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Nothing to say
Nothing to say
It's evening, not late, but I'm toasty happy with my evening sacraments. I'm in a hotel, tomorrow morning I need to be awake and alert. I have to restrain myself to keep from ruining tomorrow.
My natural evening would have me just ever so slightly less careful. I'm sure there are many people who would be taking a horrible risk having a good amount of drinks the night before they work.
I'm not one of those.
I have been told by doctors who specialize in sleep that I have a sleep disorder. They say my body has this spasm type response after I fall asleep that wakes me up.
I don't notice this waking up issue. I do notice ancillary symptoms. I have moments of intense desire to move with great exertion. Due to social issues, I'm unable to stress my body to the extent that I can cope with these desires.
If I could be in a meeting, and go out and sprint until I couldn't breathe, that would sate my need. Unfortunately, no job save perhaps lumberjack allows people to do this. I am no lumberjack.
So I'm stuck. I can relax as much beyond work as the needs for sleep will allow. This, though insufficient, is still expensive and has side effects.
The other day I was at work and I nearly panicked from the desire to run. I held my urge in check. Hurray for me. I got the impression that at some point I'm not going to have the luxury of a choice. The day will come when I will snap and run.
The unfortunate thing is if I were to have a problem like say, kidney stones, nearly any behavior would be allowed, but if my problem is behavioral/symptomatic, I look like a spaz.
Well we'll see if it makes a difference down the road.
9/14/2005 2:15 pm
Hey guy I like your writing, Do you write poetry, If you don't your should as this stuff is really good and seems to show you have the ability to do it. I enjoy your blog as you are really tuned in and have a very clear view of what is going on then express it really well|