4-5-06 7 years later  

widowsaddiction 47F
166 posts
4/5/2006 1:48 pm

Last Read:
4/23/2006 10:45 pm

4-5-06 7 years later

I told him today that I couldn’t do this anymore. I have never hurt this badly in my life. I feel as though a layer of my soul has been violently torn apart from the rest of me. This is the man I love more than I have ever loved another. He’s the first lover I took as an adult, and the last.

I have tried being angry, I have, but it’s not working this time. All my prior posts hint at this, but it’s all a front, false bravado. The truth of the matter is, I simply don’t know how to love him and leave him. It is so much easier when I can pretend to hate him….so much easier to try and walk away. This is so much more difficult, to be crazy in love with him and know that I have to walk away before my spirit is completely crushed, but I have no other choice right now.

I don’t think this is over for good, but I do think it’s over for now, and I feel as though dying might be easier.

“But I loved you, and then I lost you…..

And I will never be the same.”

Hipnoses 58M/51F

4/5/2006 11:12 pm

Dear Anon------s, Your thoughts are overwhelming your perspective. It may be a simple case of seven year itch for him, or you? Try to talk to him, again. Ask him what he wants to have for his family, or if he wants a family? If you can't ask that, you won't leave him.
Dieing is not a solution. Giving up is not an easy thing, either. Take some time and get away from him. See a sister or old school friend to find some peace with yourself. If he doesn't start calling you by the end of the third day(leave a contact number if you think he still loves you), he isn't thinking about you, he is thinking about himself. If his parent(s) are alive, talk to them. Seek guidance from them if they love you as their daughter(in law),but talk to them or anyone who has influence with your man. Sometimes you have to fight for what is right. I don't mean with him! I mean ,use a strategy that leaves him defenseless and desirous of you. We aren't just getting him horny. You have to make him realize there is a hot woman under his sheets, and its better being with you than any of his buddies or projects or what ever is pulling you two apart. If he's a dud, make him a firecracker. Slip a viagra in his drink on friday night. Just use lots of lube or you'll both be sore!Candles and flowers are fine for girls but guys are curious, and the right intrigue like a visit to a strip club with him or a bisexual girl in the bedroom to stir up the excitement for him. It may be better to share a little slice if you get to keep the rest of "honey-pie" for yourself. If you quit, that may be the quits for both of you. If you try something daring, you might hook him for life! I hope this gives you an idea or two, to save something that was important for both of you 7 years ago. Regards H.

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