a public stoning  

wickedeasy 66F  
14980 posts
7/29/2006 2:50 pm
a public stoning


today i witnessed something

a public stoning

oh i know that one doesn't think that such things happen here - impossible, why we're all so open and honest and caring

some of us are - blessings to you all

but some folks aren't - and that's just the truth, not a judgment - just the truth.

i was in a chat room. a person who misled by profile his true self, was called to account by someone who was protecting the newbies and the people who might be conned by this person.

admirable? yes

but this was not just a hey wait a minute that's not what i know, heard, heard you say. this became a public humiliation for this one person who lied (yup he did) and got caught in it. DId that person own up to it? nope. Did he try to make it about something else? yup. is this person someone who i will ever trust again? nope

but to publicly vilify someone? to take that person and put their life and their words on screen? to do this publicly not privately? and not just once but over and over (apparently this has been going on for three days now). who's in the right? i honestly don't care. at this point, no one is winning anything and the room suffers.

once when i was in this same chat room i told someone who was just being so awful and mean, SHUT UP. i later returned to apologize - not because what she did was acceptable, but because what i did wasn't.

there's a great cartoon i keep over my desk - a kid coming home from school, the mom says, hi you're home early. his reply "yeah well all of my friends went to jump off a cliff but i came home instead"

i don't like lying - i like public humiliation less -

a stoning in the village square

i need a shower

You cannot conceive the many without the one.


free2chose2 66F

7/29/2006 3:18 pm

I can see your point, and possibly someone could have emailed the person(s) he was attempting to misle but trying to run a con(lying)is worse in my opinion

Don't worry, be Happy


wickedeasy replies on 7/29/2006 3:55 pm:
yes the con is worse - but when does exposing the con become torturing the person -

clearly the man's credibility is finished - i just did not see the need to engage everyone in his humiliation

rm_saintlianna 45F
15466 posts
7/29/2006 3:23 pm

I thought this was going to be about smoking a joint on main street, oh well.

not because what she did was acceptable, but because what i did wasn't.

I love that line, its one of the best I have heard in a long time. That is one to live by


wickedeasy replies on 7/29/2006 3:56 pm:
grins

i'll do that one next - oh wait - maybe the time in an LA restaurant when the air was so think with reefer smoke all you had to do was breathe to get high

ah, those were the days, my friend


Sinderlicious 51F
310 posts
7/29/2006 3:29 pm

Oy..the chatrooms...where computer courage abounds and the only thing people have to use are their words. Some are capable and some are not but I often wonder (having seen this same thing in countless other forums myself as well)if they would act the same if they were face to face with the person.

I've protected a few newbies myself from people that I factually know are not to be trusted - key word...factually. Not assumptive nor grapevine info. But then I've learned to pick my battles carefully and I know how to be tactful. For instance: there's a penis bearer in my local chatroom who has had two restraining orders filed against him for stalking two different woman after dating for 2 or less weeks. I know cuz I've seen both documents. He's charming in this forum...he's attractive...he's intelligent..he's off his rocker. If I see someone naive or new getting too involved you bet I'm going to say something because I couldn't live with myself if something happened to someone and I COULD have stopped it and I'd sure as hell want someone to tell ME in that situation! But it's a fine line and it sounds like what happened for you was overboard...*le sigh*

Sin like you mean it!


wickedeasy replies on 7/29/2006 4:00 pm:
i have often spoken to someone who was becoming entangled with a snake - off line

this is a forum for everyone - and while i agree that a warning is appropriate, i worry when folks feel justified in open torture and vilification. a quiet word is usually sufficient, no?

yes protect. but also protect the right of each one of us to have some level of free speech in a chat room -

Theflinkychick 105F

7/29/2006 3:33 pm

I agree with you. Giving a heads up to the others in the room was ok, but that should have been enough.

Not all who wander are lost.


wickedeasy replies on 7/29/2006 4:00 pm:
yes, it should have been

mysticdreamangel 60F
2759 posts
7/29/2006 4:22 pm

    Quoting Theflinkychick:
    I agree with you. Giving a heads up to the others in the room was ok, but that should have been enough.
How sad for him, but how sad for those that attacked him! Let's hope that everyone reads your words and does some self reflection on their own actions!

Thank you for sharing this with all that will read it.


wickedeasy replies on 7/30/2006 8:29 am:
thank you for stopping by - sometimes i'm a lot more fun to read

angelofmercy5 58F
17881 posts
7/29/2006 4:26 pm

WE....this was a great post! I think with your post and some of the great comments....maybe we can all learn a thing or two here. Thanks.


wickedeasy replies on 7/30/2006 8:31 am:
problem is ms. angel - i'm preaching to the choir here - lol - and the ones that need to hear, well they just don't sometimes

Panthiest 72M

7/29/2006 5:26 pm

"there's a great cartoon i keep over my desk - a kid coming home from school, the mom says, hi you're home early. his reply "yeah well all of my friends went to jump off a cliff but i came home instead"

I have a similar one. All the lemmungs are marching to the sea but one whois trying not to be conspicuous while wearing a life preserver.


wickedeasy replies on 7/30/2006 8:32 am:
i love it - oh how wonderful

libgemOH 56M/52F

7/29/2006 6:04 pm

Just posted something about this same thing. Talk about misleading....isn't this supposed to be an adult site???? Getting pretty sick of the stonings too!! -B


wickedeasy replies on 7/30/2006 8:33 am:
i loved the image of the sandbox - brilliant

ButteryDelight 58F

7/29/2006 7:47 pm

I am so glad I have missed this particular stoning. I have seen enough of them in the chat room to give me a belly ache.

I'm glad you spoke up.

Buttery Delight


wickedeasy replies on 7/30/2006 8:34 am:
it's just not a place i go to much anymore - and that's sad, because i miss some folks a lot

rm_CuummDrop 48F
2591 posts
7/29/2006 9:39 pm

easy, is this about you know who coming back into the same chatroom that you and i were in the other day?

Now won't last forever, so use it wisely~c


wickedeasy replies on 7/30/2006 8:37 am:
yup

lord knows CD - i don't support the fraud - but folks were attacking and attacking - a feeding frenzy - made my heart ache

warmandsexy52 64M
13164 posts
7/30/2006 5:17 am

I just think such behaviour is totally unacceptable. Some people seem to have a schagenfreude - delighting in others' misery, and once the bit is between the teeth they don't know how to let go.

On a personal level I don't much like chatrooms. I prefer conferencing on IM if I am to chat in a group. When I first used a chatroom I was pretty intimidated, and a hostile chatroom - even if you are not the target - must be a freaky place indeed. Enough to put a newbie off completely.

If there really are concerns then they can be addressed so much more discreetly, as anyone who's been on this site for any time knows.

Sad it had to be written, but a great and very timely post.

warm xx


wickedeasy replies on 7/30/2006 8:41 am:
hugs -

thank you

does the word mean cold blooded?

meerkittykat 42F

7/30/2006 11:30 am

I started out here as a chatter, and know full well of the public stonings of which you speak.

I always question the liar, although as you know I have stated, we can never know one's motivation for doing so.

I champion the one who holds people accountable, as few people do it. It requires some courage.

What truly sickened me in the chats was the mob stoning. You had one person speak up, then the rest of the mob joins in with their two cents. It's so easy to gang up on people, where, if someone hadn't said anything, you were fine going about on your merry way. That mob mentality, to me, is the most detrimental and the main reason I never go into chat anymore. So I came to the blogs.

Oh wait.....people do that here too. We just sound more intelligent and use bigger words.


wickedeasy replies on 7/30/2006 4:38 pm:
there ya go

just because we use bigger words and sound more articulate -

sighs

a stoning is a stoning - and i don't know anyone, ANYONE, who has that right

MOfunNOWWOW 55F

7/30/2006 7:47 pm

Blogathetically speaking, "Wouldn't it be nice if we all didn't get along cause we don't and when we didn't we thought WOW...they mess up like I do, maybe we can work through this?"

I have been known to take on self righteous attitudes and when I do I look back and well...I hate me. Empathy is a marvelous gift.

This is a great post and I have to admit my guilt...maybe not the specific incident you are speaking of but I have done the same and it does make me ashamed.

Trying to walk each step a little better than the last. MOlove for ya {=}


MOMO
just a squirrel trying to get a nut


wickedeasy replies on 7/31/2006 5:56 am:
oh MO

isn't taht all we can do? see it, name it, claim it and move on

tight hugs

lacenleather2 105F
159 posts
7/30/2006 8:02 pm

wicked , i was there for most of this stoning and although i had never met the "stoned" , i "know" most of the "stoners".Gave me a head ache , made me sad, and am not as eager to go back to the room .I agree amd think that it became excessive and insensitive to the point of vulgar on both sides.
lacen


wickedeasy replies on 7/31/2006 6:00 am:
it was endless

a couple of folks including Jake and I - tried to call the game but no one was having it

and yes - it makes the folks you want to chat with loathe to return

i don't question the need to disclose - the man could be dangerous - altho i find him more pathetic than scary - but the lynch mob mentality was taking over - isn't that why we all have iggy??

love to you sis

papyrina 50F
21133 posts
7/31/2006 1:05 pm

its happening far too often even in Greek chat,

but in saying that i've publicle outed two people,one who insulted me big time behind my back to a few members and the other is Spanish bitch and i did that in public to make sure i had witness to her behavior,the first guy left the site,i did feel bad ,had he written too me and said he hated my guts i would have ignored but he spread malicious lies ,so i called it out loud.

No i'm not proud of it,


I'm a

and
i'm here to stay


wickedeasy replies on 8/1/2006 4:39 pm:
naming it isn't the same thing as a stoning

and if someone is jeopardizing your name, it's your responsibility to say something - hugs

i just get a little freaked by the whole mob thing - like meer said

rm_shannee2006 52F
3355 posts
7/31/2006 8:45 pm

Flaming sucks. Not okay. No friggin need for it. Doesn't accomplish anything but spread a whole lot of negativity and angst...and who the hell does that serve except the drama queens?

Hey thanks for that story...phew! You two sure have an intense experience together!! Thanks again!

Yup...this juiciness is from me....

S


wickedeasy replies on 8/1/2006 4:41 pm:
grins - glad you liked the story - was in response to your question about power exchange

NG once named the types in the chat rooms - attention sluts was one of them - i'd giggle if i knew how

Become a member to create a blog