A few of life's lessons  

wildfirecoyote 59M
27 posts
11/29/2005 10:06 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

A few of life's lessons


Never date a girl who lives at the back gate of a Navy base.

Never date a girl whose phone number begins with 1-800-.

Never date a girl who has a tatto on the insides of her thighs that reads "WELCOME OFFICERS AND MEN OF THE US THIRD FLEET".

Never date a girl who has a free clinic on speed dial.

Never date a girl who gets Christmas cards from the local vice squad.

Never date a girl who gets fan mail from the inmates at the state penitentiary.

Never date a girl who gets fan mail from the inmates of a mental health facility.

Never date a girl who knows all the birthmarks on the Houston Astros.

Never date a girl who calls out the name of a military unit while having sex with you. For example: "I love you, third platoon!" or "Fuck me harder, Charlie Company!"

If a cop has just pulled you over for speeding:

When he walks up to the door and asks you to roll down the window, don't throw up on his shoes.

Also never say, "Was I going too fast, officer? I'm sorry. I'm so drunk I don't know what I'm doing."

Certainly don't ask him to hold your beer/joint while you get out of the car to take a leak and then piss on his front tires.

Unless you are into S&M, most things in life are like sex: if it hurts, you're doing it wrong.

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