Dream of escaping arranged marriage and narrowly missing it  

wyseman3 56M
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3/18/2006 10:13 pm

Last Read:
3/20/2006 11:01 pm

Dream of escaping arranged marriage and narrowly missing it

Men and women of India have a normal desire to find their mate. They just have had an uphill battle in the form of the arranged system.

Even then, they share a lot in common with the youth from other parts of the world. On the way to youth, there are the usual, though not open, escapades -- crushes, some dates and so forth. Some are lucky enough to find love and marrying for love. Those on the arranged path have differing experiences. Defining the success or otherwise of an arranged relationship depends on your expectations of a relationship. It is when you seek deep enrichment, an arranged relationship can easily falter. If your expectations are average, on average an arranged relationship works out.

There are the usual discoveries of sexuality ... crushes, masturbation, infatuations and experiments with homosexuality.

A key factor in determing success of any relationship is the intellectual compatibliity. This is the area where my relationship went horribly wrong. Discovering early on the problem and continuing with hope only perpetuated the problem. And then, support network for divorce in the Indian society in nearly non-existent.

When you get to mid-life, the harmones get out of the way and the real personality forges ahead. The unfulfilled subconscious desires surge ahead on the to-do list. Finding emotional and physical closeness to a compatible person becomes not just a priority, but a necessity. All this, while you juggle work, children in the current relationship and health and other issues in parental and extended families. The arms of a lover are a heaven that can provide solace for the embattled soul.

Some interesting links :
1. How sexuality reflects personality -- by sex / marriage consultant David Schnarch -- on http://AdultFriendFinder.com

2. Study of effect of divorce on psychological growth of children
"The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce - A 25 Year Landmark Study."
Authors: Judith Wallerstein, Julia Lewis and Sandra Blakeslee
Amazon Link: http://AdultFriendFinder.com=8-1/qid=1139480453/ref=sr_1_1/104-1793327-2579110?%5Fencoding=UTF8

3. Sanity escapades to stay in a non-functional marriage (???)

Well, the best relationship, including sexual, comes from understanding yourself and your partner and confirming your understanding with each other. ... and of course, being resourceful enough to as many of your partner's fantacies as possible.

Any comments? Come have a say. Stay tuned for more.

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