When to forget caution  

whoknew411 42M
160 posts
10/2/2005 12:24 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

When to forget caution

Here I am on a lazy Sunday. I'm playing my shut-in role. I keep wanting to write a blog entry about something that's troubling me but I don't quite know how to attack it.

It has generally to do with how to deal with people who decide to hurt you. At what point in a relationship does one go from a trusted friend to a combatant? What are the justifiable reasons to deny a friend re-entry into your life?

I have struggled a great deal with recent events in my life. They are not important events in the long run, but I find my answer to this life question very troubling. I was wronged by someone, and I became righteous.

I'm not that guy. I'm not the person who throws reason out the window after being wronged by someone. I don't let my emotion compromise my ethics.

But I find myself doing the same thing I would do if I were a vengeful guy. I've become the sort of selective enforcer I complain about. Rules are bendable until they adversely affect me then they are rigid. How horrible and common a morality I've shown.

I've spoken about this with everyone I know. I can't seem to find peace from the ramifications of the 180 degree turn I've taken. I feel like a police officer taking someone's mother away to jail.

Yes that is it, that is the crux of this. I have hurt someone in the name of justice. I'm a liberal guy, the concept of hurting an individual to help some abstract contract with society is anathema.

So I find myself in a moral conundrum. I can't support or detract from what I did. I know what he did was wrong, but I don't feel morally strong enough to both be the victim and the person who exacts punishment.

It's so complicated a moral question, so ambiguous. I don't like moral questions this complex, I can't help but think if I had acted in accord with a more basic ethical position earlier I might have avoided this. It may be draconian, but at least I wouldn't have to deal with having someone so close to me be a thief.

I wish it hadn't happened and I had the friend back. But now I've been betrayed and I can't let that stand... stare decision I'd be robbed by everyone I know.


rm_2JRK7 78M

10/2/2005 4:05 pm

Have you ever considered what a great friend that person was? From what I understand, so called friends do not steal from another friend, so what sort of friend was he/she. You have been betrayed and it is time for you to seek out new friends, put what has happened in the past, and do not let it deter you from living your life to the upmost.There are many ways to help you forget, take up a hobby, go for a trip somewhere. Time is a great healer, take the time to spend time with your other friends, those who have stuck by you. Friends are like a good drop of whiskey, it has to be natured, and let to grow to maturity over time. Good luck and God Bless.

nakednightswimme 40F

10/4/2005 11:44 am

Maybe I understand in a different way, every-time I lose an old friend there's a double penalty... Often I feel as if I've lost the bit of past they shared with me, a similar reaction as if a tree falls in the woods and no one hears it, the times I enjoyed with them I now have no one to recall them with, absent that shared remembering slowly they lose their luster, vibrance, and relevance. Till quietly I'm left with only the present and feel adrift with no home town, rootless, and unmissed. Kay that was pretty depressing, hold on let me explain my second issue - as I've peeked through your words and glimpsed just the barest moments of converging issues between us, I see you in me, it's a supreme effort for me to take on a new friend, to be truthful most people just don't interest me and/or have personalty traits that while not making them bad people forever place in almost a different dimension from me. I am uncomfortable with new people, often standoffish, most times like listening to a new album don't like them the first 5 or 10 times I meet them, they have to grow on me. Most of the time I just fail to run into one person that often, plus its all this effort and then an awful lot of the time I find out something about them that I just can live with, like they're republican, only listen to country music, like to talk about "Jesus Christ", or worse have some problem with my lifestyle. That really sucks cuz I've just spent all this time I could have been playing video games or flying kites trying to get to know them.... Just wondering if that's any closer to what you feel or if you just have a whole other set of issues with losing old friends... Sorry about my rambling style, haven't gotten enough sleep lately...

nakednightswimme 40F

10/4/2005 11:50 am

"and do you know how disconcerting it is to chat with a penis avatar?" ROFL.... course I'm not much better if a guy was talking to me in person and stared at my chest like this I'd probaly tell him to go to hell, but to be fair I do have the same reaction to close ups of pussy's.

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