there are assholes everywhere..........  

wickedeasy 66F  
14999 posts
6/27/2006 1:17 pm
there are assholes everywhere..........

Just seems like there are more in this damn city.

Today, I started a program for chronic abusers ‒ a housing first initiative where the housing is the carrot. Three staff members walked 4 men, who between them had been drinking for over 100 years, up a long hill to their new home. For people who have lived on the street for so many years, the prospect of a place to call their own was mind boggling ‒ the excitement was palpable.

We walked into the building and I handed each man a key. I cried, they cried, the landlord cried. The rules are strict and they know this home exists “just so long and long enough”. They screw up; they’re back on the street. There was something immensely powerful in this moment ‒ such hope, such potential.

Then it started. The director of the Vets program who has 13 clients in the same buidling said there was a vodka bottle in the hallway and blamed it on these men. 4 men, 3 staff and not a single one had been out of my sight in the 30 minutes we’d been there. NO way the bottle belonged to one of them.

He had the temerity to demand that I breathalyze them on the spot. When I refused, he called the head of the housing authority. He also took the landlord aside and whispered to him frantically about “these types of people”.

A tiny little window of joy and then the SOS. My guests sighed and kept their eyes down and I could see the street posture reappear and I wanted to slap that son of a bitch so hard.
But I’m a grown up and so I didn’t smack him. I just took my guys out to lunch and we talked it through. None of this will be easy for them. The battle they are fighting is for their lives. I am proud of them for choosing to do this ‒ for trying.

Just wondering why someone else has to start laying land mines


You cannot conceive the many without the one.

NGs_lady 64F
762 posts
6/27/2006 2:11 pm

Because some people are assholes. I will send up a prayer that it workes out for them and you.



wickedeasy replies on 6/27/2006 3:28 pm:

sending you love and more love


rm_PeanutJackie 35F
1286 posts
6/27/2006 3:43 pm

wow, i can't stand people like that. I hope the men make it through ok. It's a tough battle

"I am beautiful no matter what you say, words can't bring me down. So don't you bring me down today."

wickedeasy replies on 6/27/2006 4:22 pm:
this is their battle to win or lose

they just don't need any help with the losing of it, yanno?

MaggiesWishes 59F

6/27/2006 4:19 pm

I will send up special wishes.
Don't ya love how people focus on kicking ya when you're down, instead of being a humantarian and helping. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

Warm huggies 2ya Sis

wickedeasy replies on 6/27/2006 4:23 pm:
thank you maggie

don't know why some folks have to make someone else feel little in order for them to feel big - pfffffffffft

libgemOH 56M/52F

6/27/2006 4:33 pm

I think the title says it all hun! I worked briefly for a community corrections home for men with MRDD and got the same things said about my guys. They screw up once and they're labeled for life. It's very sad and one of many reasons I do not work there or even in the field anymore. -B {=}

wickedeasy replies on 6/28/2006 6:34 pm:
but love - we NEED folks like you

somethingelse40 74M
14676 posts
6/27/2006 8:53 pm

All of my enemies are potential friends but some of them seem to be completely unaware.

wickedeasy replies on 6/28/2006 6:34 pm:
i like that

i just hope i can keep it in mind instead of kicking the shit out of the asshole

maestrosenzaverg 61M

6/27/2006 11:07 pm

Hey, Wicked--been meaning to look you up. Great blog--very heartfelt, and meaningful--interesting to see you HERE, of all places.

If it helps you put the jerk in perspective (and I work as a "Landlord Tenant" attorney, so I know how bloody impossible it is to get someone to give someone in recovery a break), please allow me to share a story of hope:

A Saturday morning in late spring, warm, muggy and only getting warmer and muggier, on a street in the city in which you likely work, down the street from what once was a main commercial thoroughfare, but which is now littered with broken glass, and broken dreams.

A City pickup truck languid with the heat, shows up amidst a bunch of empty lots, punctuated by a few dilapidated houses, looking like a smile way beyond the miracles of modern dentistry. Truck drops shovels, rakes, garbage bags and other accoutrements of a "block cleanup," requested by the neighbors, and those caring absentee landlords like my law partner and me. A few curious teenagers and younger kids amble on over from a rag tag game of hoops. "Whassup?" one asks, suspiciously.

"Block cleanup. Wanna help? Gonna make the street a little more pleasant for everyone."

We had bought a house out of foreclosure, to help out the bank president, who had invested mortgage money in way too many of these lost causes, and then for good measure, we added the "vacant" lot next door, which had served for 40+ years as a junkyard--we were able to date the origin of the junkyard by the 1940 Ford truck, which was the first of 6 vehicles "parked" in the back of this 3000 square foot, non-buildable lot.

"Nah," was the response from most of them--"be the same a week from now, after all that work."

Undaunted, we took the supplies, and the few brave, counterculture optimists that were willing to follow us, and began our onslaught on the filth and debris piled almost everywhere. By noon, we had a credible pile of plastic bags for the pickup truck, and a bunch of very tired kids.

Partner and I felt it appropriate to order 20 pizzas, to maintain the enthusiasm. The kids, amazed at our unheralded generosity, dug in with gratitude. One of the little girls, our tenant, perhaps 10, looked at me as she was grabbing two slices of pizza--I got the impression she hadn't SEEN two slices of pizza together in the same place in a long time--and asked, plaintively, "may I take one to my Mom?"

I looked at her with a combination of admiration (for her desire to share with her Mother) and pregnant opportunity. Mom was a drugged out, "generational" welfare recipient--producing offspring after offspring to "improve" her income, and encouraging her older daughters to do the same.

I asked the child, "where's Mom?" allowing her to take in, and infer for herself the full meaning of the question. The lightbulb went on behind those beautiful, sad brown eyes! "I guess she doesn't deserve any. She didn't help."

I answered her, without answering her, "you take another one for yourself, honey. You worked really hard this morning."

Almost twenty years later, this same street is alive with "first time homebuyers" (I just closed on two of them for the "big, benificent bank" a month ago), but that moment in time was one the most meaningful in my entire life. Something I did, only incidentally, gave that child at least a hint about how to break the pattern.

Keep up YOUR splendid work, Wicked--your guys will someday appreciate it.


wickedeasy replies on 6/28/2006 6:37 pm:
thank you

whoever you are - do i know you?

this story is wonderful and full of hope and just what i needed to hear

ButteryDelight 58F

6/28/2006 6:28 am

You hit the nail on the head WE. Too many of that kind of people around. I wrote about that same thing on my blog in a post titled Held. It's a fine line between helping some one better them selves and in contributing to their problem. I'm worked many hours in the homeless shelter here and have seen the very same thing you described, makes me want to chew and spit nails.

Buttery Delight

wickedeasy replies on 6/28/2006 6:40 pm:
BD - last night one of the vets gave one of my guests his extra radio and then sat with him while he had the shakes

ain't that grand?

maestrosenzaverg 61M

6/28/2006 10:59 pm

No, Wicked, not that I know of. But if you think you do, I will confirm if you e-mail me at one of my other addresses. Not sure how our paths would have crossed, and not sure how (safely, for both our sake) to determine whether they have. But if you are able to keep instilling courage in your clients, I'm sure we will meet some day. I suspect we have many friends in common.


FrankPicasso 52M

7/7/2006 4:36 am

Hey there, Wickedeasy. Great handle. Yeah, I hear you on the assholes everywhere thing. It's good, what you're doing. Very inspirational. Maestro too. Kind of restores my faith a little in humanity as a whole.

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