the koan of friendship  

wickedeasy 66F  
14995 posts
7/9/2006 6:44 am
the koan of friendship

A long time ago in China there were two friends, one who played the harp skillfully and one who listened skillfully.

When the one played about a mountain, the other would say: "I can see the mountain before us."

When the other played about water, the listener would exclaim: "Here is the running stream!"

But the listener fell sick and died. The first friend cut the strings of his harp and never played again.

there is in this koan a lesson i am trying to learn - for me, at this moment it is that the essence of one can be recognized and celebrated by another. a dishonor is done when the listener chooses not to hear, not to understand

and who is to say where the true art lies, with the skilled performer, or with the friend who is able to fully see and feel what is being proffered.

does the artist choose not to practice his skill out of ego when his friend dies or out of respect for the fact that his art lived because his friend could perceive it?

i have a friend who is a nurturer, she does this naturally, without expectation of anything in return.

the giver is the one who should be thankful - smiles

You cannot conceive the many without the one.

angelofmercy5 58F
17881 posts
7/9/2006 7:36 am

Beautiful! I'm going to think about this one all day.

wickedeasy replies on 7/9/2006 1:49 pm:
so am i

libgemOH 56M/52F

7/9/2006 9:45 am

How beautiful!! Smiling and a small tear.... -B

wickedeasy replies on 7/9/2006 1:50 pm:
yes, you are


7/9/2006 9:49 am

So lovely {=}

just a squirrel trying to get a nut

wickedeasy replies on 7/10/2006 6:16 am:
as are you - your kindness is much appreciated

MamChelle 48F  
1443 posts
7/9/2006 10:51 am

and most submissives in the LS are givers..... some just give untill it hurts a little too that, please know it is okay sometimes to pull use that safe call. *gentle hugs* c

warmandsexy52 64M
13164 posts
7/9/2006 5:11 pm

What a profound post. I have always found too that there is generosity in accepting.

warm xx

wickedeasy replies on 7/10/2006 6:18 am:
it took me a long time to realize that a gift is jsut that - it requires nothing except that you receive it

smiles and thinks of a friend who has just received such a gift from her family

rm_Now_N_Zen 54M
82 posts
7/9/2006 8:13 pm

the Koan is beautiful!

But for me if I were the listener I would hope the harpist would continue to share his art in hopes that if I could not hear it I could feel the enjoyment he felt in performing and his new audience experienced from listening as I had...
If I were the performer, I would play in honor of my friend in hopes he could still enjoy and interpret my music or that the energy from my harp could reach him and comfort him...

Thanks for visiting my blog.

wickedeasy replies on 7/10/2006 6:19 am:
and does that mean that you would not cut the strings of your lyre for such a kisnhip as this?

somethingelse40 74M
14676 posts
7/9/2006 8:25 pm

The true artist is one who insists on producing a supply, whether or not there’s any demand. There is in this lesson a koan of ice cream if you procure it. I never miss reality when I'm not in it, but it’s sometimes nice to come back to.

Life can be an interesting, worthwhile experience, from beginning to end. Or, it can be like mine. Your own common sense should tell you that common sense alone is not enough. I was utterly complacent until I read Everything You Know About Love And Sex Is Wrong. Now I’m thoroughly confused. Had you ever wondered why STIFF HAPPENS! … or imagined a more engaging spectacle, suspense or mystery, than the common f**k in folk lore?

wickedeasy replies on 7/10/2006 6:20 am:
my brother and my best friend are both artists and they woudl agree with you -

but i think that you may have missed the larger lesson here

ButteryDelight 58F

7/9/2006 10:24 pm

Hmmmmm. This is very thought provoking. I've read this several times and can only ask who is the giving for? The benefit of the giver or the benefit of the receiver? Or perhaps there is no benefit to it at all. I think giving is just that. A gift, expecting nothing in return. Not even that someone will hear, listen and perhaps understand.

Buttery Delight

wickedeasy replies on 7/10/2006 6:30 am:
there is another koan i share with you BD

a sensei received a large gift to use as he saw fit to keep his place of learning open to those that wished to learn. The donor was there one evening, with many others seeking enlightenment. the master spoke of many things that evening and yet never mentioned the generosity of the donor.

at the end of the evening - all the students left except this man and the master turned to him and smiled.

the donor said, "master, i had hoped you would thank me for my gift while the others were here"

the master said, "the giver is the one who should give thanks"

i know it sounds simplistic - but one doesn't give with expectations - if you do, it isn't a gift, is it? and the donor, did he receive the lessons of the evening or was he so caught up in his need to be acknowledged that his heart was not open to them?

so you see my lovely BD - you heard what the donor was unable to hear. smiles and a high 5

somethingelse40 74M
14676 posts
7/10/2006 5:03 pm

I implore you to set me straight, sweetheart, even if that means the straight and narrow, that narrow road that winds dead ahead, some unbeaten jungle path, or no path at all.

wickedeasy replies on 7/12/2006 8:58 am:
grins - who are you????

Panthiest 72M

7/10/2006 7:15 pm

To me, if one is always giving and the other always receiving, it's like pouring wine into a glass with a hole in it. While there's wine to be poured, it's a state of grace, serving another. But soon the wine is gone and you're left with a big mess to clean up.
To go back to your story of the musician and the listener. Does the musician make entertainment or music? Entertainment would require a musician and an audience. Music requires only a musician.

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