Soothed but domestically challenged.  

wombat_ 48M
128 posts
12/5/2005 5:15 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Soothed but domestically challenged.

Thanks for the soothing advice and the personal emails following my waxing adventures. is still quite smooth. Something I wasn't expecting. Shaving lasts but a few days before the angry itch starts and the public embarrassment of a quick scratch and alignment.

But enough of my baron pubic area...I was reminded today of something very amusing. I can laugh at myself now but at the time it was somewhat challenging. After being "looked after" for over 15 years I found myself a few years ago single...out on my arse and having to survive! From the nest of mum and dad I ventured to a shared bachelor pad and a series of girlfriends through Uni that ensured my domestic abilities were never really put to the test leading me right through my marriage and ending with a "thud" as I was flung into mid 30's "singledom".

I have a series of events that can only be described as appalling domestic skills worthy of the greatest shaming. The first I'll cover in this post is the dreaded gnocchi.

Pasta was a regular staple in my diet. Having first ventured out (thrust out) I had few appliances and very few basic cooking utensils. I craved some pasta so when I saw the Latina fresh gnocchi I got excited. Grabbed a tin of sauce and a pack of this wonderful gnocchi and started reading the instructions. "Place in boiling water and then bring back to boil and serve". SIMPLE. So I looked around the baron kitchen and saw the logical "water boiling appliance".

I placed the gnocchi in the kettle. I held down the little button so it kept boiling and cooked it a little longer as I was worried about eating raw potato gnocchi. Well, how was I to know that gnocchi and kettle elements have an amazing fascination and attraction? The gnocchi all seemed to be attracted to the element like two magnets and proceeded to clag together like this sodden mass and then burn!

I was really annoyed and had destroyed a perfectly good $12 kettle and wasted about $2.95 on a pack of gnocchi. So I wrote to the pasta company and the supermarket that sold it complaining that their cooking instructions were not clear and were in now way appropriate for a newly found bachelor. I had followed the instructions as best as could be done with such ambiguous guidelines and the whole experience had cost me at least $20 including the take away meal I was forced to have.

To their credit, I received a very polite letter from the supermarket with a gift voucher far exceeding the value I had lost. I received another from the pasta company denying any responsibility and suggesting I take cooking classes.

Overall, a good learning experience. Kettles boil water only! After nearly 3 years I can now reflect and laugh but am forever scared by the office back chat and open laughter that ensured after I posted my letter on the work fridge.

Yes...domestically challenged and very un-prepared for the life as a bachelor trying to survive in a lifestyle that a partnership makes you accustomed. Whilst this was mildly amusing it does make me think of all the emotional challenges that also grip the soul during the trauma of long term relationships ending. Many of which far exceed that of the "gnocchi block".

OK...time for another scotch. I know how to pour that and have no challenges in consuming!!


frangipanigal 44F
10406 posts
12/5/2005 6:44 pm

Cute story...but I can't actually believe it.

Remind me to tell you about the time I nearly burned the house down with a kitchen fire (twice actually now that I think about it...) and yes I am a damn good cook!!

Frangi xx

crystal_crystal 41F
13 posts
12/5/2005 9:27 pm

I used to date a man just as useless in the kitchen. It doesnt surprise me at all. What is interesting is your writing. I enjoyed the story anyway. Pity you arent under 30 because you write well and sound educated and that is certainly something rare to find here on this site. Even though i seek a female only, i get stupid one line emails from men probably all capable of boiling pasta in their kettle. hehehehe.

So have you improved?

wyvernrose 38F
3895 posts
12/6/2005 4:52 am

ROFLMAO thankgod Boney is that bad ROFLMAO

you don't have any kids I am guessing ROFLMAO


wombat_ 48M

12/6/2005 3:06 pm

In fact I do have 2 kids (boys 6 & 9) and they took great pleasure after seeing the letter on the fridge and demanding the full story in telling their mother (my ex) about my exploits. You must appreciate that domestic exposure was limited right through until being flung out on my arse and having to fend for myself. With a mum that did everything for me as a teenager through to "take away" and restaurant staples through Uni and then a wife and nanny that ran the house during "wedded bliss" there really wasnt much opportunity to become asimilated with kitchen appliances.

But now...2-3 years later....I can manage almost any kitchen or domestic duty!! A rapid learner.

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