Unreasonable Expectations and A F F  

wistfuljester 64M
1259 posts
7/22/2006 5:23 pm

Last Read:
7/25/2006 12:16 am

Unreasonable Expectations and A F F

I see a lot of people on this site who have inflated opinions of their own visual sex appeal. I also see a lot of people who think this is nothing but a "fuck site"--as if human beings can truly be divided into tidy little compartments for this activity or the other.

As to the first, some people seem to have incredibly unrealistic expectations for partners. It tickles me when I see men or women who are older or larger demanding that their partners be younger and athletic. Hey, I understand having preferences, but how much are you missing out on by strictly limiting them to something that you yourself don't fit into?

Some women can be particularly bad about this, because they reason that men so overwhelming outnumber women here that they can take their pick. Well, if all they want is to get laid, that may work. But I see time and again where women who call themselves BBWs get hurt, because those muscle-bound sex partners turned out to be just using them for their pussies, viewing them as "desperate" and expendable.

On the flip side, many men see profiles of young, hot and horny women who claim to want to have sex with just about anybody, and they write to them actually expecting something other than what they get: an invitation to a porn site. Pretty soon, those guys are whining about the fakes on here, and one has to wonder if they have tried to contact anyone besides the "barbie dolls"?

Listen, I moderate a group called Older And Younger For All. Does that mean I expect to hook up with some 20-year-old gorgeous babe? Hardly! I'm almost 54, I have gray/white hair, and I'm 50 pounds overweight--I probably couldn't keep up with her...lol. Besides, even if I did get together with someone like that, if she didn't have a good mind and heart I would quickly lose interest. And even though I generally relate better to women who are 10 to 20 years younger than me, I would be perfectly happy with the right woman of ANY age.

I also don't limit potential partners by body type; yes, I need to be attracted to a woman, but there are a LOT of factors that go into that for me--such as her eyes, her hair, her smile, her intelligence and her attitude.

Which brings me to my second point: very few of us can separate our minds and emotions from our bodies. Human beings are ALL of those things, and more. Even if this WERE nothing but a "fuck site", people still want to at least like each other. I mean, would you REALLY have sex with someone who is obnoxious, boring or scary? Only a very few people would honestly say "yes".

I said all that to say this: have an honest understanding of yourself as a TOTAL person, and then be reasonable in your expectations. If you'll do that, and pursue your goals with patience and wit, you WILL find a great partner on this site!


7/22/2006 6:27 pm

Very well said.

wistfuljester replies on 7/22/2006 6:52 pm:
Thanks for stopping by and saying so.

8321 posts
7/24/2006 11:42 pm

You make some great points, Jester.

Many people on here have unreasonable expectations, as they view this as a sexual playground of sorts.

Instead of being real about things and seeing people as people regardless of age or other factors, they tend to limit themselves to their set preconceived notions, which often turn out to be fruitless in the end.

It's a self-fulfilling prophecy of sorts, isn't it?

You are forgetting one thing though.....due to the disparity in the ration of males to females, women do for the most part get what they want.

There are alot of desperate men on here and that tends to give these women justification for their unrealistic expectations.

Men have unrealistic expectations simply because they think pussy will fall in their lap.

Two different dynamics, but the same end result.


"My every move is a calculated step, to bring me closer to embrace an early death." -Tupac Shakur

wistfuljester replies on 7/25/2006 12:18 am:
Yeah, I thought about that, but in light of "conventional wisdom" that states most men just want to fuck and most women want SOME sort of emotional connection, I chose to talk about how those women who "take their pick" often end up short-changed and surprised.

Generalizations are difficult at best; fortunately, there are exceptions that prove the rule in both sexes.

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