What Mountain???  

yagottalikit 49F
824 posts
1/7/2006 2:54 pm

Last Read:
3/26/2007 4:50 am

Mountain What??? What Mountain???

I actually wrote this yesterday 01/06/06: But I felt so lousy, I couldn't finish posting it. My head hurts now from hitting the keyboard while trying.

Ok. I may be just a simple, typical, redneck Texan (with blonde roots, to boot) , but I do know what a friggin' mountain is ~ hell; I even know what one looks like! I'm also, pretty damn certain there ain't a single one within.......say.....a "few" miles of me.

A "few" is an understatement. The nearest mountain is exactly 422.96 miles away. I am reluctantly allowing for those big ass fire ant hills that some native Texans insist are mountains.

Either way, how the frick does one explain the annual (hmmm Victoria's sale just whizzed past these bitchy thoughts ‒ oh yeah that’s SEMI-annual) I digress….ok...got it! The annual onslaught of "mountain" cedar? This shit affects 98% of the South-Central Texas Population. (Ok. this is not based on facts, however, EVERYONE I know feels the effects! Year after year).

Once a year I am down for the count, lasting 2 or 3 weeks, sometimes. It's like the flu without the nasty tummy thing happening. I suppose, were I named - Pollyanna-, I would thank anyone and anything, that'd listen, for the fact that, apparently, this is the only allergy I have, as none others even give me a twinge of trouble! And....it usually takes a somewhat high count to kick in.

Like today......Four thousand and something was the count for Mountain Cedar. I want to die (and could easily kill) as bad as I feel, right now!

Yikes...rambling again...let me get back on track...

Here we go.

No mountains, yet there's an abundance of "mountain" cedar floating through my air space.

Are ya following me, here?

An informant told me that this havoc-wreaking cedar is a "transplant" (didn't bother to verify this. Seems obvious and it sure as hell won't make me feel better.)

Evidently, someone thought it was "pretty" and brought it into our mountain-less, Lone Star State. I've been told that the "pretty" tree eats all other plants alive! Suffocating and killing it’s prey. Add to that the fact that it pushes hundreds of thousands of people to the brink of homicide and/or suicide. But, "Awwww. The tree they was buried beside shore is purty!”

Yeah. Way to go genius!

So, the “mountain cedar” isn’t even a native Texan! However, it is protected. Why? Because some silly owls refused to nest ANYWHERE but in those very cedars!

Ummm……HELLO?!?!?!? Where did these finicky, snooty, friggin owls nest before some brainiac (no doubt some spoiled debutante) decided they JUST HAD TO HAVE that pretty mountain tree planted throughout their sprawling ranch????? Another, less harmful tree, maybe?

Could it be that these owls left THEIR natural habitat because someone moved their fucking homes!

If the Owls found their precious “mountain cedar” in Texas ~ by golly ~ they can find it right back on out of Texas, too.

Ugh! This shit drives me insane! I’m tired of sniffling and sneezing, I do believe 100 + sneezes within a 20 minute time frame, (and there have been several 20 minute time frames, today) surpasses the requisite ratio allotted for human vs. owl well-being.

Fuck the owl! They will adapt ~ obviously, they’ve done it before! As for me…..nope, I get to be miserable and those within a “few” miles of me are severely at risk.

If PMS and Mountain Cedar ever cross paths………Texas had better run for cover!

Behind a Mountain Cedar, perhaps?

update 01/07/06 - I decided a minute or two should be taken to research.....and my info was incorrect regarding the 'owl"...read on:

Austin American Statesman editorial on January 6, 2003, presents a compelling argument for controlling mountain cedar. “Environmental advocates are a strong political force in Central Texas. They will be forceful champions of the golden-cheeked warbler, birds that sit out cedar pollen season in Mexico. But for the rest of the year in Central Texas, cedars find legal protection in the warbler's affinity for them. Though the cedars are not native to Central Texas, they are nature's quintessential freeloading relative. Not only do cedars hog space -- there are 8.6 million acres of cedar trees in Central Texas -- they drink heavily. Cedars guzzle 32 gallons of water per tree per day.”

Even the damn birds these trees are protected for leave the country when the pollen takes over!



Yagotta get it soft and wet so we can kick/stick it


yagottalikit 49F
583 posts
1/7/2006 3:03 pm

I continued reading abou this.......damn! This tree is bad, bad, bad! I am much more informed. Oh, and I am feeling much better today! It will be up and down over the next few weeks, I know this. Thanks for putting up with the ranting and raving! (quite justified, now that I know the damage Mountain Cedar actually does)

Yagotta get it soft and wet so we can kick/stick it


rm_hinkawaza 52M
371 posts
1/7/2006 4:34 pm

OK Baby, I guess it is time for me to roll out my long thought over plan of becoming an evil (or actually in this case good?) scientist that creates a genetically engineered plague that wipes out all cedar trees in Texas and makes all women in Texas that want breast augmentation to experience spontaneous enlargement to the size or shape they want, hell for that matter, nation wide, thereby crippling the hold the evil Allergists have on the pocket book of Central Texans!!!! Muuaahahahahaha


bardicman 50M

1/8/2006 8:58 am

hmm even the birds leave the trees.. Interesting indeed



I am not dead yet


rm_hinkawaza 52M
371 posts
1/8/2006 11:44 am

Yeah Bard, this stuff is majorly nasty! For this reason, plus the Mountain Laurel (what's the deal with these mountain trees?!?!?!) and molds San Antonio is on the list as one of the worst places for natural allergies in the U.S.


RockPebble 69M
2485 posts
1/10/2006 7:20 am

I'll be visiting San Antonio at the end of Feb., will the season be over by then? Hope you feel better.


yagottalikit 49F
583 posts
1/12/2006 11:10 pm

Rock ~ it shouldn't be too bad at that time....but, if you happen to be rather sensitive to it....just bring some type of allergy medication along in case you feel the effects. Hope you enjoy your visit!

Yagotta get it soft and wet so we can kick/stick it


trust2bdiscreet2 44M

1/16/2006 5:03 pm

Squirt Tail;

It got me. Its offical, Im f'n pissed off. The 5,000+ days led to full blown upper resperatory crude.

I got it. Tha whole famn-damily gots it. Hell, even my dogs got it. Im really pissed off. I never get sick. Last time was over two years ago. F'n cedar bull shit. Im pissed off.

Trust


Become a member to create a blog