don't understand  

wildangelinneed 42F
53 posts
7/9/2006 11:17 am

Last Read:
2/4/2007 5:56 pm

don't understand

YOu know my life has been wow you know not wow in a good way that is for sure..
But I mean tell me y do men marry someone then cheat on them and then try and get it us back.. I don't understand can you all tell me this you judge females or males?? I think that you should love the person they way they are not what you want , its the inside that count not the outside..the personality is a puluse what do you think?

NTTs_ilsuconu 59M

7/9/2006 1:04 pm

I've avoided marriage since my only marriage ended in divorce, only 14 months after it started. That was 20 years ago. Why do people cheat? I don't know... why did she. I stopped believing it was my fault... that I wasn't good enough. Since then I've learned to accept myself first for who I am, and in that way, I am able to better accept others for who they are inside. Personality is always my yard-stick for measuring the success of a relationship, because looks can be deceiving.

Djeeper1987 47M

7/9/2006 1:21 pm

Thats one reason why I don't wanna get married.

Carpe Diem

amoldenough 69F
16436 posts
7/9/2006 2:49 pm

I think if you want to change a person, you don't love them. You want to change them into someone you can love. Why not just leave the one alone and go looking for the one who is perfect for you. I was in a marriage where I alwasy felt like I was being judged, when love should be unconditional. That is why I left after 33 years. I hope you can find someone who loves you for who you are.

"Don't cry because it's over; smile because it happened."

CuriousDarkness 41M
1 post
7/9/2006 11:11 pm

Wow, there are a lot of blanket statements here. Everyone makes judgements. It's an understated fact of life. When you make a comment about the way someone dresses or how "those kids" act, you're making a judgement. Afaict, unconditional love only truly exists between a parent & child and even that can be stretched to its limits under the wrong circumstances.

There's nothing wrong with having standards. But it's something that people should be upfront about. If someone doesn't live up to your standards or you don't live up to theirs, you should cut things short rather than trying to force a square peg into a round hole. Down that path lies nothing but pain.

The problem with loving someone "the way they are" is that "the way they are" can change. If they change into someone that you're no longer comfortable/compatible with (say, extreme example, a drug addict), then are you wrong for "not loving" them like you used to and trying to get them back to their "old self"? How many compromises do you make for the sake of "love"? Also, how much do they really love you if they're forcing you to make these compromises?

rm_tjay26t 37M
1 post
7/13/2006 8:31 am

I really dont know what to say on this matter..i never really faced anything like this..but we do judge people everyday and its stupid especially if you are married and you are judgeing you life long partner.....

wildangelinneed 42F
5 posts
7/21/2006 9:47 am

I heard on the radio about guys and how they judg women that are over weight.. Hey you know one day that when you less expect it your going to meet someone and talk for a long time and to come to find out she is a large women..., and there is nothing wrong with heavy women at all.. I think if you judge females your not worth the time in my life cause think if it was you that way and people always putting you down come one have fun and happy looking

rm_alex626fv 47M

7/25/2006 6:48 am

i dont believe its the way a person looks its all on how you feel in the inside the chemistry how you get along the differences & so on
i see peaple who are beatiful but dont have that love in between them & they dont last & they also cheat so it depends if two have the love for each other that counts


8/3/2006 9:07 am

If you find the answer, let us all know. I don't judge. I think personality is more important than looks or figure. If you have fun being around them and enjoy their company, everything else is immaterial.

Love, Light, Laughter, Leave a Legacy,


wildangelinneed 42F
5 posts
8/3/2006 2:31 pm

I have to say that I thank you all for your comments but this is things that go in my head and want answers to you know.. I have not been in the dating thing for awhile and wanted to know thing ty again

rm_tigerstail05 38M
19 posts
8/4/2006 11:45 am

Well I can say it goes both ways. My ex wife did the same thing to me. When i told her that i wasnt going to be her pet project any longer and I was going to be me. She had the nerve to tell me that i just had so many things wrong with me that she had to always be fixing me. !!!!! Hello does anybody see something wrong in this statement. Then come to find out she was fucking some guy on the side to boot. Soo anyways im over the situation now but I just thought you might find it interesting that it comes from both sides.

saved3 65M

5/9/2009 9:24 am

If we knew the answer to that 50% Of the marrages would not end, but go on forever.

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