A trip down "What If?" Lane  

widowsaddiction 47F
166 posts
4/6/2006 6:23 pm

Last Read:
4/23/2006 10:44 pm

A trip down "What If?" Lane

I have been so depressed all day that I finally got to that point of mental exhaustion that finally pushed me over the edge into being seriously fucking pissed off at myself.

I took a little trip down "What If?" Lane. On the way, I explored all the nooks and crannies. What if things were different, and he decided he wanted me all the time? Would I be willing to go backward and sacrifice all the hard won changes that I've made to become the woman that I am today? Would I be willing to be nothing more than a cog in some huge machine, to have no more ambition to do better....to BE better? Would I be willing....no....would I be CONTENT to be the house mom with some dead end job just to make ends meet?

Yep, I took a good, long walk down "What If?" Lane and ended up on "No Fucking Way" Avenue.

Not this kid.

p33c3y0 42M

4/7/2006 9:49 am

it's good to know what you want. sometimes, though, the results are ... unpredictable.


4/23/2006 8:38 am

It's funny. This reminds me so much of a guy that I used to work with who had constantly been trying toget his wife to be more assertive and to do the things she really wanted.

Then one day he said to me "I'm shocked . She's actually dooing it now. She's speaking up for herself and expressing what she really feels and doing the things that she really wants to do." And he was quite pleased with both her and his efforts to bring her out of her shell.

Not too long after that I saw him looking rather unhappy and asked him what was wrong and he said "I think my wife leanred what I trying to teach her a little too good. " and I said "how is that" and he answered with "she's now expressed to me quite a few surprising things the main one being that she'd like a divorce."

And somehow that situation makes me think of your own.

I hope you are able to resolve yours so that you start feeling good again. I don't like hearing of you being not happy.


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