|Blogs > womanoirish > SexontheBlog by Woman O'Irish|
Okay, it’s not always a good idea to drink before one goes on a first date. It goes like this, a gentleman wanted to meet me for dinner. That same evening I was also invited to go out with coworkers for drinks to celebrate a birthday. Since I like this coworker, it was a natural to say yes to this. Upon checking my schedule, I realized it was also the same night I scheduled a dinner date with this certain gentleman. Fuck. Okay ‒ I can do both.
Wrong. First, I drank WAY too much at the birthday thingy (weel, ya gotta toast, aye?) Second, drinking before dating makes one late to the date. Not a good first impression. So, smoothing things over is hard enough when one is sober, but a little bit tipsy is almost impossible.
Then, it doesn’t help that the drinking has impaired one’s social skills to the point that one cannot help but make eye-contact with the hot, hot man two tables over who’s built like a football player (quarterback, not a lineman) with the sexiest butt and strong arms built to swoon in.
Nor does it help that this blind first date is such a Little Gnome that it’s easy to flirt with Mr. Hottie Two-Tables-Over because one can see right over the top of Little Gnome’s head.
Or that such observation caused unruly giggles to burst forth inappropriately when little gnome is telling a somewhat serious story that Tispy Irish Woman wasn’t giving two-cents worth of attention to. This prompted Little Gnome inquire about misplaced laughter upon which Tipsy excuses herself to the ladies room to gather her wits.
Unfortunately (or not) Mr. Hottie was coming out of the men’s room and Ms. Tipsy Irish Woman, having the Irish gift of gab, stops him for a chat. Twenty-five flirty minutes and one phone number slid into Mr. Hottie’s back pocket next to his tight ass later, Ms. Tipsy Irish Woman returns to her table. And finds that Little Gnome has burrowed his way home without her.
Still giggling uncontrollably and not so tipsy anymore, Irish Woman returns safely home. Whereupon, she receives her first phone call from Mr. Hottie.
Oh hell, WTF do I know? Drink, damnit!