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Blogs > wrMercury > Sanity of a madman

Will we or won't we?  

wrMercury 46M
924 posts
7/5/2011 4:51 pm
Will we or won't we?

One of my friends from college has had a rough couple of years since graduation. I am calling her Actress as she loves theatre and does local plays and musicals when she can. She was two years ahead of me in college. She was in my Dungeons and Dragons group and we still saw each other at the annual New Year’s Ever Gaming Party my one friend always holds.

After graduation she met a guy, got married, and moved to Canada with him. After two years they divorced when she found out that her husband was sleeping with her best friend who was also a guy. She moved back in with her parents and then moved in with her new boyfriend, who a lot of people call the asshole in retrospect. While they lived together he cheated on her with his ex, blamed it on bipolar issues, refused to take his meds or see a doctor about changing his meds, ultimately leaving her when everything was in her name, forcing her to file bankruptcy and move back in with her parents a second time. That time when she moved in with them, her parents got job offers in New Mexico, and she had no choice but to move with them, far away from all of her friends here in Indiana. While out there she has still found guys to love her and ultimately leave her. On top of all else, she has had some serious medical conditions of her own to deal with, further crippling her financially.

So we talk online a lot. I have heard about all of the boyfriends, how she has defended Asshole time and again, how this new guy will be different, etc. She is one of the few people that I do talk to about how much my wife drives me crazy and how I am not as happy as I like. We kind of play mutual therapist for each other.

Now we have always flirted with each other. Somehow last year it started to get more serious. We really started talking about what it would be like if we started to have sex. What she liked, what I liked. At some point I realized we weren’t flirting anymore. Granted, she was in New Mexico and dating a guy that she had dated once before (Asshole II as it turns out). She was going to come back to Indiana for the annual gaming party, and we were talking about could we find time alone where no one would find out we were alone together.

A lot of this revolved around her fantasy of being with two guys at once. Her boyfriend/fiancé was going to come to the party as well this year on a different flight. Even though she was in New Mexico, he was in Texas and couldn’t get the same days off. We talked about getting a hotel room and having a threesome, or finding some secluded place to fool around in the car (which was dashed because it is Indiana in January). The Hotel we couldn’t justify as everyone always stays with someone in the area to save on costs. As we were planning this it occurred to me “I am going to have sex with her”. This was an odd realization. I had fantasized about I before, but never really thought anything would ever happen.

As another side note to complicate this matter, my best friend has wanted to hook up with her for a few years, and been shot down repeatedly. He told me that he is finally moving on, which he has said before. But when I let him know that she told me specifically that should I divorce I was to call her, he finally did move on. So now I have the whole “my best friend likes her” thing going on in my head as well.

Actress has been very clear with me on this. If I get divorced and she is still single, neither of us will be for long if I want. As for the threesome idea, her fiancé/boyfriend (Asshole I wanted to get to know me better before committing to anything. This was understandable as we did not know each other, and he knew about me and her flirting the way we did. When we met at New Years I was sizing him up. Not my type much at all, but I was going to sleep with Actress, and it was her fantasy.
One thing with Actress is that she is scared of anyone she dates being Gay. This is entirely her Ex-husband’s fault. So I asked her if in a threesome with two guys, did she expect the two guys to play with each other. I was okay with that, which she did not know, but she killed that idea fast. She wanted all of the focus to be on her. So looking at Asshole II I figured we could take turns or whatever she wanted. I had been doing research into three ways with two guys, figuring out positions, and what did she want. She does not do anal at all, so it was going to be turn based, with her possibly giving one of us oral while the other played with her.

Asshole II seemed cautious around me. We never talked about the three of us at all. Actress still assures me that he knew about everything, but was the jealous type. He didn’t want me touching her unless he gave permission first.

I was the one who took her to the airport to pick him up. It was a 45 minute drive there, and then waiting about another half hour for his flight to disembark. We waited in the car, talking about everything. My marriage, what we wanted to do, if we could get away with it and how to get away with it. I loved it all. We did not do anything in the car that night except for talk. She wanted to make sure her boyfriend was 100% good with this before anything happened. The most I got the entire weekend was rubbing her back between games and sliding a few fingers into her underwear when no one was around. She laughed and smacked my hand away, reminding me that people might see something.

After New Year’s, the boyfriend officially became the fiancé. She made arrangements to move to Texas with him. After she had bought tickets, given her job official notice, and sent him rent money, he let her know it was over. She got her tickets changed to Indiana and decided it was time to move back near friends, and secured a place to stay rent free until she gets a full time job going again.

When it was the idea of a threesome, I asked if she would be okay having sex with a married man. I told her up front that nothing was going to change, that I was not leaving my wife right now for her. She was fine with that. After Asshole II left her, she has now told me that we are not going to date unless I am divorced. She has added that once I am divorced the sex will start immediately after. I told her once that I was considering meeting up with a guy I met online for sex, and she hated that idea. Not so much me having sex with a guy, as much as a guy I did not know and couldn’t fully trust. She just advises me that I need to get a divorce and sleep with her.

So will anything else develop when she officially moves back into the state late July? Who knows. The fact that we have fully discussed this makes me think that something may develop, but I don’t know what will happen. I’m not sure what I want to happen either. Eventually we will figure something out, but as to what and when is a mystery.

gottaring 52F
15850 posts
7/6/2011 11:23 am

 Not that you asked for my opinion, but I'm hearing warning bells. It's always tough to gauge situations like this from the outside because I don't know you, and I know even less about Actress. But warning bells are going off...

Wait- that's just the oven timer
When it comes to sex, I need a STRONG connection. Otherwise, the page just keeps buffering and takes FOREVER to load...


rm_69poptop69 58M

7/15/2011 3:48 pm

 hello my friend... you are still invited to drop by anytime....


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