here's your sign...................  

wickedeasy 66F  
14977 posts
7/20/2006 12:57 pm
here's your sign...................

my board veep sent these to me - just sharing the chuckle

I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?
To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?"
He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask."
- Happened in Birmingham, Ala.

The stoplight on the corner buzzes when its safe to cross the street.I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine.
She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for.
I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red.Appalled, she responded, "What on earth are blind people doing driving?!" - She was a probation officer in Wichita, KS

I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the sake of her own life, couldn't understand why her system would not turn on.
- A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriffs office no less.

When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working
feverishly to unlock the drivers side door. As I watched from the passenger side,I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked.
His reply, "I know - I already got that side."
- This was at the Ford dealership in Canton, Mississippi!

and one from my work today:

i was talking on the phone and someone knocked on my office door - i said "who is it?" and the person i was talking to on the phone got all huffy and answered "how should i know" while the person at the door didn't answer at all. i excused myself from the phone, went to open the door, saying as i crossed to it, "who is it?"

i open the door and it is one of my staff - and i asked, "why didn't you answer when i asked who was there?" - she said, "oh, were you talking to me?"


my brain hurts

You cannot conceive the many without the one.

MaggiesWishes 59F

7/20/2006 1:38 pm

I loved the last one ... classic employee trying not to disturb you.
And we wonder where they find them ???

warm huggies 2ya Sis

wickedeasy replies on 7/21/2006 7:38 am:
aaargh - i think they find me


canyaz 48F
17087 posts
7/20/2006 3:52 pm

A customer came into my store complaining about the access from the west. She said we needed to put in a left turn lane in front of the store. I asked her from what direction she came in? She said west. I asked how? She said she turned left there at the left turn lane. The one right in front of my store that turns into my drive and parking lot.

There is a difference between a good BJ and a bad BJ.

wickedeasy replies on 7/20/2006 4:34 pm:
now my brain hurts even more


rm_gerson42 52M
2419 posts
7/20/2006 7:48 pm

I'm crackin up. Thanks, I needed that.

wickedeasy replies on 7/21/2006 7:39 am:

and ger - nice to see you back

rm_AnOddGirl 57F
3469 posts
7/20/2006 8:53 pm

LOL... These people so need to be taken out of the gene pool!

wickedeasy replies on 7/21/2006 7:41 am:

i remember a professor once telling a classmate - you are a disgrace to your parents' DNA - the response - my folks don't belong to that club


somethingelse40 74M
14676 posts
7/21/2006 3:08 am

Just as I nearly had the answer I forgot the question.

wickedeasy replies on 7/21/2006 7:43 am:
sh, sh, sh

now just relax and take your pills

rm_shannee2006 52F
3355 posts
7/21/2006 10:06 am

LMAO! the sad thing is that I sometimes catch myself doing stupid shit like that when my brain glitches. Then I'm the butt of the idiot jokes. LOL!

Yup...this juiciness is from me....


wickedeasy replies on 7/21/2006 12:22 pm:
that's why they speak to us - we've all been there and done that


warmandsexy52 64M
13164 posts
7/21/2006 11:16 am

Did I tell you about three of my schoolmates who decided to run away from boarding school in Dover and take the channel ferry to France? They sneaked on at midnight, hid under the tarpaulin of a lifeboat ........ and waited ........ and waited ........ and waited. There was a major police search for three missing teenage boys in the meantime.

After a couple of days they had the courage to check out their whereabouts........

The ferry was in dry dock.

warm xx

wickedeasy replies on 7/21/2006 12:23 pm:

aww - poor babies

somethingelse40 74M
14676 posts
7/21/2006 11:35 am

Indeed, where there's a pill, there's a way. Exactly how far must I go, and in which direction, in order to capture the right illusions? This intense pursuit of libinous health is ruining my body and destroying my mind. Maybe it’s time for another try at some of the things perhaps you once vowed you’d never attempt again.

wickedeasy replies on 7/21/2006 12:24 pm:
i have never said never until just now when i said it twice

somethingelse40 74M
14676 posts
7/22/2006 6:37 am

Despite what many people apparently believe, there is no such thing as a right to annoy me.

wickedeasy replies on 7/22/2006 7:49 am:
am i annoying you - i do beg pardon

and here i thought we were playing........

somethingelse40 74M
14676 posts
7/22/2006 10:46 am

Have I ever used poor judgment? Perhaps … but that’s something only for which I’m still paying. Unfortunately sometimes the best defense is a skillful surrender. Is it your move?

wickedeasy replies on 7/22/2006 10:56 am:
i do love a man with a white flag

okay mr ellipse - my move

when love is lost, do the crumbs on the trail continue to have meaning?

somethingelse40 74M
14676 posts
7/22/2006 11:42 am

... perhaps only to the birds? Yet while trying to decide the most reasonable thing to do, people sometimes behave very unreasonable.

wickedeasy replies on 7/22/2006 12:32 pm:
who pays any attention to the syntax of things will never wholly fee

somethingelse40 74M
14676 posts
7/22/2006 1:18 pm

Some people just can't be trusted, especially with regard to syntax, but of course some can be trusted considerably more than they wish for.

wickedeasy replies on 7/22/2006 4:28 pm:
if wishes were horses then beggars would ride

somethingelse40 74M
14676 posts
7/24/2006 3:07 am

I've had some of my wishes for so long that they don't fit me any more. Yet no matter how they twist and turn, one's past wishes inevitably lead to one's present wishes.

wickedeasy replies on 7/24/2006 6:58 am:
yes they do -

somethingelse40 74M
14676 posts
7/24/2006 3:10 am

Perhaps some wishes are so private that they never seem to make any public sense?

wickedeasy replies on 7/24/2006 7:00 am:
ah and now we get to the meat of things - if one were to know you, really know you, would they run screaming

or just fold you in their arms and say wow

somethingelse40 74M
14676 posts
7/24/2006 3:08 pm

The only way I can think of to thank you for your curiosity is to request more. All of my affections come with a thorough limited warranty.

wickedeasy replies on 7/25/2006 2:55 pm:
based on utilization or repairs

god this is fun

somethingelse40 74M
14676 posts
7/25/2006 3:53 pm

Have we discovered happiness by accident?

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