Paying for it?  

wpgfunman 41M
32 posts
6/10/2006 9:46 am

Last Read:
7/6/2006 8:31 pm

Paying for it?

So a few buddies came over for some well deserved drinks after work yesterday and our conversation turned to my friend's stag to be held in a month. We were talking about getting strippers or an all-girl show (what better way to send a friend into marriage than by an all-girl show?) when we got on the topic of call girls. My friend (who makes decent coin) admitted that before he got married he often spent money on high-priced call-girls.

I was personally quite shocked by this cause I have never considered paying for it. I guess it I like having a bit of an emotional connection with the person I am with, even if it is just as friends. He said that he preferred paying for it because you always got what you wanted, the sex was usually great and the woman was always beautiful. Well, this topic led into a 3 hour debate on the benefits and cons of paying for sex.

My argument against paying for it involved not only the emotional/spiritual connection of having sex with someone you know, but also there is a certain level of fun and challenge in pursuing a woman and winning her affection. I also tend to be attracted to women with a strong sense of self, strong self image and strong self-esteem. I guess that to me, a woman that sells her body doesn't generally have those qualities.

I also view sex as a somewhat of a spiritual act. There is something very pure, very real about the sexual experience. The way we get wrapped up in the moment, the way our passion can override every single other worry/impulse/desire. The complete peace that comes after a sexual experience. The closeness that one can feel to a sexual partner without words. To me, sex is as close to divinity we can get in our lives. Besides, I view a woman's body as a temple. They are designed to bring life into the world, and having watched my child be born made me realize there is something very inherently spiritual about a woman.

I what it comes down to for me, paying for sex means that I am tarnishing my faith.

LIBlonde97 40F
1028 posts
6/10/2006 11:01 am

Wow, interesting post. I've always wondered if guys ever talk about this.

The main difference between your views, and the views of your friend before he was married, is that to him- at that point- sex was solely a commodity.

And it is. When stripped down to it, it's a service. It's the promise of an act in exchange for a promise of money or something of equivalent value. If it's a high quality service which meets or exceeds the needs of the buyer, the transaction is successful and satisfactory to both.

But yeah... that's pretty one dimensional. Because sex can be so much more. But then again... some men don't want more for whatever reason. IMO, to each his own, I don't think there's anything wrong with prostitution per se; it's ultimately a business, it just happens to involve a service that most people like to attribute intimate importance to. Just like surrogacy, and just like as if there were such women who were professional breastfeeders or something like that.

Looking back there are times where I was in relationships that made me feel like I was a sex worker.

However, I don't think this suggestion would have gone over too well:

"You know what, instead of taking me out to dinner before you fuck me, why don't you just give me the $100 and I'll pick up a slice of pizza on the way home if I'm hungry."

There is however, a big difference between having sex with someone you truly love and feel connected with, and someone who is just a fellow participant in the mutual achievement of orgasm.

You know that difference and it's important to you. At least you know where your beliefs lie... It wasn't as important to your friend at that particular point. Wants and needs change over time though.


Ubermik 49M
209 posts
6/10/2006 11:24 am

Sometimes we eat cordon bleu other times we grab a big mac

Sex has similar variants and personally I think trying to lump it all together as one thing is a bit narrow minded, plus I reckon most who claim to have such a holier than thou history just simply dont and HAVE fucked people they hardly knew or convinced themselves they were in "love" with a complete or practical stranger to alleviate their internal moralisings

Its then respouted at top volume to make them look good thereafter

Selective interpretation and self delusionary twisting of reality to create the desired self created illusion I reckon

loadeddice05 44M

6/10/2006 11:37 am

Bad thing about paying for it is after?? You kinda feel empty and plus your like a couple of bills poorer!!!!! They're not hookers!! there massage therapists!!!!

rm_art_persists 51M
1789 posts
6/10/2006 12:05 pm

Sometimes sex is just sex. I think turning it into a commodity degrades the person paying. In essence they are saying that their sexuality is worthless thus they need to pay in order to even out the score.... Our whole society needs to rethink their values.

BTW I have paid for it and felt like shit about it. But FFA is also set up on a men pay for sex basis.... This is why I only blog here

Ubermik 49M
209 posts
6/10/2006 12:29 pm

Actually, when ISNT sex a commodity?

Even within a relationship its subtly bartered and exchanged for other services

Try doing nothing at all for a partner, withdrawing conversation, company, attention and all forms of interaction and see how long you still get your "non comodity" sex for

Just because a deal isnt verbally and financially agreed doesnt mean its not a comodity and isnt being exchanged for things

No interpersonal relationship or aspect of one is given for absolutely nothing, even at the lowest form its given for the person who is giving its own personal ends to be met

Prostitution is only viewed differently because its the most honest, open and aboveboard barter for sex as its actually vocalised, all other forms of sex are exchanged for things that are rarely if ever vocalised or discussed but it IS still a fully "sold" and exchanged comodity and doesnt exist in any other form other than for merely selfish and self serving ends such as scratching a personal itch with no cares at all for what the other person is or isnt getting

FunFlirty4u 45F

6/13/2006 5:41 pm

Sleeping with prostitutes is like making your cat dance with you on its hind legs. You know it's wrong, but you try to convince yourself that they're enjoying it as well. - Scott Capurro

I saw this quote and thought of your blog post.

wpgfunman 41M
74 posts
6/13/2006 8:39 pm

lol...thanks Secretary

I always appreciate a greedy woman. Always a challenge to meet her needs.

wpgfunman 41M
74 posts
6/13/2006 8:40 pm

I really like your quote Funflirty. I can't imagine that a prostitute enjoys what they are doing. Although I have heard that callgirls make big money.

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