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What Were You Thinking????
What Were You Thinking????
I read an odd news story a while back about a guy in Australia (?)who was charged with malicious wounding as well as penetration with an inanimate object because... he had intimate relations with his girlfriend using a pistol.
Now, I recognize that there is a certain thrill when role playing and using toys. The operative word here is TOY. I know that some folks choose to use the real thing, such as knives, in play. But that takes a great amount of trust and communication and safety precautions prior to play.
So anyway, evidently, he was utilizing a Smith and Wesson to replace Captain Happy. I suspect there was some type of lubricant out of a bottle/tube/tub. Unfortunately, he had not unloaded the Smith and Wesson and she did not have the foresight to check it for herself.
Yeah you guessed it. Shot her. Right in the cooch.
Now. Here's the $64 question. When he called 911, or whatever the down under equivalent it, what did he say?
"911 operator. What is your emergency?"
"send an ambulance. She's been shot."
"Where is she shot sir?"
"ah...uh...um...in the ah....um...you know...down....ah....in the lower extremity"
"are you saying she's shot it the leg?"
"Sir where is she shot? you will need to put a compress on the wound and hold it in place to try to stop the bleeding."
"oh...I think she has a tampon in her purse."
Yeah...and how about the offense being read in court by a snooty barrister.
"and then the pistol discharged while lodged in her..ah..nether region..in which she was shot."
And what about when he went into jail. The guys sitting around having the 'why I'm in jail' discussion.
alleged criminal 1 "oh I robbed a grocery store at gun point."
alleged criminal 2 "oh me? I stole a car, ran from the police and hit a school bus"
alleged criminal 3 "oh me, I was screwing my girlfriend with my pistol and shot her in the hoo hoo"
and what about her? You know women talk about everything. We have a tendency to try to one up each other.
femme 1 "oh my boyfriend slapped me."
femme 2"oh my boyfriend cut the tires on my car."
femme 3 "my boyfriend followed me to the club and dragged me out when I got too much attention"
femme 4 "my boyfriend and I were having sex and he shot me in the cootchie with a smith and wesson...well he was...using that instead of captain happy...It WAS fun up until he shot me...those X Brand Tampons are REALLY absorbent."
I wonder if she waited for him and they picked up where they left off...then again, you know human nature...gotta push that envelope just that much further.
12/8/2005 11:49 pm
That's great. Very funny. BTW- they call pussy a cute little word in Austrailla---fanny. Or sometimes, cunt. But mostly Fanny, just like we call our butts. Aint that the best?|
LET'S GO METS!!!
8/8/2006 2:47 pm
this story reminds me of John Bobbitt, you know the guy who's girl friend bite off his thing off, (Capt Happy )|
Any way she bites it off, hops in the car and takes off, some where along her drive her spits it out in the middle of a intersection,
long story short the cops find it,
I can picture it, there's the cops and fire truck, they have the intersection blocked off, there's two cop standing over this penis and one said to the other, 'I am not picking it up, it's your turn'