Secret Santa Crush  

womanoirish 54F
346 posts
12/23/2005 2:39 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Secret Santa Crush

Here’s a holiday mystery I’ve never understood. A fat guy in a red suit getting laid. I’ve seen it in every Playboy™ December edition I’ve ever looked at ‒ Santa Claus doinking the lady of the house. Every cartoon has a different position, too. Standing up (for a fat man, he’s pretty strong), on the couch, over the couch, front of the fireplace (Oh Santa, how you do know what a woman likes), in his sleigh with Rudolph’s nose blinking like the red light district in Amsterdam, and the bed (there was a fireplace in the bedroom, I guess to explain what Santa was doing there in the first place). Funniest cartoons I’ve ever seen.

Then, of course, there’s Lauren Graham (she’s so hot) who plays out every woman’s fantasy of doing the big, jolly man by riding Billy Bob Thornton like a hobby horse in Bad Santa. Which is the funniest fucking holiday movie. Ever. Of course, Billy Bob isn’t big like Santa. Must be why Lauren had her eyes closed. The better to imagine you are someone else, darlin’.

So, I’ll have to admit it. I’d do Santa. Fuck him in a heartbeat. Must be the uniform. I’ve always wondered how big that cock is underneath that red suit. Maybe this Christmas I’ll get to find out.


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