Photogenic Bastards  

whoknew411 42M
160 posts
10/2/2005 1:05 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Photogenic Bastards

I've noticed since I started this blog that it's beginning to fulfill some inner need to communicate. I find myself more comfortable writing to everyone than I am writing to anyone.

The last time I did something like this was 15 years ago. I wrote by hand into many notebooks, the process was slow and cumbersome. When I was a kid the doctors had me on this righteous downers all the time, I'm sure they affected my writing. I was discovering pot then too and was fascinated by it.

I was on a medicine called Midrin, it was prescribed for headaches. It was extremely strong and for a good couple of years as a kid I was on it like white on rice. I learned early that consciousness was alterable by substances. I also went to psychiatrists as a child. Looking back, it surely shaped my life later on. Once I became an adult I stopped going to psychiatrists, but having one's feelings examined like that at a formative age will have an effect.

I was an only child who's mind was picked apart by professionals for years. I got the impression as a kid that other people didn't live like me so I became a voyeur. As a kid I found nothing more interesting than walking around the neighborhood trying to find out how other people lived.

I'd look through their windows and my heart would race, I felt like I was unraveling the secrets of the universe. To look back and see how much I enjoyed it is almost spooky. I'm a grown man now, I don't do anything like that, but the memories are still intense.

Blogging reminds me of some reciprocal event, an exhibitionist reality check for other people. If I had known myself now as an adult when I was that age as a kid, I'd have grown up happier.

coupe313 46F
3 posts
10/3/2005 7:32 pm

I can only say wow, Your emotions are so deep and you are in touch, you are indeed rich beyond compare. You are something! I am at a lose for words and if I weren't I would feel stupid in comparison.

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